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theory of forgiveness
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The Costly Affair : Ego , Acrimony , Insult and Metamorphosis of affection in hatred to ultimate indifference Why is it important to be temperate and harmonious in relations which you care because if you don't then eventually they are gone for ever.Affection, love , respect and acceptance of individual in a relation is its essence and it must be expressed in form which other person understand. The least one should be doing is avoiding abuse and verbal acrimonious exchange. If you are not in a position to communicate it i always better to be on side line and not provide any comments. Comments passed in impulsive way can sometimes do irreversible damage. No Conversation and Communication much …show more content…
What makes such acts more reprehensible is that these acts are done with full awareness.You can't escape your fault by deciding your own quantum of punishment and then claim your right on normalcy to be restored in relation.This claim makes you even more cruel and reflects your complete lack of sensitivity towards other person.If one has the shrewdness to betray some one and they realize that it was grave mistake then they must display the bravery of accepting the mistake, seeking apology and accepting the response from aggrieved person.But in modern day world , People assume it as their right to betray others trust and then being absolutely cavalier towards it as it was their right to hurt the other person. Forgiveness is a virtue but one must be very careful while forgiving someone. One has to evaluate if the person before you actually deserves it and has really realized the gravity of mistake committed. A forgiveness only after such realization would make any sense and can have meaningful results in future.On the hindsight , a forgiveness to person who doesn't realize the gravity of mistake becomes an indirect encouragement to commit more such mistakes in future which can be absolutely fatal for the relation. Every such fatal blow consumes a lot from relation and eventually brings it
At some point or another, we have all been wronged in life and instead of living life full of resentment against the person some of us choose to forgive. In my life, I was wronged by someone who was supposed to be my caretaker, my provider, and teach me how to love. Instead, I was abandoned forced to figure out things
At some moments justice and forgiveness are different also but for the most part they are
Even though I have read Volf’s book Free of Charge, it was good to go back to such a powerful chapter as this one on forgiveness. I was challenged by his two paragraphs on the principle of forgiveness being an extension of getting more than what we deserve. Additionally, He is right that since our culture naturally works by a one-to-one correlation. In other words, you get what you deserve. Therefore, forgiveness must make us uneasy (cf. Volf, 203).
Throughout human history, betrayal has been considered amongst the very worst offenses one could commit against another. Betrayal of another person is an despicable act of disloyalty and leads to broken trust. Betrayal, at its very core, is when one person in a relationship acts in such a way that favors their own interests at the expense of the other person. Betrayal sends a clear signal about how seldom the betrayer values their relationship with the betrayed. In modern society, cheating, lying, and self interest, are commonplace. One must do whatever it takes to get ahead, disregarding whomever they hurt along the way. In a world where many are reluctant to trust one another, it seems as if the only people one
Resentment is like a prison. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." (Louis B. Smedes). Forgiveness will set you free. That type of hatred carries around where ever you go. Granting forgiveness to those who hurt us can bring tranquility. Such as Tan, as soon as she forgave her mother she felt peace, and I forgiving my sister took away the hurt. Some of the smartest men talk on the importance of forgiveness. Exoneration avoids a person turning cold and bitter. Abhorrence can lead to trying to want revenge. But what is better than being at peace with oneself. One must keep in mind that forgiveness is for the strong. Forgiveness builds character.
Forgivenessis a way of smoothing social relationships and maintaining one’s welfare. Personality types have a strong relationship with the degree of forgiveness. It is expected that a person who has this particular personality type will also have his own level of forgiveness depending on how a person thinks and how to deal
Forgiveness comes in many different points of views, it is not just a word but it’s how you see it mentally, feel it emotionally, and must acquire for yourself to move forward and be happier. In an interview that I saw on youtube with world famous writer Elizabeth Gilbert, she asserted that, “We forgive ourselves and not abuse ourselves for what we didn’t know as it was happening”. I agree with her assertion because everyone does make wrong choices at times and should remember the most important thing is, you must forgive yourself before you can identify what else is needed to be forgiven. Whether it is an unfaithful partner, a past decision or a mistake which had lead you to failure and forgiveness is what we must acquire to live a happier life.
