Almost everyone has heard of the word divorce; many have even dealt with it. Divorce, to a layman’s language, is when a marriage is permanently terminated by the couple, and it involves a legal decree. In legal terms, the definition is more or less the same; it’s just that it states new duties to both parties. Divorce can be granted by the law courts or by the religion courts. It all depends on how the couple tied the knot. The time period involved and the laws on divorce vary in each state, religion and complexity of the case that determines whether or not the petitioner should be granted a divorce. In most of the cases, if both partners agree to ending up their marriage, it is much quicker and easier rather than if one of them is reluctant to the idea.
Divorce can be a challenging time for both the couple and their families. Some divorces may be friendly while others may have a bitter end, which is quite expected at the loss of someone you had grown so fond of. It is never easy to accept this reality if you have gone through it, and for many a good healing time and space is also needed. Some divorcees have a hidden agenda as to why they want a divorce. One such reason might be a plan to get compensated or get rich by getting half of the property that the other partner had. No matter what the reason might be, a divorce serves the same purpose, i.e., to annul a marriage; it leaves many hearts broken, pockets pinched of money and children left with the question as to why did their parents get divorced.
Causes of a Divorce
Infidelity accounts for 50 percent of the divorces worldwide
Various relationship problems like finances, time, attitude towards a spouse and disinterest in the marriage
Poor communication in marriage
Dif...
... middle of paper ...
...em say that after a divorce, the only important thing in their lives is their children.
Divorced women experience twice as much stigma as men.
Even though a divorce is experienced by the 2 people in marriage, children are the most affected ones who get caught in the squabbles. An affected child would go from seeing both his parents living under the same roof to spending summer vacations with dad and the rest of the life with mom. In some rare cases, both parents may be deprived of their children and their next of kin, or grandparents may be awarded the custody. With such decisions, the child goes from living with people he knows from the beginning to staying with those who are strangers or distant relatives. A child needs stability while growing up and a divorce is a total opposite. Discussed below are some of the many ways in which a child suffers from a divorce:
Divorce is something that has been discussed and studied many times, as it is becoming more common in the United States. The children are the main ones being effected by the split relationship, however the amount of impact of the effects are based on many variables. I became interested in this subject because my best friends parents recently filed for divorce and I wanted to understand in what ways was this going to affect him in his life now and in the future.
For children, the divorce process is just as uncomfortable. It might be the end of everything they’ve ever known to be comforting, or true. It raises questions, creates anger, sadness and shame. When parental conflict is added to the upheaval of everyday life for a child, it can have many adverse effects: depression, lowered self-worth, social withdrawal, lack of concentration in school, and it can change how a child handles their own relationships as an adult.
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
While divorce gives parents a novel opportunity to begin a new life, it leads to an unfortunate twist in lifestyle for the children. In “What About The Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce” Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D., a psychologist who spent 25 years of her life studying the effects of divorce on children, and Sandra Blakeslee, a scientist writer who has spent nearly all of her profession writing for New York Times, wrote, “Each decision to divorce begins a long journey that holds surprising, unexpected turns.”. Divorce leads to many unforeseen negative consequences for the children involved. Some frequent symptoms such as, anxiety, depression, guilt and grief emerge in the children’s behavior.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
When a couple with a child chooses to get a divorce this can have major impact on a child at any age. There are many causes of stress throughout the divorce process that can negatively affect children. First, negative reactions and behaviors are dependent upon the situation before the divorce. Some studies show that how much parents fight, how it is done, how it is resolved, and what precautions are taken to protect the children from it's effects are the most important predictors of child adjustment (Kelly, 2000). Meaning that if children are exposed to fights about custody, money, or the failing marriage they could feel the repercussions of their parents conflict. Next, divorce can cause children to have heightened fear...
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
As with most life transitions, divorce can be liberating, depressing, frustrating, or traumatic to any person who experiences it. Perhaps the most painful part on the process of divorce is when the children get involved and when they all get trapped in the situation. These children may suffer significant losses in their lives and unless the situation can be handled in a civil manner, they will become prone to the psychological torment that could affect them for the rest of their lives. The issue of divorce however is becoming more and more intense since for the past ten years the divorce rate in the United States has skyrocketed to a record high of almost fifty- percent. It is also believed that the divorce rate in the United States is the highest in the world and the reason for this are primarily the ever-changing role of the husbands and wives in their household, early marriage, infidelity, extra marital affairs, domestic violence, financial instability and psychological incapacity.
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
Divorce, in history, has always been considered as a deviance of society. However, in the modern world, where people have senses of individualism, divorce has become a phenomenon. There are numerous reasons for divorce, from not knowing each other well enough before marriage, lack of money, long distance relationships, frequent disagreements to partners...
First and foremost, what brings upon a divorce? To begin, individuals believe they are rightfully made for one another. Then as each couple grows together, their
Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship. Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious.
However, the divorce rates trend to continually increase nowadays, thus it might be argued that divorces can take place easier than in the past. There are three main causes of divorce: changing women’s roles, stress in modern living and lack of communication, which are highlighted below. The first significant cause of the recent rise in the rates of divorce is that women completely change roles. In the past, men have to earn whole money to afford the expenses of family, whereas women only do housework, hence women have no money leading to depend on husbands’ money. Because of these situations, it is too difficult for most women to separate from their husbands.
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.