Susan Heitler) “Communication in relationships is like a river. When thoughts and feelings flow smoothly between marriage partners it 's fun, feels good, and helps support everyone around. However, when communication flow is turbulent, it 's potentially dangerous and destructive. And when communication gets blocked, pressure builds up. Then when the words start flowing again, they tend to come out suddenly in a damaging raging flood” If you and your spouse do not communicate effectively, you are both likely to experience frustration, anger and resentment. On the other hand, couples who communicate well experience fulfilled relationships, empathy and true intimacy with their spouses. Effective communication in marriage is perhaps the single most important aspect of a successful
Dear Misty and Justin. I would like to start out by saying congratulations on your engagement. I would also like to take this time to share with you, some very important information I learned about during my Interpersonal Communication course. I hope that this information will help you two build a strong and healthy relationship with one another in the years to come. I believe having this valuable information on interpersonal communication and knowing your partner will be a major key in to building a solid marriage with one another.
Communication is the chain in any relationship. Between a husband and a wife, the role of communication plays a main part in maintaining the relationship. In Sex, Lies and Conversation, Tannin says, “complaints from women about their husbands most often focused not on
I would like to start off by saying congratulations on your engagement. I am pleased to give the both of you advice on how to communicate effectively in your relationship. It is an honor sharing with you what I have learned in taking an interpersonal communication class. There are many concepts that I have learned and I would like to share them with you throughout this letter. You are making a big step when getting married and that is why I need to discuss some important things in order to maintain a healthy marriage. My advice for you in order to maintain a successful relationship is to keep effective interpersonal communication. It does not matter whether you are dating or in a marriage, communication is always the key to success. Communication is very important when it comes to developing or maintaining a relationship .When communicating you should actually listen to what one another have to say. We as people communicate each and every day; if we just learn how to communicate effectively we will strengthen our relationship, it do not matter whether it is personally or professionally. We have been communicating since time. Our ability to communicate grows and mature the same way we grow and mature. When it comes to communicating, it can be challenging, knowing and understanding what communicating is, how the each of you communicate, verbal and nonverbal expressions power, listening ability, understanding and emotions misconceptions has to be controllable, there are always room for improvement to make a relationship more healthier. Communication is known as two or m...
Second, another reason for this problem is the difference in personality with spouses. Before marriage, each person really does their best to agree with their partners because their lovers are not completely connected by law with them. After marriage, on the other hand, it is certain that their lovers are completely connected. Therefore, they demand more things and expect too much from their wife or husband. They overlook that people are all different. When my mother fought for the first time with my father since marriage, at first, she was very upset. However, she thought “He is just one independent person.” After that, she could understand my father and also my father tried to understand my mother. This is exemplary solution of cannot understand difference in personality with spouses. King Solomon noted, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17, NLT) Like this quote, trying efforts to decrease differences is important.
It is important to realize that interpersonal conflict exists in every instance of interpersonal relationship. It is equally important to understand that conflicts in a relationship are not always a detrimental thing. Conflict resolution involves several aspects of effective interpersonal communication. Self-disclosure, messages (and message meaning), and transactional communication not only contribute to the solution, but can be by-products as well. Relationships are dynamic (Hamlett, Cycle 3). So too will be the conflicts that arise. Our ability to adapt and implement effective conflict resolution can actually strengthen a relationship and make the relationship more valuable.
As you can tell, there are many tips to have a great relationship. After reading the authors’ essays, I have learned what to do and what not to do in a relationship. So next time my boyfriend starts to drift away, I will handle it differently. Instead of getting upset and crying because he doesn’t want to be with me; I will just let him be. I can understand that “he is going into his cave” and wants to be left alone. I will realize that it isn’t my fault. (Gray, 21) As author Deborah Tannen discusses the differences between men and women, she says “different perspectives on expressing or concealing dissatisfactions and doubts may reflect a difference in men’s and women’s awareness of the power of their words to affect others.” (15) If you are in a relationship and you want it to be successful, make sure that you listen to your partner, you understand men and women’s communication differences, and never criticize-just compliment. If you work on these elements, you will achieve “Successful Love.”
In “Sex, Lies and Communication: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Author Deborah Tannen conducts research to determine why men and women have such different interpretations of communication in marriage. Primarily, men think that communication is simply giving their significant other attention. But “women regard conversation as the cornerstone of friendship” (Tannen 276). It is not just attention that women are looking for, but attention, intimacy, genuinely listening, engaging in conversation, just genuine feedback. Communication is vital in a relationship, yet men and women misunderstand each other which cause problems in their relationship due to the body language given off by the opposite sex, being raised to communicate differently, and the lack of communication creating distance.
Most studies in marital conflict pertain to three particular dimensions of communication. The first dimension is affect which refers to messages that express positive or negative feelings about another person, such as supportiveness, hostility, confirmation, coercion, sarcasm, or global positiveness or negativeness (e.g., Gottman, 1979 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). The second dimension to characterize conflict behaviors is whether they are constructive or destructive for the parties’ relationship. Research in the United States indicates that exiting from the relationship and neglecting the partner are destructive problem-solving responses and are more powerfully predictive of couple distress than giving voice to problems and being passive loyal (e.g., Rusbult, Johnson, & Morrow, 1986). The third dimension to characterize conflict management is engagement versus avoidance (e.g., Hocker and Wilmot, 1991 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). Engagement is reflected in direct, overt verbal confrontation of conflict issues, while conflict avoidance is reflected in withdrawal and aversion to dealing directly with conflict issues (Canary, Cupach, & Messman, 1995) and includes circumscribed, irrelevant, or ambiguous communication. Since the purpose of this study is to examine the effect of culture on marital conflict strategies and marital satisfaction, the discussion will be limited to the third dimension of marital conflict, engagement–avoidance, along with Rahim's styles of conflict.
Communication Patterns: How does it Contribute to Marital Adjustment?" Journal of marital and family therapy 25.2 (1999): 211-23. ProQuest Central. Web. 5 Mar. 2013.