Exploring the Correlation of Sexual Lifestyles including Polyamory, Swinging, BDSM, and Open Relationships with Self-Esteem Often when people hear of individuals or couples who engage in relationships such as those that comprise consensual non-monogamies (CNM) they think of the relationships as inherently flawed and less valuable and as the individuals as damaged and lacking self-esteem. However, much research thus far refutes these beliefs. Rather, individuals who engage in CNM have similar qualities to monogamous individuals. Moreover, CNM relationships have characteristics that are typically considered healthy traits in monogamous relationships. There are various forms of consensual non-monogamies including polyamory, swinging, bondage-discipline/dominance-submission/sadism-masochism …show more content…
Moors, Conley, Edelstein, & Chopik (2015) explored the relationship between attachment and CNM. The researchers found that while avoidant individuals who were not currently in a CNM relationship held positive views of CNM they were less likely to actually be in a CNM with a negative correlation of -.27. The perceived psychological and physical distance from romantic partners may explain why, hypothetically, avoidant individuals prefer CNM. However, CNM may require open and honest communication which is congruent with a secure attachment rather than an avoidant attachment. Anxious individuals appeared to have mixed emotions when thinking about hypothetical CNM relationships, but they were no more likely to be in a CNM relationship than a monogamous relationship. Anxious individuals may be able to see both the good and bad in a CNM relationship such as the prospect of affection from many partners, but also the risk of abandonment. Since there was not a significant correlation at .04 it may be that anxiety is not as an important role in relationship configurations as it was believed to be. Therefore, it appears as though individuals in CNM relationships can have secure attachments similar to those in monogamous …show more content…
Jenks in 1998 reviewed the literature on swingers and found that studies supported swingers having an above average income and education. The swinging lifestyle is often kept a secret in order to maintain privacy. Rubin (2001) found that those who engage in CNM are stable, privileged, and ordinary. In order to withstand the stress involved in maintaining a secret lifestyle it requires that the individuals be stable and ordinary. This stability was confirmed by Vaillancourt (2006). Again, these traits are associated with higher self-esteem. Researchers have found that there is a link between both education and wages with self-esteem (de Araujo & Lagos, 2013). Individuals with higher self-esteem are more likely to pursue further education, be employed, and earn more income than those with lower
Monogamy does not imply fidelity (Fisher 63), and marriage does not imply monogamy. To understand this surprising statement, the word "monogamy" must be interpreted in a biological sense, and marriage in a legal sense. In other words, monogamy is just two people in a relationship for their mutual benefit, perhaps involving an extended family and children. Monogamy does not necessarily mean a life-long relationship, but it can, nor does it exclude occasional philandering. It is monogamy as long as two people maintain a pair-bond for their mutual benefit, no matter how short the relationship lasts. Marriage, on the other hand, legally recognizes many different mating systems from monogamy to polygamy.
Monogamy is a cultural norm that dominates many modern societies, and when individuals engage in monogamous relationships, they are unconsciously conforming to historical and cultural legacies of what is perceived as love that predate their illusions of personal agency. Although anthropological records indicate that 85% of human societies have tended towards polygamy (Henrich, Boyd and Richerson 2012), the modern culture of monogamy has rapidly risen and spread in the past millennium (Senthilingam 2016). This demonstrates how an individual’s conception of a heterosexual relationship as normatively monogamous has been constructed by social forces. In addition, social forces in the form of state legislation also perpetuate and reinforce an individual’s conception of what a romantic relationship should entail. Monogamous heterosexual marriage remains to be the only form of marriage with legal recognition in many countries. An individual’s belief that a romantic relationship should culminate in marriage is hence not formed through independent thought, but rather through what is considered normative by law. Essentially, “marriage is not an instinct but an institution.” (Berger 1963, 88) because it is enabled and promoted by virtue of the law. In addition, many couples believe in
According to the Adult Attachment Style questionnaire, my attachment style fell under the secure region. Which indicates that people that fall under this style tend to keep satisfying relationships with their partners. It seems appropriate, and I agree wit...
The first stage of the cycle is the man experiences rejection by his current partner. The past experience of rejection by the man's previous attachment relationships will be able to detonate by contact with his current partner's behaviour of rejection. Brown et al. (2010) pointed out that previous experiences of rejection weaken a man's ability to cope with present rejection. Such experiences include excessive rejection, punishment, neglect and abandonment. According to Bowlby's attachment research (as cited in Bretherton, 1992, p. 769), repeated threats of rejection may lead to excessive separation anxiety. Thus, an anxiously attached man tends to be the one being rejected or abandoned several times by parents or previous partner in his past life experience. Substantial research has been carried out which indicated a link between attachment style and man's abusive behaviour (Brown et al., 2010). Other than that, a man received excessive punishment during their childhood is more likely a troublesome individual (Fergusson & Lynskey, 1997). Therefore, when a m...
