From a young age, we have heard the phrase “men are from Mars, and women are from Venus,” but exactly how much truth does this adage hold? Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University, sought to solve this question in her book You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, from which the excerpt “How Male and Female Students Use Language Differently” is taken. In this, Tannen analyzes how men and women behave in the classroom, and classifies the distinct behaviors that she noted into male and female conversational styles. The male style, as the author describes it, resembles a competition in which two or more parties vie to get the upper hand, and win the argument. In contrast, the female style contains more relational …show more content…
During my sophomore year of high school, I was put into a world history class. My teacher was a big fan of current events. Often, our class started with him telling a story of an important event that had happened the day before. Following that, he initiated a conversation between himself and the class, often asking for our opinions on the topic. We were all encouraged to speak up in front of the class at least some of the time, and many of us did. Yes, there were a select few that tended to speak up more than others, but it was more equally dispersed than in other classes. This is because our teacher made it clear that whatever our thoughts were on a specific subject, it was acceptable to voice them. In fact, we often did not know what our thoughts were on a topic, and it was okay to say that too. As long as we were contributing to the conversation in some way, the class ran smoothly. The environment that the teacher had created was perfect for encouraging students, especially those who usually did not speak out, to do so. Furthermore, he made it clear that no one’s views were more important than another student’s. It did not matter whether the student was male or female, as Tannen might believe, the encouraging climate that my teacher had created led to the participation of nearly every …show more content…
In the previous example, I noted how my teacher taught us that all opinions were equal. This, beyond encouraging some students to talk, also eliminated the statuses of the class. Statuses extend far beyond the roles of teacher and student, especially in high school. Students will, depending on how they see themselves in the hierarchy of the class, speak out more or less to fit those roles. For example, if a student sees him or herself as a bookworm, it is likely that student will answer more questions than if he or she was seen as an athlete. In school, I was dubbed “the smart kid.” As such, I was expected to earn the highest test grades, take the best notes, and speak out more in class. We have all had that moment in a class when the teacher asks a question and then waits for an answer. Unless there is a quick reply, an awkward silence usually ensues. I can distinctly remember a few of these times when people would turn to look at me, hoping I could provide some relief from the uncomfortable state of the room. They did this because it was my “job.” My status dictated that I have the answer to most every question in order to avoid that silence. If, instead, my status was class clown, just to name an example, I would have been expected to crack a joke every so often. It is easy to see, through these examples, that
Both Ronald Morrish and Craig Seganti have been educators for many years and have subsequently developed their theories over many years of teaching. Both believe that it’s important first to establish the belief in students that the educator has the authority and is in command. Morrish and Seganti both also stress the importance of establishing rules and teaching students how to comply with those rules. For instance, Morrish and Seganti assert that it’s critical to practice appropriate classroom rules. Both also agree that it’s important only to make rules that you’re absolutely willing to enforce and that students should not be involved in creating these rules. Moreover, Morrish and Seganti also have similar perspectives regarding how self-esteem
She begins the chapter by explaining the importance of invisibility in the classroom. “Don’t be too noticeable is the rule” that is commonly known by most students (91). She elaborates by explaining that a student should not add new information into a conversation yet ask a question that would concern all students about upcoming work or tests. Later in the chapter, she highlights that the instructor 's main role in the classroom is “getting [students] to say something” because students felt pressured into remaining silent (94). This pressure came from personal self-doubt and the desire to not be defined as unintelligent. In conclusion to these points, Nathan states that “despite official assertions about the university as a free marketplace of ideas, the classroom doesn’t often work that way in practice” (95). In addition to in class discussions being intellectually weak, conversations outside of class rarely involved academics, but when academics were mentioned, there was a limited set of a few questions like “‘Did you do the reading for today?’ and ‘Did we have anything due today?’” (96). She explains that no students ever asked question about how interesting assignments were because they “weren’t acceptable or normative topics to introduce” while outside the classroom (96). Based on the lack of intellectual discussions in and out of class, Nathan concluded that academics play a minor role in the life of
A student and teacher should be able to openly communicate or discuss the content and/or topic in class. To begin the educating process, one must set the correct tone and setting for it. Education is supposed to be an “experience”. An experience is supposed to engage all that are involved in it. “That every reader, everyone engaged in any teaching or learning practice, explicitly wonders about his or her work as teacher or pupil, in mathematics, history, biology, or grammar classes, is of little importance. That as teacher or pupil in the experience of the critical instruction in content that all explicitly engage a “reading of the world” that would be of a political nature, is not of the highest necessity” (Freire 49). ...
