Parental pressure is often part of a child’s life. The pressure depends on gender, society, and also culture. The really short story “Girl” by Jamaica Kinvaid is a conversation between a mother and daughter. The mother talk most of the time; she gave a long series of warnings and advice to the daughter, who responds only twice. These advises are mostly about how to take care of her dad, or future husband, and also household chores, cooking, manners, social conduct. The voice of the mother seemed commanding and “bitchy” but the mother seems to expect a great deal of her daughter, and she did say what she had to say to let the girl know it. A mother words are the one that ring the loudest, they are passes from generation to generation to generation, …show more content…
Gender have a big effect on how a mother feels about her child, traditionally, every mother has a wish for her children to be the best they can be. But at what point does a simple instruction become words that have been said to many times? Traditionally, If it is a boy the one wish of a mother is for him to get married to some women who can cook and take care of him. In the other hand, there are two kinds of mother wishes for her daughter, one where the mother sees other children with amazing talents or grades and thinks her child could be just like them, if not more; continually places pressure on her daughter to become some kind of genius or have some talent. The second is for her to get married to a rich guy who she can take care of. In the short story the mother went over and over rules her daughter must follow for society to accept her. “don’t walk bare-head in the hot sun . . .always eat your food in such a way that it won’t turn someone else’s stomach. . .” (813). All this comments are about how not to look like a slut around people. And how not to embarrass …show more content…
This was the illustration of this entire story. As the story goes it present a lot perspective and though of the mother and very little of the girl. More importantly, the story shows that the mother doesn’t really care about how the girl feels about her advice; it wasn’t a choice either she take her advice and become a good daughter and a good wife in the future or she will become known a “slut” who doesn’t follow her tradition. This story will make you wonder if the girl will ever become the perfect girl that her mother wants her to be or if she gets use to the American tradition and not be the perfect girl her mother ought her to
Relationships are amongst one of the most difficult things a human must create within their lifetime. Sadly enough, miscommunication happens with any type of relationship and some of the ones who suffer the most are mother-daughter relationships. Deborah Tannen, in her self-help book titled, You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation, tells us that conversations between mothers and daughters are among the most comforting and the most hurtful (Tannen 164). This reading is an excerpt from her book that was written for mothers and daughters who cannot communicate and how small changes can help resolve their issues. In addition, this was written to describe the different principles that made the communication problem
As a baby, parents want their child to begin moving around, crawl, and then eventually walk. Then, as they get older, they are expected to sit when going places and all day at school. They teach them the first couple years of their lives that it is okay to move around and then one day it switches and they are expected to sit all the time. Babies can also get away with about anything since people think it is just cute that they are even doing something. No matter what gender they are, they are allowed to cry, play with what they want, and talk whenever. But as children get older the expectations change. Boys are taught that it is not okay to cry because it shows signs of weakness. They are taught that they need to act strong and be respectful. They begin to act rowdy, loud, and joke around a lot. On the other hand, girls are allowed to show feelings, express their thoughts, be respectful, and be polite. They are usually quiet unless around other girls their age that they are friends with and then they begin to act loud and laugh a lot. As children get into their teenage years parents usually give them chores to do. In Kevin MacDonald’s article, he writes about how parents assign chores to their children based on their gender. Boys chores are usually to take the trash out, mow the lawn, and fix things around the house. Girls chores are to do household jobs such as cooking, cleaning, and doing the
Gender socialization, the process by which one is taught the expected behavior assigned to them because of their sex, despite being critiqued as ‘natural’, are influenced through many different agents. Parents, the first and most prominent agents in this process, began this socialization from birth. Everything from the color choices of clothes, toys, and even level of intimacy displayed for girls over boys, all attest to these notions. Emma Jean Peace, rebels against these ‘normality’s’ after the birth of her seventh child Perfect, who Emma Jean decides to secretly raise as a girl despite being born a boy. If parents have the right to instill, teach and raise their child based on their own personal convictions
Sadly, Squeaky has to deal with things that many kids around the world face—neglect, gender stereotypes, and mental disorders. On top of that, the stereotypes Squeaky’s mom places on her are even more heartbreaking. Squeaky’s mom expects Squeaky to want to go May Pole dancing and dress up. She expects Squeaky to want to be girly and act proper. If that were not bad enough, on top of that, when Squeaky and her mom do go out together, and Squeaky does exercises for her running, her mom walks ahead of her, pretending Squeaky is not her child. Squeaky’s mom is ashamed of having a tomboy daughter. However Squeaky will have none of that. Squeaky’s wall of confidence protects her from the superficiality of society. Smile; you look prettier when you are happy. Laugh; laugh at their jokes, even if they are not funny. Make-up; cake it on, because if you have imperfections you are ugly. Dresses; because pants are too boyish. From Squeaky, the reader learns what it means to stand up for yourself in a society that pushes gender stereotypes; instead of giving in, she adopts her own motto: Be yourself; you look prettier when you have a brain.
