Summary
Ideas that Dr. Deal will express in his book, Dating and the Single Parent are based around blended families. Dr. Deal is an advocate for first marriage reconciliation but believes blended families need more help. “Balancing your desire for love with kids’ need for stability and emotional safety is tough” (Deal, 2012, p. 25). In Dr. Deal’s introduction he expressed that dating is hard if you are newly single, but even harder if newly single with kids. The natural course that Dr. Deal explains is more of a non-competitive family. Marriage with children can be competitive from children and new spouses unless handled properly. Children do not always need a new mother or father to make a family whole. This idea Dr. Deal expresses is not a good reason to look for a mate.
Dr. Deal gives us the reader a synopsis of how single parents with children look at dating. Many single parents have become me daters, what kids! When single parents look for future mates they have a tendency to look for the fairy tale ending and their soul mate, or who can make them feel warm and fuzzy inside forgetting that a person’s values especially those you intend to take around your children need intensive scrutiny. In this book, Dr. Deal wants single parents really to understand the impact their decisions have on their children, and seek God’s wisdom.
God’s involvement in dating is threefold, “walk humbly with God with a common heart, faith, value system, and approach to life. Love the person sacrificially without reservation, and trust that they will do the same for you; and if the children involved in your union would be graced by your common commitment to the Lord and combined families” (Deal, 2012, p. 33).
Dr. Deal also expresses that b...
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...ldren not to have to choose between a parent and stepparent.
“Learning to rely on God; gaining a deeper spiritual life. Keeping change to a minimum, there are already enough changes for your children to adjust to. Becoming mature sooner, being alone is a chance to grow up and function as an adult. Living out God’s first choice, taking the time to hear what God wants for our lives. Bonding more closely with your children; without a spouse or partner your relationship with your children many become deeper and fuller” (Frisbie & Frisbie, 2006, p. 165).
Works Cited
Butterworth, B. (2005). New Life after Divorce: The promise of Hope Beyond the Pain. Colorado Springs: WaterBrook Press.
Deal, R. L. (2012). Dating and the Single Parent. Bloomington: Bethany House.
Frisbie, D., & Frisbie, L. (2006). Moving Forward After Divorce. Eugene: Harvest House Publishers.
Dating back to the early 1900’s and all the way through to the present, romantic relationships have been viewed differently. From strict unwritten dating regulations to not having regulations at all, recent generations have become more liberated in making their own decisions. The progressing times have made us become a more accepting society and have caused a decrease in the strong practice of religion and class. Even though differences such as religion and class in relationships were more than an issue they were not always a complete deterrence.
Rich, P., and Schwartz, L. L. The Healing Journey Through Divorce: Your Journal of Understanding and Renewal. New York: John Wiley, 1999.
Archives are filled with articles focused on the outcomes of children raised in single parent homes versus children raised in the nuclear family setting. The subject is highlighted in mass volumes throughout various internet blog forums, newspaper articles, and popular magazines detailing the statistical data and reputed points of view on the outcomes of the subject. Countless bloggers provide substantial personal testimonies highlighting both ends in the debate, while giving readers an inside-look at this situation from all different walks of life. Developing this issue into a broader context, we as the readers have to consider the magnitude of the issue and ask ourselves, “In concern with the betterment of my family, which lifestyle could I possibly adopt to ensure that my children are adequately socialized and prepped for life outside the parental structure?” However, this is not a question that requires a prognosis from a prominent sociologist; in fact, children raised in single parent families are just as capable at success as children raised in the traditional family setting.
...gment on whether or not their child is ready for dating. The parents need to be able to have confidence that their child will make right, proper, and wise decisions while dating (Bruinsma).
In present time dads share with mothers the same level of emotional response to new-born babies and are just as sensitive and affectionate when looking after their babies (Secunda, 1992). Today more than half of all children are raised by single mothers and twenty eight percent of children are raised in single parent homes. Fathers are now the main care givers for children when mothers are working. In thirty percent of dual earner families, it is now the father more than any other individual, who cares for children when the mother is at work. If it proves true that daughters search for romantic partners like t...