According to the article, "Neither a Wallflower Nor a Paris Geller Be" (Rebecca Schuman, Slate Magazine, 14 Oct 14), in order to be a successful student, class participation is the key aspect of college students. Schuman explains that the class participation is not a competition. In fact, the purpose of class involvement is to experiment new idea, share thought and discuss the subject matter. Although some students may feel uncomfortable to participate, Schuman recommended that students should take part in the class. Moreover, Schuman shares her personal experience of teaching and dealing with different genres of students. She hopes that her intended audience will learn a lesson about the importance of class participation. Her views are very
In her book Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black, bell hooks describes how she helps her students find their voice within her classroom.She discusses her use of authority to enable her students.For her, teacher authority is a necessary part of helping her students find their voices:
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
In her article “But What Do You Mean” Deborah Tannen, claims that there is a huge difference in the style of communicating between men and women. Tannen breaks these down into seven different categories; apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. With each of these she compares men to women by explaining the common misconceptions that each of the genders do. The different style of communication can cause some problems at the workplace and even affect the environment. The different styles of communication has been around forever and almost becomes a “ritual”(299). Tannen is effective with mainly women and not men. She is primarily successful with women due to the fact that her tone targets women, also the organization
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
In the introduction of Deborah Tannen’s “Conversation Style: Talking on the Job”, she compares and contrasts the ways men and women communicate. This reminds me of what I tell people that are struggling in their relationships. Women and men express themselves differently. Women think, but men act. If you can’t wrap your head around this, being in a relationship with anyone is going to be hard. Yet, this is such a basic way of looking at this issue. Not only are the genders vastly different, but each person relates to the world around them in a certain way. He or she also needs to be related to in a specific way. Looking at personalities and personal histories can give a better look at the way we communicate with each other. Tannen examines
In her essay titled “It Begins at the Beginning”, professor of linguistics Deborah Tannen describes how girls’ and boys’ communication and language patterns differ from an early age. Tannen’s essay, which is adapted from her book titled You Just Don’t Understand, she states that in the world of communication boys and girls have vast differences, which makes itself apparent in the way that they play. The author backs this up with two explanations. First, is that people not only talk to boys and girls differently, but also accept different ways of talking from them. Second, children learn communication not only from their parents but also from their peers, and there are major differences in the way boys and girls play together and speak to each other.
Lieberman, Simma. “Differences in Male and Female Communication Styles” Simma Lieberman Associates (undated). Retrieved February 25, 2010<
Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don't Understand : Women And Men In Conversation / Deborah Tannen. n.p.: New York : Morrow, c1990., 1990. Valdosta State University GIL Catalog. Web. 3 Mar. 2014.
Sharing my experience and getting feedback from my classmates helped me to recognize how my thoughts could affect other people and the most important part for me that I could hear how they think about my beliefs. Because of our instructor’s calmness, we all felt free to talk and share our beliefs with each other. Also, getting group support which in my opinion is one of the most powerful support of the world, has been very precious for me since the beginning of the program. My cohort encouraged me to share my opinion even though sometimes it was totally differ than their own. Respecting and freedom of speech were two other things that I have experienced in our discussion as
Tannen, D. (2007). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York, NY: Harper.
The book An Intorduction of Sociolinguistics is an outstanding introductary book in the field of sociolinguistics. It encompasses a wide range of language issues. In chapter 13, Wardhaugh provides a good insight to the relationship between language and gender. He explains gender differences of language-in-use with concise examples. Wardhaugh riases questions about sexist language and guides readers to look closer at how people use language differently because of their own gender in daily life. According to the Whorfian hypothesis, which indicates that the way people use language reflects their thoughts, different genders adapt different communication strategies.