If it is a mans world, then why do boys wear a mask and struggling with low self esteem. Willliam Pollack a well respected author of many books and director of the centers of men and young men shares his views of why boys struggle, and why society don’t think to help instead assume that boy’s are always fine, in the article Inside The World Of Boys Behind The Mask Of Masculinity. Pollack opens this article with “a fourteen-year-old boy, he is doing badly in school and he might fail algebra, but when the teacher or his parent ask about it, he said everything is just fine. He hides his true identity behind the mask, and let’s no one see his true self.” After reading this article I agree with Pollock and find that in today’s society that boys still have trouble taking off the mask and have trouble showing how to express themselves. I feel in today's society boys struggle with lots of things that may lower their self esteem. Boys wear a mask today to hide from society’s expectations, and what society thinks boy’s should be such as strong willed and an honorable man that can work through anything with no help and continue to use the boy code. Not seeing that we need to support them in their decision making, feelings, and ways to express themselves in order to survive in the world. In Pollack’s study over the years his “research findings have shown that as far as boys today are concerned, the old Boy Code--the outdated and constricting assumptions, models, and rules about boys that our society has used since the nineteenth century--is still operating in force. He has been surprised to find that even in the most progressive schools and the most politically correct communities in every part of the country and in families of al...
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...ur own childhood that we struggled with and share that with the boys. So that we are making connections with them, this may help them open up and talk with us. We need to take small steps and lead the way into the conversation and try not to jump with both feet forward. In conclusion the ways that we can take off the mask and find the true boy behind it would be to understand the boy’s deepest feelings and experiences, to come to know who they really are, to learn new way’s to talk to boy’s so that they don’t feel afraid, and expect boys and their emotional schedule. Regardless, masculinity is an unrealistic expectation of men. Who cares what others think as long as they be their true self. If we share a Pollock article with parents this would be an excellent resource for them and help them understand why boy’s are the way they are and how we can help.
Boys have to hide their true selves and feelings to fit in, but in society expect men to be both tough and gentle, and be able to express their feeling, try to not hide behind the mask. Regardless, masculinity is an unrealistic expectation of men. Who cares what others think as long as they be their true self. It is apparent through my though that this essay is a good source to research or write an essay and can be teach. This essay helps parents learn more about their children feeling and grow into manhood to become real men.
William Pollack, PhD, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, uses his clinical practice to observe a national crisis, a “gender strait-jacketing” of boys (62). Pollack chooses Adam, a fourteen-year old boy who is being bullied and once a good student, as his patient and example of how boys often feel compelled to wear masks to hide their true feelings and thoughts. He does not know how to ask help, even to his mother; in result, his academic performance is left behind because of his inside struggles. Pollack deduces that boys’ self-esteem as learner is far more fragile than of most girls which boys are afraid to sit in front of row or be active in class because they do not want to be called as a nerd, dork, or something like that (65). Recent research indicates...
The idea that teenage boys should act a certain way towards females is usually instilled in them at a young age. According to Devor, “ Femininity must be expressed through modes of… action which communicate weakness, dependency, ineffectualness, availability for sexual or emotional service, and sensitivity to the needs of others” (Devor 6-7). In other words, men have to place women on a lower pedestal because of a woman’s so called “needs” (Devor 6). The “needs” that women express are feminine characteristics. The characteristics of females listed by Devor, does not show any sign of power or dominance. Since society believes gender is a patriarchy, females have no influence and need attention. This shows that men adjust their actions around women, since they believe that women need special attention. Furthermore, if a male possesses anything non-masculine,
The problem, as I see it, is that we have not re-defined masculinity for the modern age. In the old days, masculinity was measured by (1) physical abilities, particularly strength, but also skill, (2) power/success/wealth, and (3) sexual prowess. The first can be developed through education and hard work, the second could be acquired through the application of the first, and the third, well, either you got it or you don't, but locker-room bragging can always make up for any lacks, especially if you got the first two. Boys growing up in such a society work to develop their physical abilities and learn how to apply them most efficaciously, thus becoming a "man". This makes sense when a man might be faced with the challenge of building shelter on the prairie or raising crops, but us modern urban men are unlikely to face such challenges. Of course, we are not unprepared for the challenges of a modern urban lifestyle. Our education generally provides such life-sustaining skills as linear algebra, the performing arts, and information systems management. The educational system is successful enough to allow most of us to get jobs that pay us enough to afford all the requirements of a modern urban lifestyle: housing, food, clothing, entertainment, transportation, etc. The trouble is that while education has more or less kept pace with the advance of civilization, our notions of masculinity have not.
