In this millennial it is very common to see a divided family. People get married, discover their differences and often divorce. Yet, with divorce comes many decisions and often a messy outcome. While this may take a toll on a family, remarriage is another issue of it’s own. “Step parents” is what they call them; although no one is quit sure what the word “step” truly insinuates. The sacristy of a marriage and the bond of a family is metaphorically protected by the beamed structure of a home. It isn’t until you read “Stepdaughters” by Max Apple that you catch a glimpse of the interior complications and obstacles, divorced families often face. The author seamlessly paints the very common mother and teenage daughter tension many families endure. Yet, the story is uniquely told by “stepfather number three trying to stay on the sideline” (132). The author focuses on a few issues that a family (divorced or not) may face: overbearing control, lack of trust, and unwanted change. He does this, by use of temporal setting – the dreaded teenage years – and situation – the exhausted disagreement between the mother and daughter.
The first issue portrayed is the compulsive and overbearing control that Helen weighs over her daughter, Stephanie. Stephanie has fallen in love with the game of
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As Apple portrays Helen pointing fingers, living in denial and forcing social constraint on her daughter, we see the burden it places on the entire family. The author indeed foreshadowed the basic situation of the story at the beginning when he writes, “My wife sits beside me on our new leather couch. Strength is between us”. That quote foreshadowed the issues of overbearing control, lack of trust, and unwanted change, that unfolded as the story digresses. Analyzing those three issues induces the readers to see just how “strength” has ironically divided a
She allows her mother to control her and make decisions for her. During their conversation, she asks her mom if she should marry Mr. Jones even if she does not love him. Her mother does not seem to care until Helen mentions that he is Vice-President of the company. Her mother says that she should marry him whether she loves him or not because he will be able to take care of her and Helen. They continue to discuss how Helen can marry this man that she doesn’t like so she will never have to work again and he can support her mother, or she can say no at the risk of losing her job and not being able to support her mother anymore. Helen ties in how life is making her “feel like I’m stifling!” (591). Again, I feel this is another representation of Helen not being able to handle the pressures of society. Helen can’t talk about important decisions she has to make without feeling claustrophobic and blowing up by saying things like “I’ll kill you!” (592). I think she blows up because her mother is always nagging her and she can’t handle it in that moment anymore, especially since it is a conversation about
Helen comes from a very low class family and community. Helen’s family is known as what is called “the ghetto”, although they may not have riches they have a great heart that unites them happily. Helen depended so much on a believed love who failed her. Helen never really came far on her education due to having everything with Charles. Charles lost interest on Helen, but she was blindfolded to see that her happiness didn’t exist. Charles has had an affair during their matrimony with a light complected woman who is mother of his two children. The woman had more power over Helen’s feelings because Charles realized his children needed him. Charles left Helen without much to do, kicking her out o...
Growing up, I always assumed that my parents would grow old together. I fantasized about introducing my future children to their still-married grandparents and attending, if not personally planning, my parent’s fiftieth anniversary celebration. Although my parents fought and struggled with areas of perpetual disagreement, somehow things always worked out and in my naivety, I believed they always would. However, as time progressed, the unresolved, and in some cases unspoken, issues that had plagued my parent’s marriage since its conception festered and ultimately reached intractable proportions. As a messy divorce loomed, each parent explained his version of the events and “irreconcilable differences” engendering a separation. Although the facts presented in each account matched, my parent’s respective interpretations of the facts differed greatly. As I listened to my parent’s rationalize their inability to get along, I realized that although my parent’s stories did not match, neither party was actually lying. Each parent simply presented to me his or her version of the reasons for divorce. I knew that somewhere hidden in the subtext of my parent’s explanations laid the truth. As I sifted through the slightly convoluted information, I began to wonder, “Is reality a relative concept?” After reviewing my personal experience, Christopher Durang’s play Beyond Therapy, and Edward Albee’s Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?, I reached the conclusion that, as inherently paradoxical as it seems, reality exists as a relative concept.
Within his book The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, Ron Deal (2014) presents a realistic approach to strengthening stepfamilies through focusing on each individual family member’s needs. Real-world scenarios along with integrating family therapy and biblical truth are used in exploring the many issues that stepfamilies resolve. The crux of Deal’s advice is the need to modify expectations from forming a rapidly blended family to integrating a slow-cooked approach that allows for the time and the coarse hardships that are experienced in developing a healthy stepfamily relationships.
The major themes related directly to the entire context of the story. The formidable mother-daughter conflict going on throughout the story exposed the clash of their cultural roots. The conflict showed the theme where the mother does not understand the game of chess and does not accept Waverly playing it. Also, it showed it when Waverly felt embarrassed by her mother using her as a trophy metaphorically. Another theme is the symbolic games of chess that Waverly played. Without the use of symbolism the story would have lost a major impact on the plotline. Also, Amy Tan used setting to her advantage to fully show the tone of the story and created a scene of emotion. Its major theme of mother-daughter relationship made it possible for young children to relate the short story to their own
Napier notes the influence the strief in David and Carolyn 's relationship has had on the structure of the family. The roles and structure of the family has been tacitly agreed upon by all members as a way to help the parents avoid confronting their marital problems. In addition to Claudia 's role as a surrogate to the parents fighting, Don is placed as a supportive and therapeutic role in the family. He serves as the calming influence in the family and frequently defuses intense situations. The structure of the family is both an outcome of the parents dysfunction and the source of the problems that have led the family to
Stepfamilies give a new meaning to the concept of “complex family relationships” (Hildebrand, 255). For that reason, the interactions within this family unit can be complicated and uncomfortable. There are many changes, positive and/or negative, that stepfamilies try to adapt to. For instance, adults take on new parenting roles and children take on new roles as well, such as a new stepparent or sibling. Parents and/or children may be required to relocate into a completely different house in a completely new neighborhood or city, which leads to separation issues with their nuclear family.
