Determination - Original Writing

Determination - Original Writing

When I was younger, I thought of myself as a coward. I was afraid to

take risks, and for the most part went through life passively, often

regretting afterwards the chances I chose not to take. In the past few

years, however, I have undergone various experiences which have

negated that feeling of cowardice. The culmination of these

experiences came on September 19, 1999, as I hung roughly five

thousand feet over Perris Valley, and in that precarious position I

came to a realization.

Sky-diving: it is the true cliché of testing courage. The part of the

experience which is most difficult is also the simplest; it is merely

the action of taking a single step. But while the muscles allowing the

movement are not aware of the consequences of their actions, the mind

is, and getting my mind around that simple step is a challenge I was

never sure I could overcome.

I had been challenged before, sometimes by others, but most often by

myself, striving to break out of that feeling of cowardice. I began

testing myself as a direct response to the fear I had felt in other

situations and the regret which usually followed when I failed to

conquer that fear. I disliked being afraid, but I disliked even more

the way I thought of myself as I succumbed to that fear; as a result,

I would force myself to do whatever it was of which I was afraid.

While I had the idea somewhere in the back of my mind, however, I

never gave it direct thought. In each case wherein I made myself work

through my fear, whether I was snowboarding down a slope faster than

the last time, climbing a difficult rock without the safety of ropes,

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...ou thank you,

and it was accompanied by an intense exhilaration.

The second thought, also accompanied by exhilaration (this feeling

would pervade my thoughts for at least another hour) but more

coherent, was that I had done it. Despite the fear I had of jumping

out of a plane, I had stepped to the doorway and then beyond. I had

gotten past the fear and had beaten it. Never before had this conquest

been so apparent; skydiving had, in a single second, exemplified a

mental series of events which had never been so concise. The

experience had focused and defined my drive to overcome my fears, and

I realized that if I was able to conquer such a direct and immediate

fear, it was possible to conquer all others. Though it sounds like an

inspirational cliché, it had shown me that my determination was

stronger than my fear.