Deborah Tannen's You Just Don T Understand

1375 Words3 Pages
bulb-icon

Recommended: Men and women gender role stereotypes

A loud gasp escaped as her mouth dropped. Her eyebrows elevated to the top of her head. Her eyes widened in shock as she became startled at the accident that just took place. It all started after I had a particular thought about taking a special girl in my life on a surprise dinner date. It took me several hours of extensive thinking about how to make this night memorable, as it was our two-year anniversary. I remember her telling me her favorite restaurant was La Cabaña in Tifton, Georgia, so I made a reservation for Friday at six o'clock in the evening. I was not prepared for the swift curve ball thrown at me during our date. After my experience on the date, I realized that my views started to clash with Deborah Tannen’s book “You Just Don’t Understand” that women focus more on intimacy and …show more content…

She gives a couple of examples to support her claim. Her first example was about a couple, Linda and Josh, who were concerned about the closeness of their relationship. Josh does not discuss his plans with Linda, as she would like him to (26). Another example that Tannen gives deals with another couple, Louise and Howie, who have a conflict about spending money. Louise cautiously spends her money along with discussing it with Howie. Howie, on the other hand, purchases anything he wants and can afford (27). After my date experience with Himani, I learned that I am not a guy who focuses on independence; therefore I disagree with Tannen’s claim. When I read Himani’s facial expression, I knew right away something was bothering her. Furthermore, I wanted her opinion on what to get my mother and sister for Christmas instead of deciding on my own. After spilling water on her, I wanted to make up for it instead of just apologizing. All of these events portray me wanting to connect with Himani making Tannen’s claim that men focus on independence

Show More
Related

  • Tannen's Argument

    1015 Words  | 3 Pages

    Tannen claims that men carefully choose their words to persuade women into doing as they want and need. Women give in too easily.

    Read More

  • Broken Lives by Estelle Blackburn

    320 Words  | 1 Pages

    The fourth Chapter of Estella Blackburn’s non fiction novel Broken lives “A Fathers Influence”, exposes readers to Eric Edgar Cooke and John Button’s time of adolescence. The chapter juxtaposes the two main characters too provide the reader with character analyses so later they may make judgment on the verdict. The chapter includes accounts of the crimes and punishments that Cooke contended with from 1948 to 1958. Cooke’s psychiatric assessment that he received during one of his first convictions and his life after conviction, marring Sally Lavin. It also exposes John Button’s crime of truancy, and his move from the UK to Australia.

    Read More

  • Deborah Landau's 'You Ve Got To Start Somewhere'

    1309 Words  | 3 Pages

    Deborah Landau’s “You’ve Got to Start Somewhere”, is a lyric poem that tells the story of a speaker realizing how much technology has changed the way we look at the world. It takes place in the city as the speaker is observing life around her, and realizing how disconnected people actually are from the world, this is ironic because all people want to do in this day and age is be connected. The speaker talks about the future of human relationships through nostalgia and urges for a change.

    Read More

  • Now You See It by Cathy Davidson

    1322 Words  | 3 Pages

    A video is put on, and in the beginning of this video your told to count how many times the people in the white shirts pass the ball. By the time the scene is over, most of the people watching the video have a number in their head. What these people missed was the gorilla walking through as they were so focused on counting the number of passes between the white team. Would you have noticed the gorilla? According to Cathy Davidson this is called attention blindness. As said by Davidson, "Attention blindness is the key to everything we do as individuals, from how we work in groups to what we value in our classrooms, at work, and in ourselves (Davidson, 2011, pg.4)." Davidson served as the vice provost for interdisciplinary studies at Duke University helping to create the Program in Science and Information Studies and the Center of Cognitive Neuroscience. She also holds highly distinguished chairs in English and Interdisciplinary Studies at Duke and has written a dozen different books. By the end of the introduction Davidson poses five different questions to the general population. Davidson's questions include, "Where do our patterns of attention come from? How can what we know about attention help us change how we teach and learn? How can the science of attention alter our ideas about how we test and what we measure? How can we work better with others with different skills and expertise in order to see what we're missing in a complicated and interdependent world? How does attention change as we age, and how can understanding the science of attention actually help us along the way? (Davidson, 2011, p.19-20)." Although Davidson hits many good points in Now You See It, overall the book isn't valid. She doesn't exactly provide answers ...

    Read More

  • Annie Murphy Paul's You Ll Never Learn !

    691 Words  | 2 Pages

    Just spending some time in the modern-day classroom; I have observed several students on their phones. During my high school years we did not have to worry about cell phones or laptops being a constant problem. In Annie Murphy Paul’s “You’ll Never Learn!” she explains the studies of multitasking while students do their homework with the modern-day distraction of the digital age; resulting in a lower quality of learning. I agree with Paul that the digital age is becoming a problem in education, even though educators are leaning towards teaching on a digital spectrum. In this essay, I will explain how a digital age versus a non-digital age is effecting everyone involved in a higher education.

