Having anything arranged for you or even thinking about the idea of letting your parents make a major life decision for you, can be unfathomable in today’s day and age, but it turns out that the outcome might not be all that bad. Thousands of women all over the country meet their everlasting soulmate by an arranged meeting at the woman’s house which typically results in couples being married for longer than those who met their lover by chance. People have often been misguided by the concept of an arranged marriage as most people think that women are being threatened to marry a man of their parents choice, but in reality woman are the ultimate decision making factor in choosing their potential husband. Contrary to marriages that start off with …show more content…
My father and mother met each other for the first time, when my grandfather and my father went over to my mother’s house to see if she was suitable for marriage. My very shy father timidly asked my mother questions about what her name was, her occupation, and if she was willing to move to America. My mother recalls that she did not ask my father any questions as he did most of the talking. This summer, on July 15th, will be their 25th wedding anniversary. In Aziz Ansari’s book, “Modern Romance”, he travels to different nursing homes across the country and sets up focus groups to compare how the youth of today find love as opposed to the much older generation. In his book, Ansari interviewed an elderly Indian woman who had an arranged marriage and she described her experience by saying, “ He really loved me. He was offering me a chance to start the life I never had”(Ansari and Klinenberg 594). The way this woman viewed her marriage, is the same way the majority of women view being married. In foreign countries, like India and China for instance, women are not granted the same degrees of freedom as they have here in America. Women have distinct household roles and so their contact with the male population is in turn, very limited and so, when they are approached with the opportunity to start a whole new life with a man, it is like a dream come true. Ansari explains how his own …show more content…
This is how most Americans dream they will find their soulmate and can only view this type of meeting as the only means of living “happily ever after” with their lover. Cliches such as this, are one of the main reasons why people refuse to believe the fact that arranged marriages do indeed produce successful marriages that last for decades. Utpal Dholakia writes in his article called “ Why Are So Many Indian Arranged Marriages Successful?”, about how more and more people are starting realize that this type of marriage actually works. Utpal says that “High levels of satisfaction are reported by those in arranged marriages over the longer term”(“Why Are”). That’s what special about having an arranged marriage, the love might not be there from the moment you start a life together with the other person, but as time goes on you learn so much and grow to love your spouse. Love marriages consist of both people being head over heels for each other from the start and those who can’t keep that same passion usually end up in divorce. Dholkia says that potentially “ 1 in 100 Indian marriages end up in divorce”(“Why Are”). This divorce rate statistic makes it clear enough that what these foreign countries are doing in terms of marriage are definitely working. The book that is looked at by most as the guide to knowing all
According to the author, Lizette Alvarez, in the article “Arranged Marriages Get a Little Reshuffling”, Arranged marriages are better than modern marriages and parents can choose good mates for young. First, the arranged marriage has changed a lot in modern time. Arranged marriages are more flexible because young people can meet several times in some public venues without family members. Parents and elders have become more lenient. Second, arranged marriages have more advantages than modern marriages. Arranged marriages can preserve religion and identity and help people to find their mates in the same social class. Arranged marriages can outlast modern marriages because couples can avoid social and religions disharmony. Finally, young people prefer arranged marriage to modern marriage. Young people would spend less time to find their mate because their parents, chat rooms and dating websites help find mates for them. Young people can easily find their mates who have the same education level and social status. As a young person, I do not agree with the author because other people migh...
For as long as we can remember, the idea that marriage is sacred, desirable, and even necessary has persisted in the western world. In a way, society has taught us that in order to live a normal, fulfilled life, one must find their soul mate, marry them, and spend the rest of eternity together. According to tradition, a perfect marriage is characterized by a husband that goes to work every day while the wife remains within the home cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children. Tradition has further dictated that once the husband returns from work, the wife has dinner ready and the family sits down around the table to share a meal together. American literature is full of stories that both play on or challenge these traditional roles within a marriage. But, one might ask, does
However, there is evidence of a positive correlation between love and the length of an arranged marriage (Epstein, Pandit, & Thakar, 2013). Furthermore, the authors summarized previous research findings in which researchers found arranged marriages had a higher level of satisfaction than love marriages in modern civilizations. The fact that both of these trends have come up shows that some western arguments against arranged marriages are founded upon inaccurate
Arranged Marriages have been around since time can remember. An arranged marriage is a marital union between a man and a woman who were selected to be wedded together by a third party. Historically, arrange marriages were the main way to marry. In certain parts of the world, it is still the primary approach. There are two types of arrange marriages. The first is a traditional marriage where the children can, with strong objections, refuse to marry their soon to be spouse. In a forced marriage, the children have no say in the matter. Bread Givers shows an excellent representation of the pressures on children from their parents to be married against their will.
Being pressured into marriage, and having a weight of knowing to not disappoint your parents challenges one's ability to find their own true happiness and love without being overwhelmed with what the family truly wants their child’s wife personality to
The Indians practice of arranged marriages is to protect the strengths of their families. They too look to keep the beliefs and cultures strong within their dynasty. Families search out and find perspective brides and grooms for their sons and daughters. This allows for their sons and daughters to be more focused on school and work not really much different then marrying someone you already know. We must also look at the Hindus in southern India and their consanguinity, although there uncle-niece marriages were the socially preferred. Medical problems existed strong in these unions; the DNA was just to close causing birth defects to multiply in the offspring.
