Death, Love, and the Meaning of Life

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The phone call ended. Time seemed to jump out of the unvarying sequence that it had previously honored so meticulously. The clamor in the next room matched the jumble of thoughts within my head. Was I to sullenly address the party of this room, and receive drunken and inevitably half-hearted sympathy? Of course not. I started towards the exit, only to be addressed moments later by a familiar sounding female voice.
“Where are you going?” it asked. So many words and feelings flowed through me that I could not find anything to say, nor the courage to turn ever so slightly and identify the face of this voice.
I managed to reply, “nowhere,” and promptly departed.
What was I to make of my situation? I no longer had a parent to call who I could report to, and who would undeniably find a way to address my sorrow in a comforting manner. Both had been removed from my life in a matter of seconds... a minute earlier, I was experiencing the “joy” of superfluous consumption and bland social interaction, which I may have still been participating in had I ignored the phone call like I almost did. But I answered it, and my life quickly yet permanently changed; I was unsure of how to react. I exited the monstrous steel structure, then was faced with a shortness of breath that I often experienced when engaged in this introspection, which was now impossible to end. However, I managed to respire, my eyes still guided my path, and my legs continued to follow it. The only sensible conclusion I could reach was that despite my newfound loneliness and lack of guidance, I was still here.
My response to the unknown girl refreshed itself in my mind. As I walked aimlessly away from the meaningless social gathering I had just attended, far y...

... middle of paper ...

...I could do at all about this life that I was born meaninglessly into. The facts of existence could not be changed.
I walked over to the refrigerator and surveyed the mosaic of memories on the door. The surge of emotion that ensued caused me to burst into tears once again. These were the facts of my existence, I realized... as I thought more about my human condition, and the words that Allison so passionately said to me the previous night, I truly began to perceive my life as an adventure, and I recognized that my parents’ death was largely responsible for shaping the style with which I would venture out unknowingly, yet enthusiastically, into the world. The thought of Allison lingered in my mind; I vowed never to extinguish this growing inner inferno. Inhaling deeply, I set out to expand my mosaic, and prepared for the experiences that were to define my life.

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