Beware of Your Washing Machine and its Shiftless Partner, the Dryer
Professor’s comment: This student’s writing embodies a peculiar configuration of literary polish, linguistic facility, playful authorial self-awareness, and unadulterated goofiness. It is proudly, but not without trepidation, that I submit this essay to 123HelpMe and unleash the elegant lunacy of Rob Geis upon an unsuspecting world.
Around the world, across America, even here in town, there is a crime occurring—a robbery of unguessed proportions and most of us aren’t even aware of it.It happens every week, yet we blithely aid and abet the criminals, willingly, if unconsciously, destroying the evidence of their heinous offence. These criminals are everywhere. They can usually be found working in pairs. They lurk in the dark corners of our home, or even in well-lit shops. The patrons of these storefront locations cast furtive glances at one another, feeding coins into slots as they are slowly, quietly robbed of their most prized possessions. I am talking about, of course, a theft of laundry.
The criminals are your washing machine and its shiftless partner, the dryer. Manufacturers of these devious devices paint them white in order to enhance their image of cleanliness and honesty, but behind this friendly exterior there lies a crafty heart. Laundromat models are even equipped with glass doors. Through these doors, we watch, hypnotized, as our belongings are spun away from us.
While discussing this laundry larceny, I refer not to the occasional petty pilferage of the odd argyle sock, in which every washer/dryer seems to indulge. This well-known and carefully documented occurrence is merely the tip, as it were, of the iceberg. Long misunderstood as pure coincidence, the lost-sock phenomenon was finally explained in an episode of the cartoon “Ren and Stimpy.” In this episode, the two fearless adventurers travel to an alternate universe, where they find an extremely smelly planet, which contains, amongst other sundry items, all the socks that have ever disappeared from our world.
In retrospect, this kleptomaniacal attitude toward socks should have tipped me, of all people, off a little sooner. I have come to realize that I have been granted the gift of the Virgo, which is my astrological sign. Virgos are renowned for their attention to detail, although there are a few unenlightened souls who refer to us as obsessive/compulsive at best and anal-retentive at worst.
James T. Johnson was a young man who had a good job working as a construction worker. Although, he had a job and worked every day he still lived at home with his mother. Furthermore, he was the type of young man who went to work on time and after work he would come home. Unfortunately, there were occasions where he would go out with a few of his co-workers on a Friday he still came home afterwards. Nevertheless, he was hiding a secret from his mother that later led to him being arrested. Now, rather than James uses his money he had earned from working, he burglarized homes and garages in the communities in his area. After burglarizing these homes he would then sell the items he had stolen via the internet or a pawn shop in two different counties.
The novel is nurtured with a very soft but sophisticated diction. The essay itself portrays the author’s style of sarcasm and explains his points in a very clear manner. In addition, the author has used vocabulary that is very easy to understand and manages to relate the readers with his simplistic words. The author is able to convey a strong and provoc...
The job of the summoner was to find those who were not living a “holy” life and bring them to the court. This “unholy” life that they would get people for were for things like adultery. The narrator tells the reader of one of the acts of this summoner,” A good felawe to have his concubyn/A twelf-month and excuse him ate fulle;/Ful prively a finch eek could he pulle,” these lines tell the reader that the summoner would sleep around with girls which was one thing he would arrest people for. Chaucer use the ugliness of the summoner to show the hypocrisy of the church. Things the members would condemn would be things they would be
Goldman parodies the traditional literary structure by acting as the editor, this allows him to purposely include annotations that mock tropes of the literary process. When the supposed author, S. Morgenstern, is about to explain how Buttercup becomes the princess of Florin, Goldman edits it all out calling it “105 pages where nothing happens” (94). Goldman’s supposed deletion of this large ...
First, let’s define Infertility? Infertility is the inability to conceive from unprotected sex within a year. According to National Infertility Association(NIA), approximately 1 in 8 couples in the U.S-about 10-15% experience infertility. Infertility doesn’t discriminate against gender or race, therefore, it impacts both men and women equally, and that range from ages 15-50. In addition, any fertile individual could experience this condition, therefore, one can develop it later in life. This condition is shared by about 6 + million women in the U.S. and about 3-4.7 million men were diagnosed in with infertility, including 14% sperm/semen and 6% varicocele, which is an enlarged vein inside the male scrotum, pouch that holds the testicles of a male, therefore this blocks the blood from through the blood stream.