In the article Arranging a Marriage in India, Serena Nanda, a professor of Anthropology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, writes about what she learned about arranged marriages in India from interviewing informants and participating in arranging a marriage herself. Nanda brought in some American biases about how marriage and love are “supposed” to work. She initially had trouble accepting why someone would want or let another arrange their marriage instead of seeking a partner themselves. Nanda’s difficulty understanding arranged marriages, is a result of having grown up in a culture that leaves such decisions to the individual. Furthermore, if the quotes given in the article are an indication, Nanda let her biases influence her conduct
Modern arranged marriages are arranged by the child's parents. They choose several possible mates for their child, sometimes with the help of the child (who may indicate which photos, biographic he or she likes). The parents then arrange a meeting with the family of the mate and they will often have short unsupervised meeting (an hour long walk around the neighborhood together for example) (Arrange Marriages). The child will then choose who they w...
The institution of marriage is treated differently between the two cultures. Marriage practices are not so important in the American culture, and couples are free to choose; to follow common or to choose a combination of practices. The Americans have not consistently followed their practices and customs and in some cases have adopted other practices. The American culture is not strong on the institution of marriage as it is for India. The current American society does not consider marriage institution; its importance comes after career and financial matters. This is evident in the way the society perceives marriages; marriages are secondary to career and financial matters. Americans can choose to divorce in order to pursue career of because of financial matters. The high rates of divorce also explain how the society views the institution of marriage. India considers the marriage institution as very important and should be treated with all respect by all in the society. The importance of the marriage institution is evident from the marriage practices that have remained consistent in the Indian cu...
For thousands of years until today, the best way to officially be the partner of someone is through marriage. People have practiced marriage for thousands of years. Many cultures see marriage as the best method to celebrate the love of a couple until death tears them apart. “Marriage establishes and maintains family, creates and sustains the ties of kinship, and is the basis of community” (Rowe 2). Marriage is a concept bigger than ones happiness and it is the basic for creating a peaceful home for the family. According to Rowe, “This sense of home requires the dynamic participation of both women and men--the women to mother and the men to father--to fulfill the daily roles of teaching, nurturing and protecting children” ( 2). Parents have an obligation to take care for children, so that when they grow up they are able to become a person who is strong enough to support himself. But there are different opinions whether raising a child should be shared equally between parents. One group thinks that it is essential for a child to grow up with the love and care of both parents. Meanwhile, others believe that child raising should be shared in a way that suits the family. While single parents argue that even without one parent they can give their children the needed love and care.
In the medieval, the arranged marriage which is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than by themselves seems to be a norm worldwide. This sort of marriage is ludicrous especially in the contemporary society, however, it gradually tends to be set up by modern individuals' parents or marriage agency excluding the royal and aristocratic clans and numerous in underdeveloped countries. Although this marriage sounds ridiculous and against the human rights, it absolutely bears some merits catering to the modern lifestyle and relationship pattern.
Young marriage has an impressive number of disadvantages and bad repercussions that can be observed in most of the early wedded couples’ lives. While most boys have a say in when and who they marry, and what they do once they are married, many girls do not get the chance to make these decisions. Husbands of young wives are often older men who expect their wives to follow traditions, stay home, and undertake household and child-care duties; or non mature irresponsible young men who consider themselves able to pull such a burden. Early marriage involves huge responsibility from male, especially financial support. Combining job and education is not an easy case to deal with. So, early marriage has a high possibility of putting an end o...
Each marriage comes with a different perspective and story, whether it is an arranged marriage or love marriage. Arranged and Love marriages are very similar yet different. Love is the pure feeling of attachment. Arrange marriage is like a blind date in hopes to find love. It could be love at first sight or love after a while so in somewhat way they end up being a love marriage after all because the end result is the same as they get married or find love. In this essay there will be comparison done on love marriage and arrange marriage. Each country has a different perspective on each type of marriage. I will be comparing both marriages in America and India. Love Marriages come with a responsibility of their
Marriage is a lifetime engagement and traditions in Eastern cultures. Marriages not only do couples get together and take vows to live together, but their families build a lifelong bond. On the other hand, in Western society arranged marriages are not common in the daily life; that is, the point of love is meant to be found, not arranged. In the West, love is to find that someone whereby the couples will spend the rest of their life together. According to Hai, Thu a Vietnamese author, arranged marriages are the method whereby the parents find someone for that person; they are deciding if he or she is fit for the position. Some people could not imagine that Americans who would appreciate the idea of being set together with someone they do not know. To solve this idea and lowering the divorce rate, scientists have expanded the knowledge of personality and relationships. The author brings that various tools have been built to help men and women identify a perfect marriage spouse.
Although Americans were very concerned with the organization of their new country after the Revolutionary War, citizens did not overlook the issue of courtship. At this time, many marriages were arranged, and little dating actually occurred. When children were actually allowed to choose their mate, there were many things for them to consider. Young men of higher classes had to choose a partner who would not degrade the family name (Cressy, 1997). Women had a very small role in the decision of their mate, since they were perceived as simpletons, inferior to men, and their sole purpose was to meet the needs of the husbands (Lasch, 1997).