In 1990, seventy-one percent of sixty-four million American children lived in a two parent household. Fifty-eight percent lived with their biological parents. Since the 1970s, there has been a huge increase in the amount of children living with single or divorced mothers. This only is right considering the increase in single women having children, although not all of those women don’t have a significant other. Currently 7.3 percent of children live with an unmarried parent, 9.1 percent live with a divorced parent and 7.4 percent live with a separated or widowed parent. Every year since the 1970s, over one million children have been affected by divorce (Shino and Quinn). Nowadays every where you look, someone has divorced parents. It could be your own parents, your best friend’s parents, your classmate’s parents or even your teacher. In 1988, fifteen percent of children lived with a separated or divorced parent, while 7.3 million more children lived with a stepparent. It is estimated that almost half of the babies born today will spend a portion of their life living in a one-parent family (Shino and
Single parenting numbers increase each year. In America there is almost fourteen million single parents raising about thirty-two million children, twenty six percent are under twenty one years of age. Eighty-two percent of single parents are mothers and about eighteen percent are fathers (“Single Parent Statistics-Average Single Parent Statistics”).There are a lot of stereo types about single parents, most of which are untrue, but some can be true also. Single parenting is becoming more common in this generation, and it’s not just because of one reason. There are many reasons these days that there are single parents.
Wallerstein, J. S., & Lewis, J. M. (2004). The unexpected legacy of divorce: Report of a 25-year study. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 21(3), 353-370.
The Family structure has changed significantly in the last fifty years. With higher percentages of marriage ending in divorce, and higher rates of childbearing out of wedlock, single parent families are increasing rapidly. “Seventy percent of all the children will spend all or part of their lives in a single-parent household.” (Dowd) Studies have shown that the children of these families are affected dramatically, both negatively and positively. Women head the majority of single- parent families and as a result, children experience many social problems from growing up without a father. Some of these problems include lack of financial support, and various emotional problems by not having a father around, which may contribute to problems later in life. At the same time, children of single-parent homes become more independent because they learn to take care of themselves, and rely on others to do things for them.
When couples become parents, the first thing on their minds should be on how they will work as a team. Most parents will never choose to parent alone unless it was necessary. According to Zartler (2014), single-parenting has been a strongly pronounced trend in family behavior. Many families are single-parenting households. There are a lot of reasons that can cause a household to become a single-parenting household, and the most common reason is divorce. Most marriages just do not work out and this can cause a lot of stress within the family. There is a lot of hardships that can come with divorce including financial risks. Also, how the children will react can be hard as well. Most parents who are single parents can have a harder time dealing with the financial costs then parents that are married. There can definitely be negative impacts on single-parenting
It has been said, children from two-parent families are better off. The setting is also a factor to take into consideration. The increase in single- parent homes has had an extensive and negative effect on children’s development. 50% of marriages end in divorce. We have young people with young minds having children, they can hardly take care of themselves at the age of 21, yet they have decided to bring four children into this world to be raised by one parent. In some communities, majority of the children are being raised by a single parent. Statistics have shown that children raised in a healthy single parent home have more problems emotionally, psychologically, in school, and with the law than those raised in healthy two-parent homes. No matter how good a single parent is, that a single parent can NEVER do for the child how two present, committed, parent partners share and work together; communicate together and solve problems together as equals.
Single parenting results from the death of a partner, divorce or even a break-up of a couple which leaves one with the responsibilities of being a single parent. According to the American Psychological Association (2017), cases of single parenting have increased for the past two decades, and is seen today more than ever before. The latter ranges from a family headed by a father or mother alone and in some cases a grandparent taking care of the grandchildren. In a single-parent household, life can prove stressful for both the adults and the children, and children in these circumstances are prone to a life of crime.
...ent to be able to nurture up a child in the right way by being a single parent. If the parent can build a strong foundation for the child, then consider that parent to be special and blessed because single parenting is not a walk in the park.
This article is written to help you, single parents, realize that your children love you and if you are going to find another spouse or feel guilty, you are not going anywhere. Yo have to comprehend that single parents do not have to have a mate to make your kids
For many years, children growing up in a single parent family have been viewed as different. Being raised by only one parent seems impossible to many yet over the decades it has become more prevalent. In today’s society many children have grown up to become emotionally stable and successful whether they had one or two parents to show them the rocky path that life bestows upon all human beings. The problem lies in the difference of children raised by single parents versus children raised by both a mother and a father. Does a child need both parents? Does a young boy need a father figure around? Does the government provide help for single parents? What role do step-parents and step-siblings play? With much speculation, this topic has become a very intriguing argument. What people must understand is that properly raising a child does not rely on the structure of a family but should be more focused on the process