The mother is a selfish and stubborn woman. Raised a certain way and never falters from it. She neglects help, oppresses education and persuades people to be what she wants or she will cut them out of her life completely. Her own morals out-weight every other family member’s wants and choices. Her influence and discipline brought every member of the family’s future to serious-danger to care to her wants. She is everything a good mother isn’t and is blind with her own morals. Her stubbornness towards change and education caused the families state of desperation. The realization shown through the story is the family would be better off without a mother to anchor them down.
The story contains no clear beginning, middle and end like most short stories have. The story rather resides in the syntax and tone of the mother and the reaction of the girl to her mother’s instructions. The story also reads more like a poem then a short story. It almost appears to be poetry written in prose. Kincaid could be doing this to downplay the actual advice the mother is giving and highlighting the meaning behind them, much like poetry is to be read between the lines. The audience is lead to read in-between the words and advice the mother is giving and to find the story. The existential situation that the mother and daughter are in at the beginning of the story cannot be seen until later on in the story when more information is given. The tone and syntax are made the most important part of understanding this short story and Kincaid makes her audience see
Norms in society do not just come about randomly in one’s life, they start once a child is born. To emphasize, directly from infancy, children are being guided to norms due to their parents’ preferences and choices they create for them, whether it is playing with legos, or a doll house; gender classification begins in the womb. A prime example comes from a female author, Ev’Yan, of the book “Sex, love,Liberation,” who strongly expresses her feelings for feminism and the constant pressure to conform to gender. She stated that “From a very young age, I was taught consistently & subliminally about what it means to be a girl, to the point where it became second nature. The Disney films, fairy tales, & depictions of women in the media gave me a good definition of what femininity was. It also showed me what femininity wasn’t (Ev’Yan).She felt that society puts so much pressure on ourselves to be as close to our gender identities as possible, with no confusion; to prevent confusion, her mother always forced her to wear dresses. In her book, she expressed her opinion that her parents already knew her gender before she was born, allowing them t...
Even in the year 2016, social standing is very crucial to some people. Your family’s’ name and the respect people have for it can mean everything. Alice Walker’s “Everyday Use” is similar to “Girl” in that there’s a struggle with the mother and daughter. Both mothers give advice they think is unsuccessful in teaching their daughters how to become better women. Mothers only want the best for their children, and more likely than not, women are more concerned with decorum and social equity than fathers, which can lead to many disagreements. Langston Hughes’ “Mother to Son” although carries a different message from “Girl” shows the importance the role of a mother is in a household, especially if a father figure isn’t more prominent. More and more children live in single parent households, and a mothers’ influence is very
This is because the mother assumes that a woman’s reputation and respectability predisposes to the quality of a woman’s life in the community. The mother inherently concludes that there are only two types of women: respectable women and “sluts.” Through the entire story, the mother often implicates the daughter of being bent on becoming a “slut.” Her suspicion doesn’t appear to be aggravated by the daughter’s behavior. The daughter resembles good behavior; this is shown by her first input in the story, “but I don’t sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school” (171).
