An Abusive Relationships is defined as the “systematic pattern of behaviors in a relationship that are used to gain and/or maintain power and control over another” (Huston, 2010). The forms of abuse range from emotional to financial and each has an everlasting effect on the victim. An abusive relationship also has a discrete effect on the mind of the victim; they experience many psychology difficulties pre and post the abuse. Yet despite all these catastrophic consequences to both the mind and body caused by the constant abuse, many of the victims tend to stay in the relationships. The victims deal with emotional challenges on a daily basis, they are wounded on both a mental and physical level, and have to deal with the constant pressure from both society and peers. These issues are well hidden in our society and it barely makes the news headlines thus an individual is never able to figure out why one would choose to stay. Abuse can occur due to many reasons, either abuser is facing difficulties at work or they have a psychological problem controlling them to be over possessive. Yet it is not only the abusers because victims also develop problems that prevent them from breaking free of the relationship.
Abusive Relationships have long deep emotionally scarring effects that take ages to heal. It is the very thing that can essentially inhibit a victim from breaking free. Stockholm syndrome, defined by Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, means “the victims emotional bonding with their abuser” (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network , 2009). This is a mental issue that is developed subconsciously and is an involuntary action. It is like a natural instinct that helps the victim survive the harsh and judging environment. Fi...
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LoveisRespect. (2007 ). Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships? Retrieved November 28 , 2013, from www.loveisrespect.org : http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/why-do-people-stay-in-abusive-relationships
Pollick, M. (2013, November 23). What is Learned Helplessness? (B. Harris, Editor) Retrieved November 27, 2013, from www.wisegeek.org: http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-learned-helplessness.htm
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network . (2009). Stockholm Syndrome. Retrieved November 26, 2013, from www.rainn.org: http://www.rainn.org/get-information/effects-of-sexual-assault/stockholm-syndrome
Zandt, C. V. (2005, May 11). Why we love the ones who hurt us. Retrieved November 26, 2013, from www.in2uract.wordpress.com: http://in2uract.wordpress.com/2007/10/29/abusive-relationship-dynamics/
Especially in the book Miss America by Day, it mentioned about one of the maltreatments called incest (Maltreatment is intentional harm to or endangerment of a child, Incest is a sexual relations between persons closely related.). Like in the situation of Marilyn, author of the Miss America, she went through incest with her father at the age of five to eighteen, so until she became an adult it was very hard for her to tell her own story to anybody because she was afraid nobody would believe in her. Like the Child, Family, School, Community says, “the closer the victim and offender are emotionally, the greater trauma the victim experiences.” I agree with this statement, it is true that the closer the offender to the victim which the greater the trauma victim experiences. Some of the maltreatments are temperament of the child, marital distress, unemployment, lack of community support, and cultural values such as tolerance of violence can be considered as maltreatment. Other symptoms are poor social skills with peers of their own age(s), unable to trust other people, feel depression, commit suicide, have self-destructive, and confusion about their sexuality. It also said that high percentage of drug abusers, juvenile runaways, and prostitutes have been sexually abused when they were children. But for Marilyn Van Derbur felt very depressed and had temperament, but she coped with her pain by socializing and acting out as if nothing happened to her because she has to keep it as secret from everybody else ( Child, Family, School,
An abused woman is always faced with a number of different choices from which she may consider, with regards to seeking help or ending the relationship with a variety of alternatives, the woman knows each decision involves a variety of risks. Time after time, the common question arises, “why doesn’t she just leave?” This question can be answered by analyzing the psychological effects domestic abuse has on women. Many women are unable to cope with the emotional and psychological stress of domestic abuse and resort to violence and extre...
In the book, The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, author Patrick Carnes presents an in- depth study of relationships that are exploitative and can create trauma bonds. Dr. Carnes explores why these relationships form, who is more susceptible, and how bonds become so powerful. In the text he explains how to identify that traumatic bonding is occurring and he provides ways to examine these relationships. Dr. Carnes then provides specific steps to disentangle from these relationships.
Domestic Violence is a widely recognized issue here in the United States. Though many people are familiar with domestic violence, there are still many facts that people do not understand. Abuse is not just physical, it is mental, emotional, verbal, sexual and financial. Many victims of physical abuse are also fall victim to these abuse tactics as well. An abusive partner often uses verbal, mental, emotional, and financial abuse to break their partner so to speak. It is through this type of abuse the victim often feels as though they are not adequately meeting their partner’s needs.
There is no simple answer as to why domestic violence occurs (McCue 9). Domestic violence can transpire to anyone, yet the problem is over looked (“Abusive Relationships”). This is especially true when the abuse becomes psychological rather than physical (“Abusive Relationships”). When the abuse becomes emotional, it is minimized, but it can leave perdurable scars (“Abusive Relationships”).