Did you know that forgiving doesn’t mean you approve of inadequate behavior? Inadequate behavior is made by unacceptable choices and either you are forgiven or the other people involved don’t forgive you. When someone does something wrong and you forgive them it doesn’t mean that what they did is forgotten or that it was necessary. If you don’t forgive someone, you are still thinking about it and it will bother you until you forgive them. An act of forgiveness is an important choice in everyday life and you might consider these three questions consisting of: are there experiences in your own life that have shaped your understanding of forgiveness, to what degree should we forgive others, and what rules and norms have shaped the way you examine forgiveness in the world?
Weeks & Fife (2013) point out some different phases of forgiveness which might be useful to unpack with the couple such as “ceasing to seek justice, ceasing to feel anger, wishing the other person well and restoring relational trust” (p. 271). It is important for the couple to begin the process of forgiveness once both of them have worked through the affair and are moving towards reconciliation. “As the couple begins to comprehend and appreciate how they failed to address various issues in their relationship, they begin to see how they made themselves vulnerable to the experience of an affair” (Weeks & Fife, 2013, p. 272). Once a deeper understanding is achieved, than a deeper forgiveness can be achieved as well.
Being in love for the first time brings a numerous amount of emotions into play, one of them being jealousy. Although the feeling of affection is still there’s a sense of insecurity that grows regardless. Therefore any kind of accusation may lead to the destruction to even the strongest of relationships. In the play by William Shakespeare, “Othello”, the protagonist doesn’t know how to handle the ideology of his wife possibly not loving him anymore that leads him to do the unspeakable.
"I forgive them for the world; I forgive them because of family pressure, because of societal pressure. But in my heart, they will always be unforgiven" (NPR Staff).
It takes a strong person to completely let go of something painful and forgive a person who has done them wrong. For example, the scenes in the novel Les Misérables by Victor Hugo where Bishop Myriel forgives Valjean and where Javert is unable to accept Valjean’s forgiveness are similar because both characters forgave their wrongdoers with mercy. They forgave because they let go of the need for vengeance and in turn welcomed compassion. However, the response of the wrongdoers was different. Valjean responded differently to forgiveness because he was taken aback by the way the Bishop showed him mercy even though he was not worthy of receiving benevolence. By the bishop buying Valjean’s soul for him, he helped Valjean understand that vengeance was not the answer, God is the answer. As a result, the consequences of Valjean’s response was that he took up the spirit of Bishop Myriel’s generosity and made it the cornerstone of his new life which eventually allowed him to give pardon to his long-standing enemy Javert.
In retrospection of his complicated emotions towards Alfred Douglas, he deeply agonized over not only the wrongdoing this relationship brought to his life but also a catastrophe to nearly all of his family members. Wilde disdained the orthodoxy marital morality of Victorian society because he believed men and women married for money and reputation not for love. Intuitively, he shunned domestic responsibility. Nevertheless, after he witnessed a series of family accidents especially the death of his mother, divorce from his wife and his children being taken from him, a kind of moral sense as a son, a husband and a father rises in his mind. He learnt to glorify women’s virtue in keeping the harmony of a family, affirmed the significance of marital love and parental love. What’s more, he expounded his attention beyond domestic affairs to all humanity’s love and hatred. He decided to reward with love for whoever hurts you because love can purify your soul but hate only brings destruction. Thrown into jail and confronted with bankruptcy owing to Alfred Douglas and his father, Wilde could still eliminate hatred to his foe. Perhaps it’s one of the highest forms of
Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. One of the thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable.
Perpetrators experience guilt toward having committed an interpersonal transgression (Cryder, Springer, & Morewedge, 2012) because such a transgression threatens the relationship between their victim and them. This emotion is strongly related to the effort to restore and improve the relationship with the victim (Baumeister et al., 1994). Forgiveness is victim’s compromise (McCullough, 2001), it implies undertaking to improve the relationship between the perpetrator and the victim. Therefore, it is expected that transgressor’s guilt will be alleviated by receiving preemptive forgiveness from their