The book is titled Dating and he Single Parent by Ron. L. Deal. It was a down to earth, real life type situation that many couples today are experiencing or have experienced. Deal lays out about every scenario that single parents with children who are planning on merging to those already merged, from behavioral issues to dealing with the ex’s to financial matters. Some of the main ideas that he discussed are the following:
Dating is not always easy, but it can be especially difficult for dating single parent whether just one of them have a child or children or they both do, as they are not only dating each other but also “the kids, ex-spouses, extended family and friends” (Deal, 2012 p.30) and those are a lot of people to date. The decision
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153). Not that it always will but it can expose children to abusive situations, and when couples with children cohabitate the children in the family, can have psychological issues and can harm their well–being. It can also “deteriorates parental authority and makes their spiritual training weaker” (Deal, 2012 p.153). Deal sums it up very plainly when he stated “cohabitation is choosing second best and then wondering why it didn’t work out for the best” (Deal, 2012 p. …show more content…
There is no real timetable for that, but in order for it to have a fighting chance of survival, Deal made one very important statement “don’t marry someone unless you are convinced they will bring emotional, spiritual, psychological and relational blessings to your children” (Deal, 2012 p.191). Even though the children should not tell parents who they can or cannot marry, their feelings and fears have got to play a large role in the decision making, as it affects their lives tremendously.
Step or blended families come with “a very special set of developmental tasks and challenges” (Papernow, 2015 p. 5) and if families are not prepared for them it can end in disaster and failure. It may take time, to blend successfully some families can weather the storms that come along and some cannot. Blended families also offer many positives such as “healing past hurts, and for richness and diversity in relationships not possible in biological families” (Papernow, 2015 p. 5).
If couples are to the point of marriage yet still have doubts or any reservations it is best to wait, there is no hurry “if your confidence in both couple and child are high, mutual commitment is present” (Deal, 2012 p. p.192), and both parents are willing to give 100% of themselves to the family they are about to become then they are probably ready for that next
Within his book The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, Ron Deal (2014) presents a realistic approach to strengthening stepfamilies through focusing on each individual family member’s needs. Real-world scenarios along with integrating family therapy and biblical truth are used in exploring the many issues that stepfamilies resolve. The crux of Deal’s advice is the need to modify expectations from forming a rapidly blended family to integrating a slow-cooked approach that allows for the time and the coarse hardships that are experienced in developing a healthy stepfamily relationships.
...ey are not happy with our other parent. Younger children do not understand and just want their parent's together. It may cause a lot of heartache when the children finally realize that their parent's will never be together again. Parent's may never truly realize the impact that getting a new step family has on the people around them, maybe even their other relatives. It certainly makes for a completely new re-socialization of lives for the people who are affected by this.
In attempting to understand the blended family system, one would be remised if we did not first look at, and understand primarily what a family system dynamic is. Unfortunately, this is a theory that once had very clear cut lines; today those lines are a little burred and more subjective than ever before. Given that the family is an ever changing system with fluid boarders, this author will illustrate some finite distinctions that may separate the typical family system from a blended family system. Family systems have been studied since psychologists began studying people and their behaviors.
On most occasions, divorces leads to children shifting from one district school to another leading to emotional disruption since they require emotional adjustments. After divorces, when there are second families, there are the unique problems of step families (Howe, 2012). Children may not be comfortable with step families since they may treat them unequally compared to their own children. Research has shown that most children suffer silently under the care of step parents. Subsequent marriages are less likely to work out than first marriages and hence it may require further adjustments to the lifestyles of the children. Studies that even though the subsequent marriages may work for the parents, the same success does not always trickle down to the children and hence they end up getting a raw
Now, the number of ex-stepfamilies is increase so fast. Gootman (2012) focuses on those families or blended families who have gone through a divorce. She had done several interviews with people who stay in stepfamily to find out the answer for question “How do they deal with ex-stepfamilies?” The interview results shows that most people do not keep closed relationship with their ex-stepfamily member. Another survey result by the Pew Research Center shows that the second marriages have higher divorce rate than the first marriage (Ch 13, P415). Some of them broken their new relationship because their partner’s ex-steps. In the college students opinion, some of them never thinking let their stepparent be part of family; some of them considered let their stepparents to be...
Research indicates that one-parent families report for about 25 percent of the families in the United States with children under the age of 18. As indicated by researchers “A study of nearly 6,000 children found that youth from single-parent homes have more physical and mental health problems than children living with married parent, and another study confirms single-parent children are 2-3 times as likely to develop emotional and behavioral problems” Clinton, Hart, & Ohlschlager, (2005). The impact of divorce has a high diverse impact on the entire family and continues to create an impact on how children are able to deal and cope with the negative implications of an unhappy couple. A broken family’s children can often feel as though they are causing the problem and seek to either become complaisant to the problem or as they get older seek other forms of feeling loved and happy, which may lead to teenage pregnancy or s...
