Gender Asymmetry, Emotion Work and Its Role in Gender Power Relations

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Recommended: Distinguish between masculinity and femininity

Gender Asymmetry, Emotion Work and Its Role in Gender Power Relations

In this essay the following topics will be discussed, gender

asymmetry, emotion work and what role this plays in gender power

relations in the context of heterosexual couples.

Duncombe and Marsden in 1993 use local survey evidence to illustrate

the gender difference or 'asymmetry' in intimate emotional behaviour.

It is a commonly known belief that in the first stages of a

relationship, it is passionate, loving, full of thought for each other

and romantic, however Mansfield and Collard (1988: 223) suggest that

after the so called honeymoon period,

"Couples seek incompatible emotional goals in marriage most (though

not all) men seek a life in common with their wives, a home life, a

physical and psychological base, somewhere to set out from and return

to - in contrast, the wives wanted a common life with an empathetic

partner, a close exchange of intimacy which would make them feel

valued as a person not just as a wife".

To begin in the marriage at different ideals, will this cause an

inevitable asymmetry in gender power relations?

"Only 3 months into marriage they (the wives) expressed deep

disappointment with the emotional asymmetry of their relationships:

they felt they were the ones who reassured and were understanding and

tender to their husbands, but that their husbands failed to

reciprocate by being equally intimate and open in disclosing their

emotions"

(Mansfield and Collard 1988: 178-9)

Before the marriage were the husbands able or willing to disclose

emotions? Did the of the men's behaviour suddenly change or after

marriage did wome...

... middle of paper ...

...e way they speak about love, sex and emotion is evident,

and this pattern is often reproduced down the generations. It has been

argued that one of the reasons men don't show intimacy is because they

have not seen their Father disclose emotions, never heard him say 'I

love you' or physically cuddle. There is an emphasis on activities and

physical 'masculine' action, sport for example. Women have the

emphasis upon the talking and emotional aspects of relationships. This

applies to many more relationships not just the heterosexual couple,

friendships to. It has been assumed that the emotional management in

the private sphere has been the work of the woman and that many of the

women are dissatisfied with this; but surely men must be capable of

emotional management, in the end isn't management where most men

outclass women.

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