As I look at the ham sandwich sitting on the plate before me, I start to feel queasy with disgust. The slab of ham is laced with fat. The white solid stuff is just sitting there, taunting me. Daring me to eat it. The bread is stale, crumbling, falling apart. I know that as soon as I pick up the sandwich, the bread is going to disintegrate in my fingers, leaving me with nothing but the malicious ham. No, I think to myself. I will not eat this sandwich.
I just cannot bring myself to put this, this thing into my mouth. I know that if I make myself, I will only get it into my stomach, and then it would come right back up. I stand up and walk over to my kitchen sink. I open the cupboard door that is beneath, and I dump my sandwich into the garbage can. Now, I think to myself, what to do about lunch.
I walk over to the refrigerator and open the door. My eyes start scanning the shelves. Hmmm, no…no…yes! I will make myself a turkey sandwich. I like turkey. I like turkey a lot.
I take the turkey and set it on the counter. Then I grab the Buttermilk White bread, freshly made by my mom. She’s like Martha Stewart, you know. She grows the wheat herself. She uses some kind of mill we have in the back yard to grind it into flour. We have a cow. She milked it herself. Then she made the buttermilk to put into the bread. Anyway, that’s off the subject.
I take out two slices of bread and put them onto a wooden cutting board. I put a few thin slices of turkey onto one piece of bread. I then take the other piece and gently nestle it on top of the turkey. I put the sandwich onto a paper plate and take it to the table. I look at it and think to myself, job well done. But I can’t help thinking that I’m missing something. Oh yes! Miracle Whip.
I quickly jump up and run over to the refrigerator. You see, I’m very hungry by this time. I grab the jar of Miracle Whip. I run over to our silverware drawer and grab a butter knife. Taking the two things over to the table, I sit down. I delicately remove the top slice of bread, and apply a thin layer of Miracle Whip. Then I put the top slice of bread on the turkey. I pick up the sandwich and am just about to take a bite. Then I remember. I’m supposed to be eating a ham sandwich for this essay. Well, considering I don’t like ham, I won’t eat it. But…this essay is supposed to be about a ham sandwich. So, we’l...
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...he Buttermilk White bread. The food makes its way to the transverse colon and extra nutrients are released form the cellulose of the undigested particles. It continues on to the descending colon. There I start to manufacture vitamin K and other B-complex vitamins. Those are then absorbed into my large intestine.
The waste of my "ham" sandwich keeps going. The haustra removes any excess water that was not absorbed in my small intestine. It doesn’t have to do much work, because there is hardly any area for absorption. The waste then travels down my sigmoid colon to my rectum. There the waste, now called fecal matter (A.K.A. feces) is stored until I have enough to defecate through my anal sphincter.
That was only my the first bite of my "ham" sandwich. I have the rest of the sandwich to go. But I think my digestive system is a little screwed up. For most people, the whole digestion process takes quite a few days. The food stays in their stomach for up to eight hours, the small intestine for a long time, and in the large intestine for anywhere from three to five days. For me, this whole process took a little over five minutes. Mmmm, I’m looking forward to my second bite.