It is impossible to find a family that is problem-free. Family problems range from financial troubles to sibling rivalries to marital differences. Because these issues are inevitable, they often come without any severe consequences. Children are extremely resilient and can recover from temporary and mild family issues. The more extreme cases of parental differential treatment and poor sibling relationships, however, stem from more than just day-to-day family rivalries and can be a risk factor for mood disorders and psychological adjustment problems. Differential negative treatment of parents to one child negatively affects family and sibling relationships. Poor sibling relationships and differential parental treatment are an environmental risk factor for psychological adjustment and major depression throughout adolescence and adulthood.
Sibling rivalry is essentially a competition between siblings and the measures to which one will go to receive attention from a parent. Though most parents will not admit to having a “favorite child,” research shows that even at an early age, children are able to pick out differences in parental treatment between oneself and his or her sibling. In fact, “parental rejection” has been linked with newborn’s feeding and sleeping problems and failure to thrive (Rushton). As a struggle for attention, Shanahan describes a possible interaction of a dyadic sibling relationship by saying that older siblings may abstain from becoming emotionally close with younger siblings to make up for their disappointment of the parent-child relationship. In an opposing manner, the younger sibling will act out behaviorally to obtain attention from parents.
Both gender and age play a role in the effects parental differe...
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...ildren the same way their parents treated them. Everyone is born with a certain temperament and personality that they are born with and that remains stable throughout life. If a parent and a child’s personalities are dissimilar and don’t mesh well, this is referred to as a bad “goodness of fit.” The “symbolization” hypothesis could be intact if a child reminds the caregiver of someone else, such as the child’s other birth parent, the caregiver uses the child as a symbol that person. If that parent is either dead or was abusive or there was a painful breakup, the caregiver may treat that child with the negativity they associate with the other parent. Possibly the most interesting hypothesis is the “family secret” hypothesis. When a child is the result of an affair, or holds any other secret, a parent may single out the child for being the holder of that secret.
The personality of an individual and many other aspects of their life are integrated into their lifestyle as they grew up under the guidance of their parents. Some say that a person is born twice; once under the wings and guidance of their parents, and again when they themselves have children. In a lot of cases it is an arduous adventure, being a parent and in many ways, life changing. The difficulties that come to a parent or parents do not only arrive from the direct disturbances the offspring creates, but also knowing the fact that the way in which they act, punish, and teach will forever affect the life of that child. There are a variety of different outcomes from which the parent has had much effect on the child, some are simple as “like
Cohn, M., & Ariyakulkan, L. (2008). The importance of the sibling relationship for children in
Rauer, A. L. (2007). Differential parenting and sibling jealousy: Developmental correlates of young adults’ romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 14(4), 495-511.
Ever young child will look up to their parents when they are younger, some might be happy with their parent’s parenting abilities, and some while disgusted will mimic those behaviors when they are older because those actions will lie in the unconscious.
Growing up in my family I was the first born of two children. For me this meant that I was the ultimate guinea pig for my parents, and therefore how I was raised was much different from how my younger brother was raised. I notice, now that I am older, there were many differences on the parenting techniques that were used to raise us both as individuals. Ultimately this caused my brother and I to be totally opposites. To this day I feel like birth order plays a large role in my family, and sometimes it is hard to watch my brother get of easy when I am living a more difficult life.
Their conclusion is that family dynamics have a key role in creating the context where sibling
An adult sibling’s relationship may be the secret to happy, long life. Harwood, 2007 p. 105 emphasized it by saying that sibling’s relationship has the potential to be the most lifelong relationship of all. There is probably a biological explanation for this sibling bond. Siblings share some fundamental experiences which others do not. Siblings are age peers, grew up in same environment, of same parents, and extended family. They share the same cultural and religious heritage, and shared childhood experiences.
Most children experience agony and hope as they face the struggles of sibling rivalry throughout their childhood. This situation has been experienced by children, of whom may or may not have siblings, for hundreds of years. Several stories represent this crisis, including the Biblical story of Abel and Cain which was written over 3000 years ago. Abel of whom was forced to be Cain’s ash-brother. Cain had developed an intense feeling of jealousy of Abel when his offering to the Lord was rejected while Abel’s was accepted. This caused him great agony, but he wasn’t the only one. The fairytale “Cinderella” encompasses the ideas of sibling rivalry as well as the agonies and hopes that correspond with it.
The family unit has always been an integral part of every person’s development. Naturally, the parental figure plays an overwhelming influence in the maturity of the child, but sibling interaction can be just as great. Often sibling rivalry, or alliance, outlines this connection as a person carves a path into social peer groups. This articulation of sibling influence can be understood by examining the short stories “The Red Convertible” by Louise Erdrich and “Sonny’s Blues” by James Baldwin, both accounts of brotherly experience shown through separation and drug abuse.
In this brief authors Epstein, Griffin and Botvin, (2008), Maintains that young sibling play an important role in shaping their environment. During an individual’s early childhood, attitudes and behavior is developed. However, the author believes that older sibling plays an important role in creating family standards and structure throughout the lifespan (Epstein, Griffin, & Botvin, 2008).
Whiteman, S. D., Becerra, J. M., & Killoren, S. E. (2009). Mechanisms of sibling socialization in normative family development. New Directions For Child & Adolescent Development, 2009(126), 29-43. doi:10.1002/cd.255
How would a society mature if it did not advance alongside technology? This is one of the questions impressed upon me while reading an excerpt from American poet and author Robert Bly’s book The Sibling Society. Bly defines a sibling society as a society that is filled with half-mature adults filling the void left by improper role models. They use internet and electronic entertainment as a substitution for the values and convictions that would have been imparted in them by an authoritative figure. Although we have an alarming amount of immature adults, we are not becoming a sibling society due to technology. With the use of technology, recent generations are now growing up with an awareness of the issues in the world around them, helping them
I have had the luck of being the oldest of my mothers’ seven children, and the pleasure of having three of my own, and one step-son. I’ve spent a lot of time changing diapers, wiping noses, and kissing ouchies. I’ve carried babies on my hip that I’ve seen off to kindergarten, helped dressed for the first school dance, attended their graduation, and even been there when they have had their first baby. I have spent a lot of time analyzing their behavior, moods, or lack thereof. I’ve concluded that there are 4 types of children, I have been blessed with one of each. The 4 different types are: The Superstar, The Kool Kat, The Lil’ Mama or Little Man (depending on the sex of the child), and The Rebel.
It’s easy to generate within a family, especially one with two or more siblings, because as children get older, age differences arise and spark rivalry. For example, some people believe that sibling rivalry is more intense or will be more frequent when it comes to how siblings interact with one another. However, gender does play an influential role in the outcome of sibling relations and rivalry. Furthermore, gender affects go hand-in-hand with parental treatment.
Sarrazin, J., & Cyr, F. (2007). Parental conflicts and their damaging effects on children. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 47(1), 77-93.