Christian Dating

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A dating relationship is defined as two parties monogamously and respectfully working towards intimacy. This definition is formed from a Christian worldview, but with the wide range of religions, morals, and ideals circulating in the world, not everyone might agree. For example, in her book Success for Modern Day Relationships: Working with Dating, Engaged, and Married Couples, Barbara Cohl presents her opinion on dating. She says that the beginning of any relationship is based on compatibility, which includes attraction, personal and social habits, intelligence, communication skills, sexuality, and affection. Her claim is that if the people in the relationship agree on where they stand on these facets, then they have the compatibility necessary …show more content…

Arguably, all romantic relationships that are healthy and supportive have certain characteristics that create a consistent definition of dating. The key components of this definition include intimacy, monogamy, and respect. The word intimacy comes from the Latin word for inmost, or inner, and suggests the presence of great feeling and confidence between two people (Dreger, 2007, p. 415). This description does not solely refer to a sexual relationship. While casual sex does create physical intimacy, it does not constitute dating because it lacks emotional and spiritual intimacy, which are arguably more important. One does not have to be a Christian to be in a dating relationship, but the Bible does help to shape this idea of intimacy when Paul tells the Galatians to “carry each other's burdens” (Galatians 6:2). The level of intimacy where people know the burdens, insecurities, and problems of the other, is not something that will be automatically present. Rather, a big part of dating is figuring out if two people can connect on a level where both feel as if they can trust the other with their inmost selves. To truly be dating, there must be a commitment to learning about, supporting, and helping the other person grow emotionally, mentally, and for those that are Christians, …show more content…

Getting to know someone on an intimate level requires attention and time. If one person is trying to engage in multiple dating relationships, then he/she cannot share the same level of vulnerability as the other party because his/her attention and time is divided. Adding the biblical perspective to this, marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:22-24, NIV), so dating needs to reflect this in order to prepare each person for all that marriage entails. Therefore, monogamy is one way to respect the future and feelings of the other person in the relationship. People do not have to agree on everything to date, but there should also be respect for any boundaries or ideals that are important to the other person. Respect is essential to a dating relationship because Matthew 7:12 instructs everyone to “do to others what you would have them do to you” (NIV). Even if two people are not Christians, treating others’ boundaries and ideals as legitimate as one’s own will help lead to an honest but also safe relationship. In fact, in the presence of respect, “the other person feels… He can be honest, and still feel connected and safe. He doesn’t worry that he will be attacked, humiliated, or treated poorly. When respect is absent many people will find themselves controlled, neglected, or injured” (Cloud and Townsend, 2009, p. 222). A respectful

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