In her essay “The Myth of Coparenting: How it is supposed to be. How it is,” Hope Edelman discusses the issues that she faces when dealing with marriage roles. According to her descriptions, her husband doesn’t play an active role in their domestic life and only focuses on his career. Edelman often gets into arguments with him over his disinterest and lack of contribution to home life. She responds to this lack of interest by buying a swing set along with other items against the husband’s wishes. Similarly, Eric Bartels’ essay “My Problem with Her Anger” discusses the effects of marital roles from the husband’s perspective. He argues that although he is not the most active with domestic life, he does contribute. Bartels claims that his wife’s anger makes it hard for the family to function. Bartels proves his dedication to their family by showing how he gives up drinking beer in order to dedicate more time to helping out around the house. Both Edelman and Bartels express love for their children and frustration at their spouse. As a result of this, references to the swing set in Edelman’s essay and to beer in Bartels’ essay reveal that when there is a disagreement between the husband and wife in a marriage, it is possible that one of the partners will express their emotion through rebellion against his spouse …show more content…
The language Edelman uses when the swingset bought displayed during her rebellion displays this intense emotion: “One day I said f**k it, and I took John’s credit card and bought a swing set” (Edelman 55). The use of cursing when the tone of the rest of the essay is more formal highlights the passionate irritation she has with her husband. Edelman has an intense need to express her sentiments because they are not acknowledged when she talks to her husband. By rebelling and buying the swingset her husband is forced to acknowledge the anger she
A married couple may not always be the happiest couple even though it may seem that love is expressed in the relationship. Some marriages are meant to be while some are not. What causes a person to be dissatisfied with their marriage? Or how do external factors play a role on the outcome of a relationship? As for the case in "Holding Things Together" and "The Painted Door"; these short stories have a few similarities, but they also have many contrasting factors to take into consideration on why one couple is successful with there relationship while the other is not.
The relationship between a husband and wife is one that is sacred and requires support. Linda Loman faces a tough task as the spouse to Willy Loman. The relationship is one-sided and in many situations, Willy Loman ignores her when she speaks. With this in mind, Linda Loman disregards the negative aspects about her husband and instead glorifies them, converting the negative aspects to positive. This constant struggle to appease her husband chains her role as a wife and also inhibits her freedom in the spousal relationship. Without a
DeVault, C., Cohen, T., & Strong, B. (2011). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships in a changing society. (11th ed., pgs. 400-426). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth cengage learning.
Throughout history, a woman's role is to be an obedient and respectful wife. Her main obligation is to support, serve, and live for her husband and children. In Henrik Ibsen's A Doll's House and Susan Glaspell's Trifles, two different women make a decision to take matters into their own hands by doing what they want to do, no matter what the outcome may be and in spite of what society thinks. These two women come from different homes and lead very different lives yet, these two women share similar situations--both are victims, both are seeking individuality, and initially, both women end up alone. There are many ways that Nora and Mrs. Wright differ. First of all, both come from completely different households. Nora's home is "tastefully [. . .] furnished" and always "pleasant"(917). She lives in a lavish home eating macaroons, drinking champagne, and hosting banquets. Nora often has guests at the house and there are even maids to watch her children. Her husband, Torvald, is often home and has guests over. On the other hand, Mrs. Wright's home is unpleasant, in an "abandoned farmhouse"(977) in a secluded area. Mrs. Wright seldom has company, nor does she have any children. She does not leave the house very often and her husband, Mr. Wright, wants no outside interference. Mr. Wright refuses to get a "party telephone"(978) because he enjoys his "peace and quiet"(978). It is obvious that these two women lead different lives with different types of people, yet they share similar situations that are not so obvious.
Martineau clearly had a strong political agenda in writing this story, however in doing so, she addresses the fundamental difference she sees in the roles of responsibility in marriage. In her mind, the husband and the wife have clearly defined roles, not so much along lines of production, but rather in terms of the household. That which is in the household, whether it is the domestic duties or financial responsibility, falls to the wife while it is the husband who is responsible for the income stream.
Even the most durable substances can fall apart. Marriage, a structure built upon the union of two people for eternity, can be destroyed—especially when the two feel threatened by the inevitable stress and frustration that follows. Eric Bartels, an author for the Portland Tribune, wrote in his article, My Problem With Her Anger, about receiving anger from his wife and his own discontent in his marriage. Bartels establishes his opinion that fundamental differences between men and women can deter marriage, through his use of strands and diction to describe reactions to stress from marriage based on gender; however, with his use of generalizations and loaded language to attack the female audience, his claim is limited.
It is a very difficult task for women to live a content life while in a despondent marriage. Though it has been done, it is simply no easy task. In the short stories "Story of an hour", and "Astronomers Wife" Kate Chopin and Kay Boyle both suggests to their readers that a woman needs a man to connect with her physically to be happy. The two stories both share the thesis that women are being held back by their husbands and there is plenty of evidence to prove this. With Chopin's story taking place in the 50's, and Boyle's story taking place at the turn of the century, they encounter parallel situations with a time difference of almost 50 years.
