Barricades

11:40 a.m.
I would go through the motions until my favorite class came. A class I had no intentions of meeting the girl of my dreams in. Architecture and Design IV with Mr. Lewis; a retired architect and unbeknownst rambler, he would become so enthralled in retellings of his misadventures as a young man that he would turn a blind eye to the crazy antics that became the norm in our class. This was a specialized design class with only seven students, five of whom were a delight to be around - truly they were, but there was one particular student, which made them fade into the background almost every day. This class was like our sanctuary an eclipse of time every day to be ourselves to let down our shields and take off the performer's make up, she would laugh with me, fight with me, encourage me, and tear me down; every day was a new day to learn more about each other. I learned of her ambitions, her fears, her family, everything and anything that would visit her mind. I would listen to and retain every word she said as if there was an impending final exam on the subject. I was more than prepared to pass this test with extra credit points. That class was the best ninety minutes of my day, every day.
1:10 p.m.
The last class of the day, Drama II, was the seed to my eventual downfall, the class I would have never taken, had I known... Even as I type, tears begin to well up in my eyes. Writing this entire paper literally hurts me. It's been two years since this all happened and I have moved on completely, honestly I have, I have had more relationships, closer friends and experiences I would never give back but, to relive this year hurts so much. Not because I still love her, but to know how much pain that seventeen year old was in eve...

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...ject matter her insecurities and desire to see what I said about her compelled her to answer my phone call. We talked for two hours exactly. I explained my story, I told her all that I could about the bliss and pain she gifted me with and she cried and laughed at the stories from the past. I poured my heart out one last time. And she was so sorry for what a more immature Jade did to me. We congratulated each other on all the accomplishments that we had achieved thus far and we said good bye.
That phone call did a lot but most of all it made my head clear the storm subsided I was calm again. This isn’t meant to be a fake happy ending, I had no control over her response or my reaction but. I cannot say that I am not happy. I have smiled more since that phone call than I have in years. I refuse to commit to another girl simply because I am not healed, just happy.