Attachment theory

One of the basic assumptions Bowlby makes in his attachment theory Is that physiological or physical

threats activate an attachment system example loss of an attachment figure. Attachment triggers such has

hunger, fatigue, failure, loss, threats of failure or loss and real failure or loss activates an attachment system. A

sense of anxiety or stress comes about when these triggers are set and the individual feels the need to maintain

proximity or restore proximity to resolve that individuals stress. According to Adult attachment theory in order

to become a attachment figure a individual must have three functions, be a target for proximity maintenance,

function has a safe haven in times of need he/she is a source of comfort and he/she should function has a secure

base. A individual may not have all three of these functions but when an attachment system is triggered the

individual acts on one of these functions which eases anxiety, gives reassurance and attention. Adult attachment

theory also explains how proximity is highly needed when an attachment bond is created. “but each has become

sufficiently reliant on the other that separations are now distressing. And they begin to use each other as bases

of security” (Page 61). This explains how after the romantic stage or form of attachment bond even though the

two individuals may not be sexual aroused or focused on their partner they stay together because they are

attached. I compare this to Gottman’s idea of fondness and admiration. How being respectable and admiring of

a person saves a relationship.

Fondness and Admiration is a concept represented in Gottman’s sound relationship house. A concept for

appreciation and respect “the antidote” for contempt w...

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... This brings me to

Gottman’s concept of bids.

In comparison Gottman’s concept of Bids is based on the idea that happily married couples turn to each

other in non-conflict situations adding to their emotional bank building positive memories in their relationships.

Rather than focusing on the everyday stresses couples use small bids to build stability in the relationship

choosing to turn to each other rather than never turning to each other. Gottman found that by adding to

emotional bank and turning towards each other leads to the success of the marriage or relationship. Being aware

of small interactions with your partner shows interest and understanding although their may be conflict. To my

understanding similar to the secure person who in times of threat can positively turn to their partner and

positively cope creating a longer lasting relationship.