The female gender role in society has created a torturous fate for those who have failed in their role as a woman, whether as a mother, a daughter, or a wife. The restrictive nature of the role that society imposes on women causes extreme repercussions for those women who cannot fulfill their purpose as designated by society. These repercussions can be as common as being reprimanded or as severe as being berated or beaten by a husband or father. The role that women were given by society entails being a submissive homemaker who dotes on her husband and many children. The wife keeps the home impeccably neat, tends to the children and ensures their education and well-being, and acts obsequiously to do everything possible to please her husband. She must be cheerful and sweet and pretty, like a dainty little doll. The perfect woman in the eyes of society is exactly like a doll: she always smiles, always looks her best and has no feelings or opinions that she can truly call her own. She responds only to the demands of her husband and does not act or speak out of turn. A woman who speaks her mind or challenges the word of any man, especially her husband, is undesirable because she is not the obedient little doll that men cherish. Women who do not conform to the rules that society has set for them are downgraded to the only feature that differentiates them from men; their sex. Society’s women do not speak or think of sex unless their husband requires it of them. But when a woman fails to be the doll that a man desires, she is worth nothing more than a cheap sex object and she is disposed of by society.
The second person point of view helps the reader to connect with the girl in this story. It shows the reader a better understanding of this character and how she is being raised to be a respectable woman. This point of view also gives us an insight on the life of women and shows us how they fit into their society. Through this point of view, the reader can also identify the important aspects of the social class and culture. The daughter tries to assert a sense of selfhood by replying to the mother but it is visible that the mother is being over whelming and constraining her daughter to prepare her for
In the short story “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid is a story that everyone can related to. The story is about a mother telling her daughter what to do, what not to do and how to do things. Kind of like society or parents or a friends of what to do. There has also been always been expectations of what to do and how to do things in life regards of gender, nationality or religion. The male has he’s duties and the female has different duties. However, in the typical society today, a person is supposed to graduate from high school and go straight in to an Ivy League university, to get a degree in a field of study that makes lot of money. While working a person must save money for that dream big house with the white picket fence. At the same time, you have to look for that perfect spouse so you can have the big beautiful dream wedding. After the wedding it’s the romantic honeymoon to Bora Bora. After a couple years the baby comes, and you are a happy family. Typically, that is what parents teach their children of what is what is expected of them.
In coming to understand what it meant to be a girl I was affected by my era, women’s sports, and the place that I was raised, as much as the independent feminist spirit that my mom was exposed to and possessed. My mother’s mom raised her to believe and accept the traditional female role. My grandmother put emphasis on the women staying home and existing solely as a support system for the man. She found comfort and security knowing that it was the man’s burden to “bring home the bacon.” My mother, however; was influenced by the time and took it upon herself to take care of herself and make her own money. At a young age she along with many other women of her time wanted to rebel against the expected role and thus have a more fulfilling life. Family and children were an important priority for her but she felt strongly that she could do more. Her parents had a wonderful and loving relationship but her father had three massive heart attacks at age 42 and was not suppose to live a year. My mother was one of the oldest of eight children and was well aware of her mother’s very frightening predicament. This aforementioned life experience and her inherent desire to educate herself made her believe that women could do more. My mother did want to marry but wanted to be in the marriage because she wanted to not because she had to stay in an unpleasant situation. She wanted to make it on her own. She did not want a man to control her and most of all to tell her what to do. Her competitive drive for success in the business world was luckily passed on to me and gave me the confidence and perseverance that I need to get through life. My mother taught me that I was a woman, so things may be harder and that I must never e...
From the very beginning of history, women were portrayed to be insignificant in comparison to men in society. A woman was deemed by men to be housewives, bear children and take care of the household chores. Even so, at a young age girls were being taught the chores they must do and must continue through to adulthood. This idea that the woman’s duty was to take charge of household chores was then passed through generations, even to this day. However, this ideology depends on the culture and the generation mothers were brought up in and what they decide to teach their daughters about such roles.
Socially constructed gender roles have a large impact on the society that we are bred in. Boys and girls are told from a young age what is considered normal for each of them based on what sex they were assigned. Girls are immediately told to be shy but not rude, love the color pink, and clean and cook in preparation of the man they are inevitably going to marry. Boys are told to ‘be men’ and never cry in the presence of anyone, emotions are for girls and anything less would be seen as merely weak. Parents usually prescribe their own upbringings to how their children should be brought up; girls are constantly reminded to watch how they come off to people. Girls must clean and cook, but never show frustration, smile even if she’s scared of unfamiliar