Families are becoming more diverse and they come in all shapes and sizes. Some people consider families to be strictly biological, while others consider people they love to be their family. Although two-parent families, also known as a nuclear family are the majority, one-parent families are becoming more common in today’s society. A sole-parent is considered to be a parent without a partner or spouse who is the primary care giver of one or more children in a household (Ministry of Social Development, 2010). From the age of 14 onward I was raised by m...
The first type of person who marries or wants to do so is known as the marriage naturalist. This tends to be the majority of rural populations who seem to still have similar views to that of former generations when it comes to the ultimate commitment. These traditional people see marriage as something that should be done as the next step of adulthood. Typically, marriage naturalists wed if the relationship has endured for long enough and the time feels right. For them, the transition into adulthood is fairly quick. Many go on to higher education for a short or average amount of time, or head directly into the work force. Instead of waiting for stability, they decide to make the plunge depending on how long the relationship has been going. It’s a steady flow, and usually based on the two people as a whole instead of each person as an individual. As a result,...
Marriage is one of those things most women and some men look forward to in life. This generation is different from the rest of the generations before, where you had to get married by a certain age and follow a standard of living. Nowadays everyone has the option of getting married or not. There is so much individuality, and liberty to do whatever we please without lives that we can marry the same sex. Even if a couple does marry and say their vows that should mean so much to them, they are getting divorced the next day. “Among adults who have been married, the study discovered that one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. That means that among all Americans 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split (New Marriage).” “Around the world, people are marrying later and divorcing often (Sernau).” Now that this epidemic of marriage and divorce has taken place over the last few generations parenting suffers a great deal.
The issue of divorce is not only the main problem in the American society of today. The custody issue on who is going to gain the right to take care of the children wholly is also a tough one. For the past decade, divorce and the custody battle have rapidly become a significant life event for perhaps millions of Americans each year. “There were more than two million divorces each year, affecting 3 million adults and more than two million children (Thompson, Parting 18).” Thus we can prognosticate that the American family of today is definitely ill and is in great need of a revival.
Fifty years ago, the typical American family included a mother, father and their children. However today, “One in every four children in the United States are being raised by a single parent. Experts point to a variety of factors to explain the high US figure including a cultural shift toward greater acceptance of single parent rearing.”(Armario). As these numbers continue to rise due to modern day ideas and the increasing divorce rate, the children of single parents struggle. “Today 41% of all births were to unmarried women.”(Hymowitz). Single parent families have a detrimental effect on the psychological development of children because single parent families lack financial stability and quality parenting, in addition to lacking a stress free environment.
Single parenting results from the death of a partner, divorce or even a break-up of a couple which leaves one with the responsibilities of being a single parent. According to the American Psychological Association (2017), cases of single parenting have increased for the past two decades, and is seen today more than ever before. The latter ranges from a family headed by a father or mother alone and in some cases a grandparent taking care of the grandchildren. In a single-parent household, life can prove stressful for both the adults and the children, and children in these circumstances are prone to a life of crime.
Current family issue is single mother parenting because it refers to a lot of women including myself that have to deal with single parenting. Single parent families, mostly women have increased in a poverty level outcome. In many instances, a single mother must take on and consist of role expectations, developmental task, and labor inequalities. Problems of single parent families are compounded by economic difficulties. By approaching this topic with the use of Feminist Perspective theory and The Family Development Perspective, I will provide points to why this is a family issue in today’s society.
According to information disclosed in the 2012 U.S. Census Bureau, the number of children raised in single-parent households continues to skyrocket. Children with two parents in the home, earning two separate incomes, tend to have better financial, societal, educational advantages. The effects of a single-parenting on a child’s behavior can be extensive and impact multiple ranges of life in a negative or positive way. In the United States alone, the effects of single-parenting on children fall into two categories: (1) those credited to the lower socioeconomic standing of single parents and (2) the short-term repercussions of divorce that temperate over time. The passage of time, the quality of the relationship with the parents, and the magnitude
In the video they think that it is completely healthy for a child to grow up with two seperate people that agree to raise a child together. However, this would mean that the child has to live in two seperate houses all the time. Is that really healthy? The article talks about how it is more healthy for a child to grow up in a house where the mother is married, whether it be to the father or another father figure. Single mothers raising a child by themselves leads to poverty. “Decades of research show that children raised in single- parent homes fare worse on a wide range of outcomes (e.g.. Poverty, educational attainment, nonmarital and teen childbearing) than children raised by two biological parents” (Risman & Rutter, 2015). In “After Happily Ever After” they talk about how marriage is beneficial financially if it works out. This is because people then have two incomes to build a life together instead of just one. However, if the marriage ends in divorce in can financially hurt both parties. This would support that being a single mother may lead to poverty. However, the article “Promoting Marriage Among Single Mothers” suggest later on that “it would be more beneficial to convince women to delay childbirth rather than to promote marriage” (p.325). There are also complications