Dating During the Teenage Years
Alas, the teenage years. They are years so full of life, emotion, changes, and new information. Filled with homework, football, video games, music, and of course…dating! Ah yes, the age-old ritual of dating…or is it? You know, dating really isn't that old. It started somewhere around the 1920's, when our modern-day culture was starting to move more towards and attitude of the here-and-now. Everybody's mindset became more geared toward instant gratification. After dating became more common and widely accepted in our nation, many problems started arising in relationships. Divorce rates started to soar and pop music began singing songs about broken hearts (Harris, 1997). Is this ritual of dating the cause for all these problems? If so, then as Christians, should we abandon our society's mating rituals and declare dating wrong or evil? This is the question that has puzzled me for many years, and so I now write on what my research into this controversial topic has thus far concluded.
Before dating came into existence, there were a variety of different cultural approaches to marriage. Two of the most widely used have been courtship and arranged marriages. Courtship is where a young man, or possibly an older man, goes to the father of a girl that he knows to ask his permission to begin courting his daughter with the intent of marrying her. You couldn't just court one person and then if it didn't work out, break up and move on to the next person. Once you courted someone, you didn't back out. You only courted if you intended to marry. Arranged marriages were totally different. In an arranged marriage, you had little to no say-so upon whom you would marry. Parents of one child got together with parents of another child and made the arrangements for their children to marry (Harris, 1997).
So why does our culture do this dating thing? To answer that question, I think we first need to look at our need as humans for intimacy. From the beginning of time, since God gave us the gift of life, we have this need for a companion. "And God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone…so He made a woman, and brought her unto man"" (Gen. 2:18a, 22b ASB). You see, we have this drive instilled in us that drives us toward intimacy with another human being. In order to do that, our society has come up with this system of dating.
Wealth and family status was a determining factor upon marriage. Women were expected to have a dowry from their family that would allow them to be auctioned off to suitors. The marriage market was much like the stock exchange in that it allowed
Dating back to the early 1900’s and all the way through to the present, romantic relationships have been viewed differently. From strict unwritten dating regulations to not having regulations at all, recent generations have become more liberated in making their own decisions. The progressing times have made us become a more accepting society and have caused a decrease in the strong practice of religion and class. Even though differences such as religion and class in relationships were more than an issue they were not always a complete deterrence.
When it comes to dating, we like to put our attention on seeing the fun and attractive side of them. Sometimes when we fall for our partner, we may believe how much they have or how much money they earn doesn’t matter because we may be in the stage of “are they the one?” (Leavy, 2013). You have the right mind set if you believe money shouldn’t matter, but the harsher truth is social class does affect our romantic relationship. If you and your partner grew up in different economic environments, you should be aware of the difference because they may have taken life so easily to appreciate that may cause you to feel uncomfortable because you may have had to struggle for it (Jezebel, 2015).
Currently, by definition and tradition, we are living in an American society that sees itself as predominantly monogamous. However, this monogamous society has increasingly been filled with cheating, unfaithful, and overall promiscuous individual. As of today, 57% of American males and 54% of American females, admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve (Glass) So what exactly happen to the ideology of monogamy in America? What has happen to the system of having only one partner at any specific time? Is monogamy really dying, or is it already six feet under in today’s society? Some may argue that America was never truly a monogamous society and thus monogamy isn’t dying but merely less represented. On the other hand, people argue that one can do as they please and if being in a non-monogamous relationship makes them happy, to each their own. My own view is that monogamy is facing a dying role in American culture. Non-monogamous practices have grown to become a visible part of today’s American society. This paper will look at why monogamy is important, the reason it’s dying and why it needs to be placed back in the spotlight.
Entering a high school today, one might not see too many relationships, but one thing one might see is that the people in a relationship care about dating for a significant amount of time. The teenage culture of the 1950’s believed “going steady was a sign of popularity,” and the popular kids dated each other (Bailey 140). In Rebel Without a Cause, Judy, who is the dominant female of her group
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
The two types of dating are very different in many ways. The worldly way is enjoyable, but can cause many consequences while the godly way has more restrictions, but can lead to a happier and more successful love life. Therefore, it is the reader that must decide for him or herself what is better. Dating is a serious matter either way. In general we must make sure we have healthy relationships. Having a healthy relationship includes maintaining good communication, resolving conflicts in an orderly and friendly way, but also getting past the hurt of past relationships (Robinson). Following a healthy relationship can lead to memories of happiness with the one you are in love with.
Arranged marriages have been around for a while and they still are. In some countries arranged marriages are actually tradition but it is wrong to arrange a marriage for necessity instead of love. Did you know that arranged marriages can be annulled? You can legally annul your arranged marriage with a legal court session. With arranged marriages, you hurt your children more than help them. By marrying them at a young age, they don't get much education. Arranged Marriages are cruel because people deserve the choice of who they marry and a chance of love.
Dating and marriage is not always how the movies picture it to be. It can be a complicated entanglement that is a special part of one’s life at the same time. Reality imposes a lot of true questions in relationships, which must be figured out in order for the relationship to thrive. Here is my take on dating and marriage for my life.
Marriages were arranged. Because girls lived such sheltered lives, they usually had never even met the men their fathers agreed for them to marry. Men were mostly in their twenties when they got married, the girls were usually 15.
These questions arise from our own desires as Christians to reflect a biblically sound attitude towards sexuality and relationships. That same desire to act according to biblical scriptures is subject to opposition from today’s culture and views about sexual relationships, gender, and roles. A new definition of marriage, sexual orientation, and sexual practices is challenging our relationship with God and our view of human sexuality. Bishop John Spong defines sex and its impact on relationships: “Sex can be called at once the greatest gift to humanity and the greatest enigma of our lives. It is a gift in that is a singular joy for all beings and enigma in its destructive potential for people and their relationships.” (Spong, 1988)
To date or not to date that is the question. The real question is to date a lot of different girls or not to date, and just have one girlfriend. Well there are a few things that are the same but many more differences. If I have a girlfriend or not I can go on dates. Both dating and not dating can be a lot of fun. Also they both can be a challenge, because either way you have to make someone else happy. But there are a lot more differences between the two.
Dating use to be simple. Two people get to know each other, go on a few dates, and then one day they decide to be boyfriend and girlfriend. However, this doesn't seem to be the case anymore. The term “Dating” is getting used less every day. Dating is a thing of the past because it takes a longer process for two people to determine if they are ready to commit, the term “talking” has replaced the word dating, and because people don't stay fully committed to one person anymore.
Are relationships in high school truly worth the potential heartache? Answers to this question vary, ranging from the enthusiastic “yes!” to the skeptical view of which cutting off one’s own third toe makes more sense to indifference. Yet, how can the value of a relationship be determined when the tumult of everyday teenage life may result in the potential loss or gain of a new relationship every week? One view may be relationships teenagers enter into are valuable practice for later in life, teaching those which engage in them how to interact with members of the opposite sex in a way which leads to marriage or family. Others, however, state the truism being a significantly low percentage of high school romances result in marriage. Although some may say the benefits outweigh the risks, relationships in high school are not feasible for many and may not be worth the effort put into them.
Marriages. Not only do couples get together and take vows to live together, but their families build a lifelong bond. On the other hand, in Western society arranged marriages are not common in the daily life; that is, the point of love is meant to be found, not arranged. In the West, love is to find someone whereby the couple will spend the rest of their life together. According to Hai, Thu a Vietnamese author, arranged marriages are the method whereby the parents find someone for that person; they are deciding if he or she is fit for the position.