Divorce is defined as the ending of a marriage by a legal process or a complete separation between two things. (Divorce) Divorce in our generation is becoming a common concept than it was before in other generations. Roughly around fifty percent of people whom getting married in our generation end in a divorce. Statistics prove that two of five children will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach age eighteen. (Matthews) For different reasons, many couples get a divorce, while having children involved. Many, who are getting a divorce, may think of getting a divorce as a positive way or the best way for the child to get out of the negative environment they were in, while their parents were together. Basically, assuming that if the parents are happy, the children would be happy. In reality, divorce is a serious decision to make and affects the child involved in the situation, negatively. Divorce is hard for any person to cope with, let alone a child to go through. During a divorce, the child/children involved are losing the most important relationship in their life from the two most important people in their life, their own mother and father. The two people upon whom the child is dependent are no longer equally accessible to the child and the foundation of the child’s world is splintered. (Gindes) Divorce causes long-term negative impact on the child involved bringing upon emotional, behavior and social issues.
Children, whom are involved in divorce deal with much emotional baggage, which carries along other issues dealing with behavior and social issues. Dealing with divorce is a stressful experience for a child, before it happens and dealing with it after the divorce is finalized. Ongoing parental conflict ...
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Preschool age children, ages three to five, many times react with feelings of anger and sadness. Many of the preschool age children will regress after the initial shock of the separation. Signs of regression could be once again asking for a security blanket, bedwetting, returning to thumb sucking, needing help feeding themselves, or hitting their siblings. The children in this age group are more anxious and insecure than a child growing up in a two-parent home (Teyber 11). The majority of the children in the preschool age-group have abandonment issues and fear that since one parent has left the home that the other may move out as well. As the children get older the effects the divorce has on them is different but no less traumatizing.
The breakdown of a family can have many repercussions on the individual members with the least involvement. The children involved in a divorce are often times the most impacted victims of a divorce. Children with divorced parents are often left feeling neglected by the parent that has chosen to move out, unloved, and often times burdened with feelings of guilt. The poverty rates of single parented households are alarmingly high, and are often the result of divorce. With all these factors added together, divorce is a dangerous and scarring event in a child’s psyche.
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Divorce is a common transition in many families and has begun to become a natural standard of living in marriages (The Effects of Divorce on Children). Couples seek divorce for a variety of different reasons, the main goal being to find happiness that they are not finding in their current marriages. When a couple is going through divorce, sometimes they don’t notice the impact their separation has on their children. Children may feel very alone and turn to other things to help get them through this rough time in their life. While a few turn to something positive, many turn to negative activities. These negative activities and the divorce itself has both long-term and short-term effects on the children (Rappaport).
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Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan. "The Adjustment of Children with Divorced Parents: A Risk and Resiliency Perspective." Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry & Allied Disciplines 40, no. 1 (January 1999): 129. Academic Search Premier, EBSCOhost (accessed March 8, 2011).
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Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
Divorce has a negative effect on the psychological and social aspects of our children, which may appear instantly or not come to the surface for years. This is why I think that divorce should only be a last resort and not rushed into even by couples with the most troubled marriages. The only acceptable reason for someone rushing into divorce is if they or their children are in danger. I believe that marriage is a commitment not to be taken lightly and disregarded at the first bump in the road especially when there are children involved. Far too many people do not want to take responsibility for their actions and choices; for example, people use abortion as birth control and couples’ jumping in and out of marriages like it’s a trial and error institution. Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered as a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship.
Even though divorce is not commonly thought of as a good thing, it sometimes can have a positive outcome such as the children and parents being happy, and allowing the children to mature. Parents being separated can be better for the kids because they won’t have to deal with the parents fighting. If the kids are put in a better and stable environment it can affect them in positive ways. Sometimes divorce is better for the child if they have been in the environm...
After a divorce children from pre-school through late adolescence tend to experience the most of their problems in emotional development (Anderson "The Effect of a Broken Family on Development"). Having a parent leave the house can cause younger children to become confused as to why they left and aren’t coming back. These young children are more afra...
So, in conclusion, divorce is very bad for children. It ruins their lives and happiness. Losing a parent destroys a child emotionally, mentally and even academically. They would rather live with both parents because both of them are an important part of their lives. Two parents are better than one!