    Read More

  • Dead Girls Don T Lie By Jennifer Shaw Wolf

    2011 Words  | 5 Pages

    The book “Dead Girls Don’t Lie” written by Jennifer Shaw Wolf focuses on a variety of different ideas and topics, mostly fixating the murder of the main character’s best friend Rachel. With this also comes gang violence, lost and found relationships, and the fact that some people will go to great extents in order to keep a lethal secret from the public eye. Rachel and Jaycee were best friends up until 6 months before where the book started. But, an altercation between them caused the breakup of their long lasted friendship. It is soon found out that Rachel was shot through her bedroom window, which is at first suspected to be gang violence. When Jaycee doesn’t answer her phone on the night Rachel was murdered, she received a text that circulates

    Read More

  • Dorianne Laux's What I Wouldn T Do

    575 Words  | 2 Pages

    It is safe to say that work comes in many different forms. Whether it be a fast food or a corporate, the people that surround an individual make a great impact on the way he or she may work. Singapore, by Mary Oliver, is about a young woman working as a custodian in an airport who although works alone, enjoys her work and the people she meets. Dorianne Laux’s What I Wouldn’t Do, introduces another young woman reviewing the jobs she has had throughout time and reflects on those that she liked and disliked. Hard Work, by Stephen Dunn, exemplifies a young boy working in a soda factory during his summer break. Searching for happiness in life and work is just what these individuals are doing.

    Read More

  • Women In The Article His Politeness Is Her Powerlessness?

    1086 Words  | 3 Pages

    Tannen states "Granted, women have Lower status than men in our society" rendering that Tannen knows about how today 's society sees women as the role follows the males. Tannen also describes the method on how women communicate is indirect while males are more direct. The significance of this is how Tannen later mentions an island of Madagascar

    Read More

  • Still Alice by Lisa Genova

    1265 Words  | 3 Pages

    Lisa Genova, the author of Still Alice, a heartbreaking book about a 50-year-old woman's sudden diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease, graduated valedictorian from Bates College with a degree in Biopsychology and holds a Ph.D. in Neuroscience from Harvard University. She is a member of the Dementia Advocacy, Support Network International and Dementia USA and is an online columnist for the National Alzheimer's Association. Genova's work with Alzheimer's patients has given her an understanding of the disorder and its affect not only on the patient, but on their friends and family as well (Simon and Schuster, n.d.).

    Read More

  • Dorothy Allison's This is Our World

    979 Words  | 2 Pages

    In her work, “This is Our World,” Dorothy Allison shares her perspective of how she views the world as we know it. She has a very vivid past with searing memories of her childhood. She lives her life – her reality – because of the past, despite how much she wishes it never happened. She finds little restitution in her writings, but she continues with them to “provoke more questions” (Allison 158) and makes the readers “think about what [they] rarely want to think about at all” (158).

    Read More

  • Alone Together by Sherry Turkle

    809 Words  | 2 Pages

    The novel, Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other (2011) written by Sherry Turkle, presents many controversial views, and demonstrating numerous examples of how technology is replacing complex pieces and relationships in our life. The book is slightly divided into two parts with the first focused on social robots and their relationships with people. The second half is much different, focusing on the online world and it’s presence in society. Overall, Turkle makes many personally agreeable and disagreeable points in the book that bring it together as a whole.

    Read More

  • Analysis Of Sex Lies And Conversation

    1181 Words  | 3 Pages

    Tannen believes that men and women are cross cultural when it comes to conversation. While analyzing basic conversation, Tannen primarily focuses on married couples and marriage, in general. Whether implied or not, Tannen fails to deliver enough credible scientific research to inform the audience of her opinions and viewpoints. Tannen begins her argument explaining a personal experience with a married couple which she invited to a group meeting that she held. Tannen uses this dependable experience to confirm that American men talk more than women in public, and usually talk less at home. Tannen uses the word “crystallizes”, to display the accuracy of her research through this personal discovery. Tannen states, “This episode crystallizes the irony that although American men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home” (239). Tannen presents research as if a female is the only gender to, “crave communication” in a relationship, giving no background information to support this theory. Deborah Tannen gives numerous personal accounts of issues married couples seem to have, but hardly giving actual scientific

    Read More

  • Creative Writing: Glenwood Pool

    1171 Words  | 3 Pages

    On the way home, tears of frustration again stung my eyes. There was no stopping them. Another "being stood up" mark was added to the ever growing list. This one had pierced my heart and the resolve of my soul was to never date again. Thus, the book of dating was slammed shut and the key sank to the bottom of the pool.

    Read More

  • Treatment Of Women In Medea

    757 Words  | 2 Pages

    She tells of the risks involved in marriage, the possibility of being essentially sold off to some monster, the dangers of child birth, and the shame should a woman be unable to conceive and then be returned to her family. Within this she speaks of how women’s fears and wants are seen as frivols and vain. Women’s fears and desires are often mocked and ridiculed today as well. Women complaining about catcalling are told they are ungrateful and should be glad to receive compliments, even though these “compliments” are often unwanted advances that cause women to fear sexual violence and that they are merely objects. It’s also not uncommon for people to ridicule women for complaining about pregnancy, even though it is a long, uncomfortable, painful and sometimes dangerous term that permanently change a woman’s

    Read More

  • Me and My Life by Shelly Kagan

    1066 Words  | 3 Pages

    An individual’s welfare can be explained as their state of contentment that can be achieved throughout one’s life. Increasing this state of well-being can be obtained by pursuing and gaining what is intrinsically good for the individual. Experientialism states that subjective experiences are the sole things which are intrinsically good and capable of promoting welfare in individuals. The plausibility of this view arises from the fact that we desire experiences not just for their instrumental benefits, but because they are good ‘in and of themselves’. This view has faced some fervent opposition though, most strongly in the form of Nozick’s Experience Machine. Robert Nozick conveys that experiences are not the only things that are intrinsically good and that we desire genuine connections to reality as well. In response to this, I will present Shelly Kagan’s argument that genuine connections to reality are unrelated to an individual’s welfare and therefore, cannot contribute to the well-being of an individual and Experientialism remains standing as a strong philosophical theory.

    Read More

More about Deborah Tannen's You Just Don T Understand

Open Document