I would break down and cry to myself, but I would never talk about it. It all started with his being jealous. He started to be controlling, and I let him. I would say to myself, “I should’ve done this; I should’ve done that.” The first thing that I should’ve done was put my foot down when I saw things going bad. Sometimes I asked myself, “Why would I let this happen to me?” I was scared and “in love.” Well at least I thought I was, because I didn’t know what love was.
But she wasn't satisfied with just shifting it; she had to twist it and rearrange it until the blame was situated on me for something that had absolutely nothing to do with the initial argument. It was as if she thought she could confuse me into believing the whole thing was my fault. As if I would suddenly feel guilty for her trivial, self proclaimed plight. However, oftentimes this plan of hers would actually work. That was probably why she was still using it now.
There was just too much stress added with finally realizing my feelings. I couldn't figure out if I had rather never discovered them or not. Why wasn't he saying anything? Why couldn't I get over him? I swore it had to be the worst timing.
Something had to have happened. The next day I walked right up to her and asked, "What 's wrong, what did I do for you to stop being my friend? ", and she replied with, "I heard you was talking about me." When I heard that I saw red, I would never talk about my best friend to anyone, but what really confused me was that she was my only friend so who could I have said that too? She turned her back to me and ended the conversation, that really hurt but I left, but not without telling her, " You 're my best friend, I could never do that to you.
I was scared of someone caring about what I did after nobody had for so long. If they started to care for me, I might start to trust them, believe them, love them, but then they would just betray me. Just like my mother's love had. I was scared of carrying the burden of somebody else's expectation. I did not need more on my mind to think about.
I had shut her out because I thought she would not have understood or would have judged me because of what I had been through. She was very comforting and sensitive towards my feelings. She told me, “No matter what you go through you will always have me to turn to.” Sometimes you have to be selfish and be there completely for yourself. We only suffer what we
It suddenly dawned on her that she had never really thought abou... ... middle of paper ... ...ld not approve, but he said if they remained strong together, then it would not matter what they said. Fear had gripped her when she found out she was pregnant. He was silent for a moment when she told him. She held her breath. Would he leave her?
Granted, the girl has had a rough life, but the constant request for attention wears on us! The insincerity of the response in this situation arose from the fact that the situation was predictable and allowed for a mechanical reaction. The “caring” reply to Leesa’s distress cries came from someone that did not care. In this way, insincerity is a blatant lie. I did not really want to hear her elaborate upon the situation—to tell me that she was not alright and why.
In the article, To Do the Right Thing, Harriet Lerner writes and informs the reader about the different views and different forms of deception. I never believed or agreed with lying, however when I read this article my outlook on deception changed. Lerner discussed many different forms of lying, and how some are acceptable and some are not. I agree with the fact that there are different levels of deception and some are a lot worse than others. People lie for different reasons.
Epiphany number 2. I was being a total idiot. I know, not exactly uplifting but you 've got to admit, I really was. I was completely hiding my ture self in order to make friends who didn 't know the first thing about me. And to make things worse, I was trying to convince myself that this was who I really was!