Teaching Children to Accept "No" for an Answer The dreaded “No”. It is an answer that children prefer not to hear. “Dad, can I play my Xbox?” “Mom, can I go over to Chris’ this weekend”? Questions, questions questions. Our inquisitive kiddos are filled to the brim with inquiries and we as parents have to be prepared for what they throw at us. When teaching our children to accept “No” for an answer, it’s important to realize that we must say “No” sometimes, just because. There is power in the “No” and we don’t always have to justify why we said it. It’s not to be cruel or unjust, but “no” is a tool parents use to train children to accept rejection as a part of life. Without the mechanism of accepting this answer, our little ones grow up believing all things must go in their favor. When they are told “No” at school or with their friends they may not know how to process rejection. (Remember – we want to keep the kids from bullying teachers/ministry workers into having their own way; again it starts at home). Now we know our children ask us everyday for something. There are some theories that rationalize telling our children “No” negatively affects their self-esteem. On the contrary, I believe “No” actually helps kid’s …show more content…
How do we teach our children the appropriate ways to respond to situations that are beyond our control? We illustrate peace. By teaching our children to stay calm, we equip them to handle life’s difficulties with ease. The Bible says in Matthew 5:45, “…he lets rain fall on the just and the unjust.” Realizing that just because we are believers, have faith and follow Christ does not simply make problems disappear. How we handle these challenges reflects who we are in Christ. Children have to learn as early as possible to allow the peace of God to guide their decisions in spite of disappointing
Nichols, Michael P. Stop Arguing with Your Kids: How to Win the Battle of Wills by Making your Children feel Heard. New York: Guilford Press, 2004.
...lict, misunderstandings and even hostility can occur for children, families, and teachers” (Garris, 2006, p. 5). Families’ rules sometime create a dilemma for the children. Children are not able to distinguish which is right or wrong.
...-management techniques to increase their own ability to deal with frustration, so that they can respond calmly to their child's behavior.
This paper is a report of the book The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. In my work I made an attempt to identify issues, concerns, and possibilities discussed in the book, and to explore what needs to be done in respond to these issues. The book is a memoir of Pausch’s life in which he shares his wisdom about how to live a productive and meaningful life. The lessons, questions and issues that this book raise are universal. Many people can benefit from the book regardless of their age, race, or social status. I cannot express how much I enjoyed this book. Randy’s Pausch life is a truly unique powerful story that can serve as a guide for families, schools, and community leaders on how to help our children develop the skills of resilience to deal more effectively with stress, and to cope with everyday challenges.
The most successful way to instill righteous and moral behavior and thoughts is by demonstrating our respectable interactions and honest problem solving approaches during difficult times of our lives. “As adults we should dare to be adults that we want our children to be”. They learn by watching and are quick to mimic our behavior with their peers outside of home. The author writes that “we should strive to raise children who: engage with the world from a place of worthiness, embrace their vulnerabilities and imperfections, feel a deep sense of love and compassion for themselves and others, value hard work, perseverance, and respect, and also move through our rapidly changing world with courage and a resilient spirit” (214, 218-219). All of these elements will help to transform the way we live, love, and
...to sleep. One mom recommends to say yes but with strings attached, for example if you child or teenager want to go out with friends or play videogames, just say yea right after you do your chores. My favorite trick that someone said was to walk away from a tantrum. This takes away the fun from the tantrum and usually the tantrum will stop. I think of it as the “not my kid…and walk away” that’s why it made me laugh.
a certain amount of advice to help children deal with life’s basic issues; the rest is left for
Toddlers developing autonomy starts with saying no. Not physically saying the word but using body language. Moving the head away from incoming food and closing the mouth is a clear statement of no without saying a word. This is the moment when the child asserts their independence. By age two the child is more rebellious and stubborn about nearly everything. This behavior paves the way for terrible twos. Although, this can be a frustrating time for parents and caregivers it is important to note that learning to say no is a fundamental skill. When children enter the no stage giving choices throughout the day will make a child feel more independent. Giving children choices such as whether to dress themselves or be dressed by a parent. Toddler will gain self-confidence by being able to choose (Hudlemeyer, 2008).
When dealing with children, parents and educators usually have a hard time in understanding kids in order to help them follow guidelines. It is a great achievement to be able to adhere to children and keep them on the right path. When one has to deal with a child it is very difficult to communicate, understand, and listen in order to get a feel of how to guide the child. If all these components are obtained then it can lead to a positive relationship with the child all the way to adulthood. If the parent and educators want to truly create an open communication and stable environment they should utilize the book, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. It can guide you to establish communication skills and help better in dealing with children. “The Science of Raising Courageous Kids” by Martin Brokenleg and Steve Van Bockern is proof that validates Faber and Mazlish’s practice.
Walsh PhD, David. No: Why Kids—of All Ages— Need to Hear it and Ways Parents Can Say It. New York: Free Press, 2007. Print.
Children are reacting to the authority of persons in their lives. The teacher acts in a firm but friendly manner to reinforce limits, raise conscious levels, and teach alternative behaviours. I have noticed a child in a childcare, showed mistaken behaviour as a result of dominant character. Despite her small size, she has rapidly become one of the leaders. She plays with just about all of toys, and she has a constant need to be in control of other. She occasionally gets in to arguments, with her peers when they no longer accept her leadership. She has difficulty resolving these conflicts and frequently has a tantrum when she is unable to have her own way. Then I made them sit quietly and I asked her whether she likes it when her friend feels sad. He says "no." I continue to guide him through discovering a solution by asking questions until we reach one that works. The kind gesture makes her feel happy and stopped her argument with peers. Together we find a solution that builds her awareness and how to solve peer conflicts, giving him tools to build positive relationships in the future. According to Gartrell” At the socially influenced level, children have learned that using
First and foremost, I will always be focused on the fact that it is my responsibility as a teacher to “cause my students to learn”. I cannot teach my students content unless I have prayed and asked God for illumination and for an “appliers heart”. It is important that I understand the content and application before I teach this to my students which should result in a life change for them. Application is the main reason for God’s revelation and it is my responsibility to share this with my students. My ultimate goal is to illustrate how scripture can be used in daily
Just as children’s reactions are each different, so are their coping strategies. Children can cope through tears or tantrums or by retreating from unpleasant situations.
Any parent or educator who works with young children knows that when there is a group of children together, there is bound to be disagreements. Just like physical skills such as walking, jumping and running, young children need to learn social skills like how to express their feelings, negotiate with others and show empathy (Porter, 2008a). And, just like learning to walk, children will inevitably “fall down” many times before they become confident using these new skills. In the Videative clip “Carrying a Basket” (Curtin University Library Videatives Streaming Service, n. d.), a group of children aged 4 years old are returning a basket to the school’s kitchen. The children meet an obstacle when they cannot agree on who
Lastly discipline is another very important responsibility. The best thing to do is to pick your battles, because if you are constantly saying “no” your child will tune it out. You also have to be consistent. For example, you can’t let your child eat candy before dinner one night and then tell them not to the next night, you will be sending them mixed signals.