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
It is tremendously unfortunate that women are treated so ruthlessly in marriages that it leads to mental consequences. Glaspell illustrates, through the lens of Psychoanalytic Criticism in the sense that the woman becomes mentally tempered because of the way her husband treats her, a time when Hale is talking to Mrs. Peters regarding the wife’s mental health, “I wish you’d seen Minnie Foster when she wore a white dress with blue ribbons and stood up there in the choir” (152), stating the idea that before the woman gets married, she was full of life; however, when she does get married, she is treated very unfairly and soon has strange emotional effects. Gilman shows an instance when the wife is experiencing psychological effects, “the front pattern does move . . . the woman behind shakes it” (par. 189), explaining that because the wife is so fed up with the unequal way she is being treated and the fact that she has to stay in a room, she begins going insane. According to Harper and Sandberg while considering mental issues towards women in marriages, “martial process is a key player in the depression equation” (547); this explains the ideology that because some women are treated unfairly during marriage, psychological effects soon haunt the woman who is unhappy with the inequality. This is a prime example of an instance where psychological effects on women in marriages illustrate gender inequality. Moreover, emotional effects in marriages are explored, “partners who are able to find the closeness they needed in marriage were less likely to be depressed” (547). This explains the concept that because spouses are not “close,” regarding the fact that women are not treated equally, men treat women in a cruel manner and thus, cause women to be negatively harmed mentally because of how useless they feel, illustrating gender inequality.
A developed relationship can be interpreted as one where the couple is interdependent, tolerant, and dedicated. Equity allows a relationship to efficiently develop in this manner. Judith Viorst illustrates a poem depicting a couple’s struggles and their sacrifices for the other in “True Love”. In many points of the poem, the couple is compromising for the other’s flaws in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts. “I do not resent watching the Green Bay Packers / Even though I am philosophically opposed to football” (Stanza 1) is an example of the wife forcing herself
The article “My problem with her anger” was written by Eric Bartles. It is a first person point of view about the multiple problems he and his wife face while raising a family. The author goes into detail about the domestic problems that arise after having children, while both parents maintain a job. Bartles continues to state the anger his wife projects on him, which he believes is due to his shortcomings. The writer expresses the difficulties of their relationship, and tell readers ultimately no matter how bad things get it, it continued to work.
Marriage can be seen as a subtle form of oppression, like many things which are dictated by social expectations. In Kate Chopin’s The Story of An Hour, Louise Mallard finds herself in distress due to the event of her husband’s death that makes her question who she is as a person. The author cleverly uses this event to create the right atmosphere for Mrs. Mallard to fight against her own mind. As the short story progresses, we see that Mrs. Mallard moves forward with her new life and finds peace in her decision to live for herself. This shows that marriage too is another chain that holds oneself back. Not wanting to admit this to herself, Louise
Helen is a disgruntled housewife, she doesn’t support Harry in his plans to create a safe haven inside of the cellar. When Harry attempts to set a plan in motion, she seems to be against him and proceeds to scold him. The scenario of Karen, their daughter being ill, may have contributed to her attitude towards Harry. Unable to come to a unanimous decision on the appropriate approach to handle Karen’s illness and as well as the ongoing crisis around them, they foster a bitter attitude towards one another. According to the authors Thomas N. Bradbury and Frank D. Fincham there is a reason for that. It states that… “One explanation for this apparent gender difference is that, compared to husbands' attributions, wives' attributions are rooted more firmly in the events and circumstances of the marriage. If wives' attributions are indeed more accurate or well developed representations of partner behaviors, then their attributions will be linked more closely to the behaviors they display in interaction when discussing some of those partner behaviors.”(Bradbury and Fincham 574). All things considered, Helen’s and Harry’s portrayal cast their marriage under the ‘dysfunctional marriage’ category.
From the daily actions of the husband in daily lives, we can see that his blindness to love hampers his definition of love into simple consideration. And such superficial love directly accumulates dissatisfaction and it is unleashed by the love test. His husband’s attention to do the housework appears when he “overheard a friend of his wife 's congratulate her on having such a considerate husband.” (1, Tobias
Overall, we can see that 200 years later we are still attempting to escape from the gender line created through society’s image of men and women. Men and women still fail to communicate their feelings within their relationships, resulting in an overall unhealthy marriage. Today women and men attempt to challenge these gender stereotypes by taking on the roles of the opposite gender, but like in the “Yellow Wallpaper” are immediately met with “heavy opposition” and disapproval through the process. Although we may seem as though we are improving in escaping from the gendered stereotypes, the past will always be recurrent in a majority of relationships today if dominance within the relationship is not equally balance between both sexes.