Gawain Has Enough

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Gawain Has Enough

It was a bright and beautiful morn, the perfect weather for embarking on a hunting trip. The majestic King Arthur, illustrious leader of the Knights of the Round Table, could not believe his luck. As he was carried across a grassy knoll (by some beggars he’d chanced to acquire along the way) he contemplated the unbridled feelings of joy brought to him by his loyal knights. When Arthur happened to spot a pot-bellied pig out of the corner of his kingly eye, he quickly reined in the beggars and gracefully dismounted. Following a brief target practice involving the taller beggar and an overripe peach, the king successfully smote the baby boar.

“Aha, I do believe I’ve smote the beast,” the king announced with pride. “Do thou not agree my fine beggars?”

“We think thou hast it right, sire; t’was most brave and royal of you,” the beggars replied in unison (as they were beggars of the Siamese kind).

Most suddenly, the kindly conversation between the king and his beggars was rudely interrupted by a piercing scream. A small green man, wearing a tall hat and carrying a large sum of gold in a black fire-pot began to kick Arthur in the shins. Seeing a fine opportunity for a quick escape from the King, the beggars fled in laughter.

“What have I done to deserve such fierce and foulle behavior?” the king asked.

“You’ve smote mine pot-bellied pig,” the little green man replied. “ T’is a lucky pig that can n’er be replaced.”

“Know you not that I am the most illustrious and royal King Arthur?”

The angry little green man introduced himself as Todd and told the king that he did not care how illustrious or royal he was. Todd was most determined to have vengeance for the slaying of his lucky pig. After much lengthy discussion, and Todd’s refusal to accept the beggars (now long gone) as consolation for the slain little beast, King Arthur was in a most precarious position. Todd was getting ready to unleash a second ghastly kick to Arthur’s shins when he came upon an idea.

“Know thee not a Sir Gawain?” Todd asked.

“Yes,” said the king, “he is one of my most loyal knights.”

“To preserve thine kingly life, I order thee to bring me Sir Gawain.”

“But why?” asked the king.

“Gawain must replace mine lucky pig,” Todd replied. “Bring him at once with a snout on his face and a most curly tail on his brave behind.

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