Cassidy, J., & Shaver, P.R. (1999). Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications. New York: The Guilford Press.
Miller, Rowland S. Intimate Relationships. 6th Ed. New York; The McGraw- Hill Companies, 2012. Print.
In her text, she states that cohabitation has become very famous in the United States. Jay also reports that young adults in their twenties see cohabitation as a preventive way to avoid divorce. The perception that she contradicts by pointing out that people who cohabit before marriage are more at risk of divorce because once they are married they become unsatisfied of their marriage, she calls this phenomenon the cohabitation effect. The author also punctuates that the problem of the cohabitation effect is that lovers do not really discuss their personal perception of cohabitation or what it will mean for them. Instead, they slide into cohabitation, get married, and divorce after realizing that they made a mistake. She proves her point by presenting a research which shows that women and men have a different interpretation of cohabitating prior marriage. Furthermore, the author emphasizes her argument by saying that the problem is not starting a cohabiting relationship but leaving that relationship which can be the real issue after all the time and money invested. Finally, Jay indicates that American’s mindset about their romantic relationship is changing and can be illustrated by the fact that more Americans started to see cohabitation as a commitment before
Risky sex is described as having more than one sexually driven relationships with more than the primary one. Cherlin (2013) talks about serial monogamy, when individual engage in sexual activity with multiple individuals in a lifetime. Further sugg...
In addition to romantic partners, other age peers such as friends and family have the potential to become dominant attachment figures for adults. Throughout adolescence and early adulthood, friends and romantic partners gradually replace parents as the preferred source of emotional support and proximity seeking (Freeman & Brown, 2001; Hazan & Zeifman, 1994). Shifts in attachment tend to be a function of the relationship length, and only longer lasting friendships are likely to create close attachment bonds (Fraley & Davis, 1997). Enduring close friendships have the potential to
Sharpsteen Don J. and Lee Kirkpatrick. "Romantic Jealousy and Adult Romantic Attachment" Journal of Personality And Social Psychology Vol. 72 (3) March 1997: 627-640. American Psychological Association
In the United States, marriage is a commitment two people make for the rest of their lives. The average American marriage lasts seven years. Well over half of all marriages end in divorce (Francouer, 72). Statistics in the infidelity have rose fifty percent since the 1970s and is rising all the time. The divorce count in this country is now up to one out of every three-marriage end in divorce. Serial polygamy is a common lifestyle for those who are divorced and then become remarried. The relationship between a husband and wife should be sacred and trustworthy. Without the trust and honesty there is no marriage. Monogamy is the loving, sharing, and devoting one's self to another person for the rest of their life. Monogamy should be the most important aspect in a marriage.
Despite these notable numbers, polyamory remains misunderstood and much maligned. Largely due to our unwarranted and yet seemingly unwavering faith in the sanctity of monogamy, polygamists often feel tremendous pressure to hide their private lives, for fear of losing the respect of friends and family. By creating a stigma around having multiple partners, we as a society are committing nothing less than discrimination. Despite all of the arguments that its opponents have hurled against the lifestyle, p...
The question that was chosen for 10 responses in this project is, “Why do or don’t you believe in being monogamous?” In my generation, it seems to be becoming increasingly popular to date multiple people at once and actively deciding not to be monogamous. This is done in a non-deceiving way and is found in the forms of open relationships, seriously dating multiple people at once, or casually dating multiple people at once with no real intention of being with just one person for the rest of your life. Personally, I go back and forth on what I believe in. There is a very high divorce rate now but still we strive, myself including, to be in love with one person and share the rest of our lives with them although by scientific
There was a time when more smart-conscious decisions were made relating to sexual relationships. In particular, sexual relationships within a marriage. However, times have changed. The pillars that hold up our individual sexual values have started to crumble. It is estimated that two out of three marriages fail due to infidelity. This is a scary statistic considering that people believe a marriage can survive infidelity. This brings us to our first myth: Everyone has affairs.
Monogamy, in all sense of it and what it stands for, is the best form of a relationship. It’s big enough to comprise father, mother, and children and yet small enough to relate and understand one another’s concerns and expectations. A well guided monogamous relationship embedded in trust and love is the best environment one can thrive in. This especially is true for children who cannot make decisions for themselves and are completely dependent on the choices made for them. Monogamy also encourages gender equality and compromises between two parties to reach fundamental decisions. The benefits to monogamy greatly outweigh those for the alternative relationship styles. Thus, monogamy is a strong foundation and creates an environment for enhancing the positive growth for many generations to come.