Response To Personal Narrative: Awakening To Reality

Awakening to Reality “Your life experience is a moving picture, of which you are writer, director, performer, producer and critic.” (T.F. Hodge). A year ago, this quote would have never made sense to me. I used to be angry with the world. Whenever I encountered a difficult problem, I would ask questions like “Why me?” or “Why is God unfair to me,” as if, I was being punished. In fact, those were not the correct questions I should have been asking myself. I should have been asking myself, “What can I do to change my situation into something better?” or “How can I direct my life towards a better direction?” As you mentioned in class, “I” is the language of responsibility. I have decided to take responsibility for my actions and not blame others.

It is when I allowed it to transform me that I found my suffering to be meaningful. A little less than a year after my grandmother passed away, I found out that my aunt also had cancer. She passed away on September 19, 2014. I felt the same pain I felt when my grandma passed away. That is when I realized that there was a lesson I had to learn. Since I did not get it the first time, it presented itself again. I realized that in order to avoid the pain from hitting me again, I cannot move back to the same spot. I have to move to a different position, so that the pain does not hit me. This lesson taught me to change my attitude. A day before my aunt passed away, we had a conversation. “Take care of your mother, she’s very sad,” I remember her saying with eyes full of pain, and tears. That is when I found meaning to my life. My purpose in life is to take care of those I love. Frankl, (Man’s Search for Meaning, pg. 112), tells us that, if we cannot change the situation, we must change ourselves. “We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the unique human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation- just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable

I decided to try, and see more clearly and it changed my point of view. I caught myself constantly saying, “I never looked at it that way.” I saw the world as a dark place, instead of a place full of light. I decided to fix my relationship with my mother. I began to treat, and talk to her with the respect she deserves. I also decided to heal her wounds. It slowly began to heal my wounds as well. I started thinking about someone else other than myself. My experiences allowed me to create a different point of view. Sufferings are blessings in disguised. In order to find meaning in my life, I shifted my point of view and decided to live a life full of festivity. God was not being unfair to me. He was trying to teach me a lesson. I learned that I have to spend more time with, and care for those I love, before it is too late. It might seem clear to some people, but in my moments of darkness, I did not see this. Mary Manin Morrissey once said “Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of