My plan of two years came crashing down last week, my dream of going to a six year medical program was denied. The criteria that I have and the criteria that the school emplaced did not match up. I had to many college credit hours for the fast track program which denied my access into my dream program. After receiving the heartbreaking email, I really began to think about my life. At first I was angry at myself for taking too many college classes, but then I began to see that it may have been the best thing to ever happen to me.
I have been dealing with this issue since I have graduated high school. I wanted to go to college, but there were a few things setting me back. I have bad anxiety being around a lot of people. When I went to orientation at Western Univerity, I was completely petrified and walked out. I applied a couple years later to another college but soon found out I was pregnant with my first child.
Why should I be friends with people who don’t even care to check in on me? That question lingered in my mind that whole week and weekend, when I finally realized that there are changes that come with high school and this was going to be one of them. They didn’t talk to me or try to figure out what was wrong, they moved on with their lives like I had never even been a part of them. I couldn’t sit around and waste away the rest of my year, hoping they would care about me again, so I was compelled to move on too. All the exciting ideas and plans we had made, I would experience with new people.
There are numerous of things to look forward to your senior year. Freedom, early dismissal, late arrival, homecoming week, college acceptance letters, and graduation. I was always reminded to be aware of this senior disease called senioritis, a case of laziness your senior year, but I was not told to be aware of tears and torture. The first day I walked through Ridge Spring Monetta High School doors as a senior, I felt like a target. Eyes turned into laser beams straight for my heart.
When my senior year came, and it was time to begin the process of sending in my applications for college, and I was not ready. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life at that point. My mother would pressure me everyday to start looking into colleges (In-state and out), and applying to the ones I liked. My parents had told me of some pretty places they had traveled through in Connecticut, Arizona, Washington, and Colorado. Taking their word for it, I applied to a few.
College Admissions : My experience To whom that cares!!! At this moment when I am sitting down here writing this, I suddenly think of this time last year when I was fresh out of high school, hearing about Berea for the first time. I sent my application to Berea with lots of confidence and hope, and I knew I was not accepted. College to me, as much as to many others, is so important. At the time I heard the news of my being denied, I was disappointed, but soon I realized that my failure was just among the many challenges that anybody has to face during their lifetime.
Heart Break After months and months of waiting for a decision, I had mentally come up with my own. The money didn’t seem as if it would come through for my brother and I to go to the private school my dad worked at, Hyde Park, so I was mentally prepared to stay at Cedar Park High School for the rest of my high school career. Everything seemed to be pointing at me staying there anyway, the guy I had been in love with since 7th grade asked to get back together the night before, this morning I had just run the Color Run with one of my best friends, and I had just finished hanging out with a group of my favorite people for a school project. It seemed as if God was calling me to stay at Cedar Park, and then when my mom came to pick me from my friends house, she said that one sentence that changed my life; “The money came through, welcome to Hyde Park.”
They still have not gotten over how I did not apply for any colleges. Everyday for the past two weeks at least one of them tells me the name of some college and then all of the majors available there. I have tried to tell them many times that I am still going to college, but not anytime in the near future. They saw my plan of traveling the world as an immature decision, but it is my decision. I had already planned everything out, my first stop and my last stop.
I had failed the reading FCAT since the third grade, during those years I thought that I wasn’t smart enough, that I would never get to graduate from high school without being left back, but it wasn’t until I started my 9th grade year, where I had finally been able to understand the material and concepts that I needed to pass. When I had finally finished going down memory lane, we were already at the stadium. As I was in the back waiting till the graduation started, I had talked to my friends and talked about what we would do during the summer and that we would hang out and keep in touch. Then it was time to start, the music started playing and one by one we walked. While I was walking I saw a glimpse of my mother’s face and knew that she was proud of me.
I was afraid to stay an extra year to obtain my second degree. I was scared that my great grandmother wouldn’t be able to see me graduate because as the years went by she got sicker. I was out here trying to focus on my education and my family wouldn’t tell me rather or not she was getting better or worse. They wanted me to stay focused on what was in front of me. I was supposed to graduate May 2015 with my degree in accounting but I decided not to be afraid and I picked up my degree in management with the mind set she would hang in for one more year.