... own childhood; no matter it are security and nurturing or abandonment and neglect, guidance and respect, or abuse and disdain. Not only the man becomes psychologically or physically abusive, but he is also aggressive towards his partner whenever he feels that his experience of rejection and consecutive disruption cannot be soothed by the defence that he mounted. Those people with a history of neglect or abuse, they usually not able to have confident in their partners whereby they perceive their partners as enemies instead of allies. These abusive relationships are often repeatable becoming more intense as if the man is riding on a rollercoaster ride. The rejection-abusive cycle is considered complete when the man felt he is not appreciated as his unrealistic expectation on relationships is not fulfilled - closeness and intimacy, in other words, further rejection.
"Statistics." RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 May 2014.
Many times, the victim is by themselves, with fellow victims, or with their own children produced through this horrible event. Victims can easily feel isolated and naturally, like all humans, look for someone to love and bond with, this person could be their abuser, this is called Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome is a group of psychological problems that are shown in people held captive. It comes from a famous bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden in 1973. The bank robber took three women and one man captive for over 130 hours. When the victims were eventually released, they seemed to have an emotional bond with their abuser, and came to see the police as their enemies rather than the bank robber (Stockholm Syndrome). These people were only held for 5 days, (compared to decades that some sex trafficking victims are held), and they already formed a bond with the abuser. It is not uncommon for sex trafficking victims to become emotionally connected to their abuser. Their abuser is the one giving them the things they need to survive, telling them any news or information, and providing drugs and alcohol. Victims can view these actions as kindness from their abuser, causing them to want to connect with them more. When the victim knows that they could be raped every night, but instead their abuser only does it once a
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2011, May 21). Mayo Clinic. Retrieved from Domestic violence against women: Recognize patterns, seek help: http://www.mayoclinic.org/domestic-violence/art-20048397?p=1
Control and emotional manipulation are more commonly used in the beginning of a relationship as the “captain” of the house. The abuser starts to control who their spouse can be friends with, when and how they can spend money, and when they can go to town. If the victim of the relationships does anything without their permissions, he or she is emotionally punished by the abuser by threatening to leave the victim, uses guilt, rage, or criticizes. An abuser feeds off of these two types of abuse. A relationship that starts out like this can grow into something potentially more dangerous for the victim. The last three types of abuse are the more dangerous kinds of abuse. Verbal abuse is harmful to the victim’s confidence and self-esteem. Name calling, cruel jokes, and humiliation in public places are all types of verbal abuse that will bring someone into deep depression. Sexual and physical abuse is harmful to the victim’s health. In a healthy relationship, sex is wanted and meaningful; however, if the spouse is being forced to have sex, use unprotected sex, or not allowed to decide about keeping the baby, than this is a health hazard. It is an unhealthy relationship that is untrustworthy and disconnected; therefore, transmitted diseases can spread to the victim. Physical abuse is the more commonly known type of abuse. It is intentional pain from
...cle of Sexual Abuse - Why Adults Who Were Sexually Abused as Children Have Abusive Relationships." Addictions. Ignite Your Faith, 27 June 2011. Web. 12 Jan. 2014.
Abuse is an important health concern for everyone and it affects a large portion of our population. The people who are effected suffer some type of affects during the abuse as well as after the abuse. This is a harmful situation and has traumatic effects on individuals, couples, as well as families. People around the abuser focus all their time, energy, and resources on them and this can put a strain on things. The abuse can take a toll on people and their relationships along with a finical burden.
Carver , Joseph M. "Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser." 03 Feb 2009. n. pag. Web. 14 Feb 2011. .
Abuse has become so common that some people do not realize they are being abused. It is important that this topic is studied because there are many gaps of knowledge to what all an abusive relationship can entail. The goal is to help someone somewhere get out of an abusive relationship before its too late. Whether its emotional or physical abuse, neither is healthy for a person to maintain in. So seeking relationship advice from outside sources, such as popular press articles may be a usual for tool for people who are looking for insight as long as they know to check up on the research involved in the article. This paper will compare and contrast the findings from the article I have chosen to the scholarly research that has been conducted on abusive relationships.
It is not always easy to determine in the early stages of a relationship if one person will become abusive. Abusers may often seem wonderful and perfect initially, but gradually become more aggressive and controlling as the relationship continues. Violence and control always intensifies over time with an abuser, despite the apologies (ncadv.org). I Choose Life attempts to give a voice to the victims and survivors of domestic violence. Along with, offering an understanding to domestic violence, we construct educational seminars and programs that will help to drive that change. Domestic violence is the sole responsibility of the abuser.