“Children of divorce are more than twice as likely to have serious social, emotional, or psychological problems as children of intact families…” (Parke, Mary, “Are Married Parents Really Better for Children?” p. 4). Not receiving the support and nurturing that is needed from both parents during adolescents can affect the future decisions made by children at a later stage in their lives. The guidance that is needed for children to make their life long decisions such as continuing education, certain situation thinking processes and decisions. Divorced parents will face loss of income compared to a two parent income, depression, and self-acceptance. Separating mothers and fathers in a childbearing family will lead the mother or father to having to split the roles or replace the role of the other parent in the household while the child might only be allowed to live with one parent for a certain amount of time. Single parent childbearing families face dependency among government support programs while the single parent may or may not be receiving child support that alone is not enough to remove the financial burden that single parents incur. Children often find this difficult having to move back and forth from two homes rather than having one home. Single parents who may later decide to marry often times face large scale problems as a result of becoming blended. This includes methods of parenting
On most occasions, divorces leads to children shifting from one district school to another leading to emotional disruption since they require emotional adjustments. After divorces, when there are second families, there are the unique problems of step families (Howe, 2012). Children may not be comfortable with step families since they may treat them unequally compared to their own children. Research has shown that most children suffer silently under the care of step parents. Subsequent marriages are less likely to work out than first marriages and hence it may require further adjustments to the lifestyles of the children. Studies that even though the subsequent marriages may work for the parents, the same success does not always trickle down to the children and hence they end up getting a raw
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the legislation of California State changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing causes (Child Study Center, 2001). This resolution was accepted by the other states and later, the number of divorced people has been steadily growing. Such a typical situation is common for most countries in the world, which negatively affects children’s individuality. However, remarkably little amount of people can conceive the impact of marital separation caused to offspring. (? passive) Many children after separation of parents are exposed to a number of changes in the future. They have to be getting used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how act to children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
The article focused on the question “How well do children fare in remarried families” (Anderson & Greene, 2013, p. 120). Most of the studies compared children in stepfamilies to children living with first-marriage parents. A lot of the research using that approach is criticized for two reasons. This approach pretty much states that first-marriage families are the ideal, perfect family. That idea is not necessarily true. The second reason is because comparing first-marriage families to stepfamilies is not appropriate. This is because children in stepfamilies experience effects on themselves from their parents’ divorce and remarriage. First-marriage family children do not experience these changes. Researchers state that children can be categorized into four groups which include “married, two biological parents; unmarried single mother; married stepparent; unmarried cohabitating” (Anderson & Greene, 2013, p. 120). Studies proved that children living in married-stepfather families were worse off academically than children first-marriage parents. The study also stated that children whom belonged to married-stepparent families were better off academically than unmarried cohabitating stepparents. The type of studies that should be conducted to answer the overall question of children being affected negatively by stepfamilies should study children before and after a remarriage. This type of study is very rare though. Studies proved that children in stepfamilies had no effect on academics, such as reading and math. Research that is conducted on families has three main components: “sampling, measurement, and design” (Anderson & Greene, 2013, p. 121). The two types of studies that are conducted are representative surveys and longitudinal s...
Helen grew up with her parents' passive parenting style because her parents have a pity for her. Helen can do whatever she wants because her parents do not want to deal with her tantrum, and they did not know how to explain to her what is right or wrong. It is easy to feel a pity for Helen but is very hard to give her what really she needs.
The statistics for divorce in America are alarming. As of 2013, forty-three percent of all marriages end in divorce. (Trudi Strain Trueit) Of that percentage, only twelve percent went through a friendly and easy divorce. (Trudi Strain Trueit) Research shows that more than twenty percent of people have parents who argue excessively prior to their divorce. (Trudi Strain Trueit) Sometimes, the split helps calm these tensions, but statistics show that most couples who separate, will get divorced. Other times, the fighting continues after the divorce, with children getting caught in the middle. Studies show that the divorce rate among couples with children is forty percent lower than couples without children. (Miller)
The major portion of the 1.5 million children in the United States whose parents divorce every year feel as if their world is being shattered. Many families are torn apart each year due to divorce. When children realize that their parents are not going to work out together, it is heartbreaking. It is a proven fact that the younger children are when parents get divorced, the worse the affects are. When children are involved in a divorce, it not only affects them emotionally and physically, but they are also affected socially; and they feel like a social outcast. Many may think that divorce is horrific on children, but it is much worse than most would think. Some parents are so worried for their children’s welfare that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing that it will protect the child from the trauma of divorce. After children are affected by divorce, they will always feel as if it was somehow their fault. Out of all of the things that happen in divorce, someone has to get sole custody of the children involved. In often times, that is the hardest part for
This second chances in live eventually lead to step parenting someone else’s children, or another adult parenting their children. Step parenting refers to an individual loving and caring for a child that has no biological ties with them. When a single person with kids decided to give love another changes, the other person accepts the package that the relationship may consist of. Step parenting is also a very controversial topic in which William Marsiglio explains the unspoken things in Overlooked Aspects of Step-Fathering. This article focuses on all the good and positive things that step fathers do for the children of the women they are with. It goes to explain that bonds, and attachment are form in a mutual way where these stepfathers treat and love the children as their own. Step parenting being a controversial topic, has been very hard to understand since in some cases the biological father is still in the picture. Usually one wants to look at an ideal family, before accepting the blended family that actually exists. Although the stepparents can be doing an amazing job raising the child, and being an active person in their life, all biological ties will be valued more. Step parenting being more common and acceptable in society, it is occurring more, in which broken families eventually become happy blended