Attachment Reflection

Learning the details of attachment theory and how it greatly impacts our development was extremely enlightening. With a background in child development, I understood the importance of attachment. However, my undergrad courses merely grazed the surface of attachment theory. Before beginning the course, I understood the importance of parenting on child development. My understanding became clearer as the semester progressed, for what I thought I knew was only the beginning. I knew parenting consisted of helping your children in each domain of development, with each domain being equally important. During class, however, I learned that social emotional development is tremendously essential, which develops from attachment. My knowledge of attachment

Similarly to how Braden was raised, the mother was extremely responsive to Owen’s every needed. I dreaded looking after Owen. Owen was extremely attached to his mother and lacked the ability to self-regulate. When I looked after him, he would be content for approximately 20 minutes but would then look for his mother. I chased him up stairs several times because he wanted to be with his mom. I would have to offer him different playing options in order to get him to stay downstairs with me because his mother needed to work. When Owen woke up from his naps, he cried until his mother returned home from her errands or it was extremely difficult to calm him down. At the time, I did not know what to do and I did not know how to bring this topic up to his mother. From my experience, most parents hate being told how to parent their child and I certainly did not want to offend the mother. Both of her boys needed help but I did not know or understand how to help them. It is interesting to reflect back on this time and apply what I now know about the

Although I was studying Child and Adolescent Development at the University, I was not able to provide her with proper parenting practices. She knew she needed help because she did not know how to parent. She sought out information but it was the wrong information. Braden’s mother strongly believed in Attachment Parenting. She raised Braden with the notion that she needed to be present 100% of the time, which is how she is raising her second son as well. When Braden cried, she was there to hold him or offer him milk and when he was tired, she breastfed him to sleep. I now understand that Braden’s mother was too attuned to him and Owen. By being extremely attuned and responsive to her sons, she was not allowing them regulate their own emotions. She solved almost any issue with breast milk. If the baby was crying she gave them milk, until it soon became a “crutch” for the boys. The mother needed to be attuned and responsive to her boys, while also allowing them space to understand their emotions. Consequently, the boys did not know how to self-regulate their emotions because mom was always there to regulate their emotion for them when they were upset. It is understandable that the mother simply wanted to give her children everything she had but she would have benefited immensely by knowing that her boys would have learned a lot more if she were not attuned 100% of the time. The mother needed