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Concluesion on effects of divorce on children
Concluesion on effects of divorce on children
Effects of divorce on children's development
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Worrying is a normal and healthy behavior but when it interfere with someone everyday life where they can't carry out normal routine it becomes a problem where they may need help dealing with the situation. Children of divorcing parents often struggle with anxiety. Anxiety is fear or nervousness about what might happen. It comes through feeling abandon, guilt, and change in their living condition. If parents argue in front of their child, or vent their hurt or anger about the other parent to the child, the child may blame himself for the divorce, or feel under pressure to take one parent's side over the other's, says the HelpGuide.org article, "Children and Divorce.” ( ) If parents do not put their children's benefits before and after the divorce, the child's long- term mental and emotional health may suffer, sometimes can occur to anxiety and depression. Children who witness their parents relationship falling apart can feel anxiety when dating in the future. Children with divorced parents often focus too much on failed relationships and assume they will experience the same outcome. …show more content…
Even ten years later after the event, children with separated parents may have trouble finding a sustain healthy relationship. Children's parents who got divorce are more likely to get divorce themselves. The adult child can fear of abandonment, failure, and loss of affection which can hurt the child in their future relationship to commit or the ability to work through the problems. According to psychologist Jan Gumbiner in the article, "Divorce Hurts Children, Even Grown Ones," for Psychology Today, someone whose parents divorced may go into a marriage thinking, "I know I can leave." (
When two people decide to get a divorce, their children do not wholly understand what is going on. "Regardless of their age, children usually blame themselves when their parents divorce" (Bankston 382). They don't understand their parents anger at each other, so they believe this is happening because of something they have done. This is why parents need to open up and see that it is not just about themselves, but it is also about the welfare of their children.
Children of divorce have a different experience during the holidays, birthdays, and other family events. The process of parental separation alone can pay a toll on a child’s psychological health. Family events may make things awkward around the parents, but that doesn’t even compare to the things children of divorce will have to deal with, even into their adult lives. Constance Matthienssen, author and mother of three, shares in her article “Harry Potter and Divorce Among the Muggles” how her divorce affected her children (“Harry Potter”). Many parents don’t think about a divorce will affect their young children as they grow older, but divorce affects children even into their adult lives. Children of divorce grow to develop negative relationships with their parents, they tend to have poor self-esteem, and they may even find themselves unable to maintain an intimate relationship in their adulthood. Divorce affects every child differently, but it can cause many social issues into their adult lives.
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
Divorce is not a word many people like to use in casual conversation. It has a derogatory connotation that just leaves a lingering feeling of sadness hanging in the air. Although I grant that there are times when there is nothing left to do but move on in a relationship, I still maintain that a marriage is meant to be for life and it’s not something that should be given up on lightly. “Fifty percent of first marriages, sixty seven percent of second marriages and seventy four of third marriages end in divorce (Baker, 2011.)” That statistic is staggering. Recent studies state that there are three main contributors to the rise in the American divorce rate. They include young age, education, and income. The effects of divorce on children can be detrimental to their development and sense of self, especially during their crucial adolescent years. “Basically, divorce tends to intensify the child’s dependence and it tends to accelerate the adolescent’s independence; it often elicits a more regressive response in the child and more aggressive response in the adolescent (Pickhardt, 2011)” Mr. Pickard acknowledges that children and adolescents respond differently to the ending of a marriage. The three main effects of divorce on adolescents are separation, differentiation, and opposition. Because half of all marriages are likely to end in divorce, parents with adolescents should think clearly before choosing to separate. In order to ensure that they are not placing added stress onto their kids during one of their most hectic stages of life.
The article “Divorce and Its Effects on Children” by Kelvin L. Seifert and Robert J. Hoffnung states about the effects of the divorce under the children. The authors say “most parents who divorce must make major adjustments in their lives, and these adjustments often affect their children deeply.”(Kelvin, Robert, 1). Most of the adjustments are different by the children gender and sometimes the relationship between parents and their children deteriorate during and immediately after a divorce.
When a couple with a child chooses to get a divorce this can have major impact on a child at any age. There are many causes of stress throughout the divorce process that can negatively affect children. First, negative reactions and behaviors are dependent upon the situation before the divorce. Some studies show that how much parents fight, how it is done, how it is resolved, and what precautions are taken to protect the children from it's effects are the most important predictors of child adjustment (Kelly, 2000). Meaning that if children are exposed to fights about custody, money, or the failing marriage they could feel the repercussions of their parents conflict. Next, divorce can cause children to have heightened fear...
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
Children can suffer from, fear, grief, anger, depression, shame, sadness, anxiety, embarrassment, self-blame, abandonment, and many other things. (Borden, 2015). There is no guarantee that if a child goes through a divorce that they will experience any or all of these things and there is no guarantee that they would not experience these things if a divorce did not happen as well. A divorce definitely would not help the child in this area and it would be in the best interest of the parents for a divorce to not happen if children were
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
Some parents who are going through a divorce wonder what the effects of their decision to dissolve the marriage will be on the children. Parents worry that their divorce will cause their children emotional problems that will last a lifetime. These worries are not unsubstantiated. Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary.
Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship. Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious.
American Journalist, Helen Rowland said, “ When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand each other, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to” (1). Divorce means the ending of a marriage by legal separation, thus, a couple that were once bonded together have now separated for opposing reasons. Divorce has hurt and destroyed many families across the world and can cause a lot of negativity. Teens often do not know how to deal with the fact that their family is no longer whole and they will transition into a depression. Teens may experience emotional damage by seeing the two most important people in their lives fight constantly. There is a good side and a bad side to seeing parents go through a divorce as a teen. Quite often teens tend to see that, since they are so unhappy, that it is better for them to separate because they do not want to see their parents get hurt. Even when separated, they learn to communicate and bond between one another. The negative side of divorce is that families sometimes stay torn apart, therefore: There is a lot of anger, rage that happens because going through a situation like this is not something that is easy, and many emotions become involved. Dealing with their parents can be difficult for some teens, but for many others, they feel as if a divorce will make their family happier without seeing all of the fighting.
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.