Rousseau’s political theory revolves around a central idea that in order to deal with moral or political inequality (“social” inequality), man must move out of the state of nature and establish a social contract, “a form of association which defends and protects… the person and goods of each associate, and by the means of which each one, while uniting with all, nevertheless obeys only himself and remains as free as before” (Rousseau 432). Although Rousseau’s plan pledges to protect individual liberty, the plan rests on the legislation of the “general will” and the successful unity of a “body politic,” both of which are vaguely defined and become too concerned with state interest.
Firstly, gender disparity plays a significant role in aboriginal health, especially in the administration of health care. In Aboriginal culture, there are certain health practices that can only be done by either men or women, but not all (Bonvillain, 2001). In most cases, women are treated by their female counterparts whereas male doctors handle male patients. This means that a male doctor cannot undertake a vaginal inspection and a female nurse cannot teach an aboriginal man about self-catheterization. As a result, a breach of this traditional gender division, for instance a male doctor helping a woman in emergencies, is likely to cause shame, distress, depression, and fear of breaking a particular taboo (Freud, 2000).
Sleep is a behavior universal to all people, yet it remains largely a mystery. Chronic sleep deprivation has become rampant throughout western society, for a number of reasons. The aim of this research is to investigate the effects of sleep deprivation, with major objectives being to identify what sleep is, and the reasons for sleep. An emphasis is also placed on the effect, symptoms, causes and ways to combat sleep deprivation. These areas are of particular interest to those seeking to investigate sleep deprivation, or individuals who suffer from sleep deprivation by investigating the symptoms, causes and strategies to combat sleep deprivation.
Sleep deprivation is a severe problem that can cause a variety of negative effects in everyday lives. Sleep is required for our survival and relied on for our mental and physical wellbeing. Because there is a greater awareness of the problems associated with sleep deprivation, our society is very fortunate to have the resources to seek the help that is needed.
Contrary to what most believe to be true, infertility is caused by as many men as by women. In fact, about 40% of cases are att...
...d up in Salvation Army bins. The U.S. textile recycling industry enables Africans to dress well for very little money. In 2003, used clothing was by far America’s largest export to Tanzania, and it ranked fourth worldwide as a customer for America’s castoffs, with competition from countries such as Beijing, and the Republic of the Congo.”
Sleep deprivation occurs when the body does not receive the amount of sleep necessary for it to function at its peak performance. Although it seems like a fairly harmless ailment, it generates a mass amount of negative effects on the body and mind. Most cases of sleep deprivation are, for the most part, not significantly harmful, but if left unresolved, could lead to health issues and decline in mental efficiency. Those who are sleep deprived tend to become desensitized to the seriousness of their condition and become used to the consistent lack of energy and forget what it is like to feel ready for the day ahead.
...es of a Friar, (which explains the attitude of dishonest from Chaucer), Chaucer still ironically commends the Friar as a strong leader of the church.
The characters are on a pilgrimage which is a clear indicator that the text is of religious genre. The Catholic Church, at the time, was losing many followers due to the Black Death and their lack of faith in the importance of the church. The Summoner and the Pardoner, who both represent the Catholic Church, are both described as greedy, corrupt, and abusive. This is a direct correlation to how Chaucer and many others felt about the Catholic Church during this period. The Monk and the Prioress are not described as being corrupt like the Summoner and the Pardoner; however they are described as falling short of what is considered ideal for people of their position. They both are described as being in a depressed state. Also bot...
...om the mouth of Edward Sutherland. White collar crime has been noticed throughout the years for the incredible damage that it can cause the public. It has occurred many times since its beginnings and is still occurring today. Those individuals involved have a weakness that many humans face: greed. Though relatively unknown for their crimes, fame is not the motive for white collar criminals’ desire to gain significant sums of money for their crimes. Through recent years of recognition, the United States can better control a crime that has resulted in at least ten times the combined cost of theft, burglary, and robbery of blue-collar criminals. With protocol in place, white collar crime can be controlled and decreased significantly. Over the past few years, through recognition & action, white collar offenders are being more fairly judged & given harsher sentences.