Being abandoned by my loved ones is one of my insecurities, since childhood. Ive been through rough times my entire childhood from being with one parent to another or being on streets all alone. I never thought anyone would ever be interested in me or even if they did, they would use me and then walk out my life. My whole perspective on relationships changed when my boyfriend walked into my life. I thought it wouldn’t last or he’ll be flirting with other girls and what not.
Most of my childhood was spent observing the behaviour of my mother and father. I was told that my parent’s relationship came to an end as my father couldn’t cope with the constant arguments over the lack of money. My mother told me that my father left and no one had heard of him again. She told me that it was probably that best decision the he had made during their married life. I later learnt the truth.
My step-mom eventually went crazy, which led to my dad getting a divorce. If I had gone to live with my dad, I would have been sucked up in that gigantic mess. My mom and dad get along now. It is a rare occurrence when they are both not at one of my sporting events, both cheering me on together. It is hard to imagine how different my life would have been, if I had told the judge I wanted to live with my dad.
At least we were best friends… exactly because all of this I didn’t go to work. I had no clue about the situation and wanted to flee from everything. So I went to the vacation house of my parents. Like every time, they weren’t here… Sometimes I blamed myself because I didn’t listen to my parents. I would be a successful business man and I would have never met her…Sung Mina, the daughter of my chef.
Every time I wanted to stand up for myself, I would feel as if I wasn’t strong enough to handle my situation. I’d go home and talk to my parents, and they would talk to me about how I should stand up for myself. I was told that bullies were always weak, and they only picked on others to make themselves feel better. I thought I could go back to school and face my bullies head-on. However, the moment they started verbally harassing me, I lost all my confidence and courage.
Losing friends and yet gaining some of the best friends I still have today. I had a major shocking life moment right when I thought I had started getting everything on the right course. After finding out that I was pregnant and not having any support from the father, it changed me. I was so angry at myself for the mistakes I had made and angry at all men for a while because all the guy had to do was just support my decision and he couldn’t even muster up the guts to say it could even remotely be his child. I thought to myself if he would do this how many others would.
In the article “My Family’s Experiment in Extreme Schooling” the author explains how he packed up all of his belongings and moved he and his family to a foreign country only because he wanted to immerse his children into this environment with hopes that they will eventually catch on to this culture's language. Would you go this far to ensure your child gets an upper hand in life, and will these actions help them for the better or worse? At a young age parents already have certain expectations for their kids that they hope will play out like they imagine. Growing up, my parents were always lenient with my grades. The only thing that they would have an issue with was if I brought home an “F.” I can’t say that was a bad way of parenting, but the fact that they didn’t push me hard enough to want to make an “A” wasn’t good either.
This affected me in a negative way as I was expected to follow strict rules unconditionally with absolute obedience, and my parents rarely gave me choices or options as they had very high expectations of what I should be doing. For example, when I was in junior high, my parents selected all of my courses and I had no control over my school schedule. They told me that they were doing this because they knew what was good for me and what career path I should be going into in the future. However, what they did not understand at that time is that their actions lowered my self-esteem and prevented me to act independently; as a result, I never really learned how to set my own limits and personal standards until I entered my sophomore year in high school. I benefited from having authoritarian parents as they taught me about the importance of rules and boundaries, but there are more cons than pros for the authoritarian style.
Protection has always been the main reason for the lie I have been telling my parents. I have always feared what their initial reactions would be and I wanted to protect myself from potential bad reactions. If my parents knew I was not where I was supposed to be, they would freak out. I do not want them to be angry with me and I do not want to get in trouble. In a way, I have always planned out in my head what their reactions would be if I had asked them.
They never liked the boy that I was dating even though he was a really good person. My mom told me I was not aloud to date or see him anymore. I told my mom she could not do that he is the only person that I could talk to about certain things. She asked what I meant and then I told her that a few months ago when we lived in Madison that my mom’s boyfriend 's son molested me and said he was going to rape me. She said that I was lying because I waited so long to say something, but it had only been about 4 months.