An article entitled “How Boys Become Men,” written by Jon Katz was originally published in January, 1993 in Glamour, a magazine for young women. This article details the process of a boy growing into a man and mainly focus on the lesson boys learn that effect their adult lives. These lessons are about how to hold back emotions and never appeared sensitive. The author includes examples of his own experiences as a boy to convey to the reader the challenges of growing into a man. Through the various stories of young boys, the author is trying to prove that the men are insensitive because they had to learn to hide their feelings during the stage of growing up with other boys. The purpose of the author is to explain the women of the world, why men appear to be emotionalist and “macho.” The author’s main idea of this article is to explain why men are insensitive and to help women understand why men sometimes seem “remote” and “uncommunicative.”
From the beginning of the human race the gender roles of man and woman appeared to be straightforward. Women, being able to procreate, were sought to as nurturers, while men were to protect and provide for their family. Throughout all cultures, practices and beliefs of individuals toward masculinity significantly vary. Masculinity or manliness associates with characteristics such as strength, bravery, handsomeness, and physique in a male. With the ongoing changes in human history, the term masculinity has greatly evolved. Our western views’ paint a clear image of how children should be raised according to their gender role, which leads to more and more of them falling victim to the stigma of societal pressures and stereotypes. For example,
Unlike the negative opinions about masculinity said that it is dangerous, violence and a threat to women, positive opinions people wanting to restore masculinity. “A professor of political science and philosophy at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada” (Newell) had written an article discuss about positive things of masculinity. According to Newell that “young men need to learn a positive version of masculinity that encourages honor, pride, and respect for women.” With him, masculinity is a positive thing for men, it is honorable and respectful, therefore young men should learn it. Sadly, throughout the years, masculinity has changes a lot which made people misunderstood the actual definition of it and mislead it to violence and misogyny (Newell). Even though everyone has their own personalities, but babies are born, raise and teach by their surroundings. Due to that reason, “Newell contends that society needs to channel certain boyish traits, such as a desire to be heroic, in positive directions and teach these boys how to become honorable men.” Babies are like a clean slate, what they see is what they are going to learn, they should see and learn masculinity in positive ways of it, not the bad ways of it. To learn masculinity in positive ways, Newell states, “to do this, we must recover a sense of what it means to be manly—honorable,
While Reading the book Real Boys by Dr. William Pollack, I realized that our society is holding boys to contradictory standards aiding the problems that many of them face while in adolescence. This book introduces the reader to numerous boys who share their feelings of shame and despair in trying to live up to the "Boy Code". Pollack feels the pain that comes from boys prematurely separating from their mothers puts them on the cycle to hardening themselves emotionally. The one acceptable emotion becomes anger.
