Coping With Father's Death

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Three years ago, on December 14, I awoke to the sound of a man with an unfamiliar voice. He sat very awkward on my couch, as if he was in discomfort. His palms were wet with sweat as he tried to stutter words out. While my mother, sister and I sat there nervously awaiting what news this man brought, he came out of nowhere and said it. His words cut through me like a knife and the whole would just seemed to stop. He explained that my father had been in a mining accident and they had not been able to find him. Lost for words, I tried to comfort my family and tell them that he is going to be all right.

After my mother call all the family and close friends, most of them showed up, and it just began to get worse. All this crying and mourning just didn't seem to be right. I went to my bedroom to try to figure this all out. I talked into the air, trying to explain to my father that he had to be ok "you can't go away, things just started getting better", I yelled over and over. I was angry with God for causing all of this pain to our family and friends. I didn't understand why people had to have such pain and suffering. I had lost my way, and this was what my heart told me to do. I remembered my father always telling me to grow up and to be a man. I tried to hold all the pain in and comfort my family. Before I knew it, there were groups of people showing up with flowers and gifts saying they were sorry and they knew our pain. "Do they really know our pain?" I thought to myself.

I didn't know of any of them who had lost their father, best friend, and the only person they could really trust all at once. None of the words that they said seemed to make any sense. They tried to preach their words of wisdom and tell me that I had all thos...

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...stand why we had to be here in this position. As the pastor began to talk, all the words just seemed to blur together and all I could focus on is one picture: it was the picture of my family. I knew that we would never have another picture together, and we will never have another memory to spend with all of us again.

I think I am starting to understand the reason for why humans have such pain and loneliness. I realize all great things must come to an end and we don't know when, why. Or how, but they do. It seems to be a great test of strength within yourself to see if you will fight through it or just give up. It is amazing how it takes something so extreme, as a death, for people to realize what they have. I learned the value of a day, and the value of a life. Whether it is your father or just an acquaintance you have to wake up and treat it the same regardless.

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