Family Systems

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I. Family Systems and Development
The contrast between healthy and unhealthy families can be traced to biblical teaching of 1 Corinthians 13:1-13; If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. Healthy family systems produce positive behaviors, strong self-esteem and good academic progress in school. Healthy families mirror 1 Corinthians 13. Unhealthy families are riddled with abuse, poor communication between family members, and uninvolved or authoritative parents. Unhealthy family systems cause low self-esteem, depression and behavior problems.
II. Healthy Development and Healthy Family Systems
Healthy families are based on what is real. Each person knows his abilities and lack of ability. They both also know what the other’s strengths and weaknesses are and try to build on both. This can also be known as the ability to compliment the other person’s short comings with your strengths, but is also another side to that you have to accept your short comings and also allow that other person to compliment them. Khoei suggests that “Men preferred a mate who was a good housewife, capable of cooking, and women preferred a mate with "Good earning capacity", "Good financial prospect" "university education", "Favorable social status" and "Industriousness". (K...

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... Resentment is one gift that the person keeps and refuses to let go of. The resentment is like a chain holding a person under water. The forgiveness is a freeing release to breathe the fresh air again. Forgiveness is also associated with security and the resentment breads fears. The fear is that fiction that the unhealthy families are built upon. Hebrews 13:5-6; Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" That forgiveness and fear can either free you or debilitate you. Both have lasting impacts on development. Strong ties in a family cause great leaders into adulthood. Weak ties in families cause depression and antisocial life skills in children and adults.

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