In the Washington post the essay “Why Schools Are Failing Our Boys” relates to the study of the “boy problem” Fink’s concern is that boys have a harder time in school causing them to drop out or not to go on to college. I agree with Fink’s concern because of the mistreatment of genders and the pressure put on students as a whole. Based on class readings it has been illustrated that throughout history boys felt as though school made them feel less masculine. From what I have personally seen in school, boys are constantly being told to “man up”. I feel as though boys are expected to act a certain way and all students are expected to conform to a certain type of learning. Fink’s truthful experience through her son is an accurate model on how
In an excerpt from his book, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, which was first published in 2008, sociologist Michael Kimmel shows us how the teaching of masculinity in America begins to form at a very young age and goes far into adulthood. He focuses on how boys are molded from a young age to be men, by forms of harassment, teasing, and peer pressure from parents, relatives, friends, teachers, and society. In this specific essay, Kimmel explains the pressures young boys experience and the expectations as they grow into manhood. Kimmel vividly describes men who are pressured by their own peers to prove their masculinity. Furthermore, there is a relentless sense of having to show ones ' 'manly ' ' behavior. Masculinity is expected, and needs to be shown in-front of others at all times. For most men, being able to do
As a child develops, their surroundings have a major influence on the rest of their lives; if boys are taught to “man up” or never to do something “like a girl”, they will become men in constant fear of not being masculine enough. Through elementary and middle school ages, boys are taught that a tough, violent, strong, in-control man is the ideal in society and they beat themselves up until they reach that ideal. They have to fit into the “man box” (Men and Masculinity) and if they do not fulfill the expectations, they could experience physical and verbal bullying from others. Not only are friends and family influencing the definition of masculine, but marketing and toys stretch the difference between a “boy’s toy” and a “girl’s toy”. Even as early as 2 years old, children learn to play and prefer their gender’s toys over the other gender’s (Putnam). When children grow up hearing gender stereotypes from everyone around them, especially those they love and trust like their parents, they begin to submit themselves and experience a loss of individuality trying to become society’s ideal. If everyone is becoming the same ideal, no one has a sense of self or uniqueness anymore and the culture suffers from
Throughout today’s society, almost every aspect of someone’s day is based whether or not he or she fits into the “norm” that has been created. Specifically, masculine and feminine norms have a great impact that force people to question “am I a true man or woman?” After doing substantial research on the basis of masculine or feminine norms, it is clear that society focuses on the males being the dominant figures. If males are not fulfilling the masculine role, and females aren’t playing their role, then their gender identity becomes foggy, according to their personal judgment, as well as society’s.
There are about 7.2 billion people and over 3.47 billion of them are male. It would be unrealistic to believe that none of them has insecurities. It would be ridiculous to think that none of them are judged on a daily basis on if they are, "manly enough". The world teaches young males that they must provide for the female, that they must be strong to protect the female. Yet, if we teach girls that they are valuable and that they can provide for themselves; then why do we not teach boys that they do not have to show themselves as alpha males? If you go back to the beginning of time, you will always portray men to be strong and muscular. Pressure for ideal body image from media affects both genders because; men are desensitized; both female
As more people come to understand the differences between gender identity, sexuality and gender roles. a clear view is made and easier to understand. In Mark Bauerlein and Sandra Stotsky’s article, Why Johnny Won’t Read, a clear question is asked repeatedly: Why are boys doing so poorly in school and why are they withholding emotional feelings? The article mentions, “ Boys… often draw themselves to a more “traditional” display of masculinity because they are more unsure than ever about how to experience their own femininity…” The fact that so many young boys feel that necessary urge to act in this manner is appalling; yet in context, the situation clearly makes sense. Pressure of society is causing these young boys to act this way, and does not allow boys to behave freely. Bauerlein and Stosky also mention that, “ Girls read; boys don’t” This statement segregates both genders and automatically puts pressure on boys. By separating the two genders, society again makes the statement that there are only two options to gender identity. Society must stop this at once and instead begin to accept everyone in order to make social life comfortable for every
The gender issues in today’s society are issues to discuss because they are tainting the lives of people from an early age. This is important because girls and boys are showing increasing levels of insecurities that are arising due to fundamental gender issues in society. The masculine stereotype is one the most prevailing causes of gender issues in society, especially the issue of sexism. Our society must address this issue because the cycle of sexism only feeds into peoples’ insecurities. Men should not feel obligated to objectify women to feel masculine and women should not feel like they must be sensual and beautiful to have value. The stereotypes that are being placed on men and young boys effect the attitudes of the women around them and creates a cycle of hypersexualization and sexism, leaving the relationships between genders tainted and women feeling less confident in themselves. By changing the way people think men and women are supposed to be, we can change the way our society values one another and in turn, become a more equal and respectful society.