They see daughters who will bear grandchildren born without any connecting hope passed from one generation to generation"(Tan). Chinese mothers were "taught to desire nothing, to swallow other people's misery, to eat my own bitterness". Yet, the daughters do not have this blind obedience to their mothers. After the piano talent show fiasco, a quarrel broke out between June and Suyuan. June did not have this blind obedience like a Chinese daughter, " I didn't have to do what my mother said anymore.
In the article “Why Chinese mothers are Superior”, for me it was hard to read. I can’t imagine my mother pressuring me so much to do things. Some would say she takes pushing her kids to the extreme. The Chinese mother isn’t very worried about her child’s self esteem. She doesn’t seem to be worried about her children being insecure.
. How to know your own worth and polish it, never flashing it around like a cheap ring. Why Chinese thinking is best”(Tan 289). Each of the Chinese mothers attempted to guide her daughters, yet they were ill equipped to translate their life experiences in China to the alien environment they found in America. It was their lives, not their language, that they were unable to translate.
This will make the children unable to realise their true strengths and weaknesses, thus unable to make improvements. Second, Chinese parenting style allows the children to become more responsible and independent. Chinese parents believe that the “failures” of the children are the results of the children’s own misbehaviours. There is no one to blame other than themselves. As mentioned in Excerpt 2, “If a child comes home with and A’minus on a test...The Chinese mother will gasp in horror and ask what went wrong.” From an early age, the children are asked to evaluate on their own wrongdoings and try to improve.
This is what David Brooks actually discusses about in his article “Amy Chua Is a Wimp”, says that Amy Chua’s way of parenting which is Chinese parenting isn’t effective enough. Well sure their kids are very intelligent and get high grades, but can they participate in well-functioning groups? One thing that Chinese parenting lacks in is a skill set that is not taught formally, but is imparted through strenuous experiences. This is exactly what Chua... ... middle of paper ... ...h is a sign of strength. Western kids wouldn’t put up with that kind of pressure and would be seen as a sign of weakness.
Amy sticks to the Chinese parenting she learned, but she doesn’t get the desired results with Lulu. After growing up and seeing such different standards for her peers, Lulu begins to disobey her mother. However, Amy being the Chinese mother she is does not condone her daughter’s disobedience and feels the need to double down. She responds with “Had I not been strict enough? Given her too much” (173)?
They don't try to comprehend their culture, which is a big part of understanding their traditional Chinese mothers. On page 6, one of the daughters states, "I can never remember things I don't understand in the first place," referring to Chinese expressions her mother used. When their mothers show pride in them, the girls only show their embarrassment. One daughter shows her shame when she says to her mother, "I wish you wouldn't do that, telling everyone I'm your daughter" (p. 101). The girls cannot relate to their mothers because they were raised in a different world.
Dutta, the Chinese narrator of “Who’s Irish?” is self-assured and not willing to contain her opinions of the American culture in order to satisfy her family. When her daughter complains that the narrator does not support her, she verbally dismisses the American culture: “We do not have this word in Chinese, supportive” (Jen 325). Also in contrast to Mrs. Dutta, the Chinese narrator does not even pretend to adapt to American habits. When her daughter wonders what to do about Sophie’s wild behavior, the narrator turns to the Chinese culture and suggests spanking. She feels confident that the Chinese method of discipline is effective, but her daughter makes it clear that the American culture disapproves of physical punishment.
There are big differences in how Chinese mothers act towards their children compared to Western mothers including the expression of feelings and approval, the worth of their children, and what is best for them. Amy Chua (2011) incorporates her own personal experiences of being a Chinese mother within her article and compares that to what she witnesses in America. Amy Chua (2011) names off three reasons that support her argument in why Chinese children are more successful. First, she mentions that Westerners worry too much on how their child will accept failure, whereas Chinese parents assume only strength in their child and nothing less. For example, if a Western child comes home with a B on a test, some parents will praise the child on their success and some may be upset, while a Chinese parent would convince their child they are “worthless” and “a disgrace.” The Western parents hope to spare their children’s feelings and to be careful not to make their child feel insecure or inadequate, while Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe their children can get them (Chua, 2011).
The struggle of these second generational daughter’s to find their own niche is discussed more at length by Ben Xu from St. Mary’s college of California in his academic journal, Memory And The Ethnic Self: Reading Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club, where he states “The daughters, unlike their mothers, are American not by choice, but by birth. Neither the Chinese nor the American culture is equipped to define them except in rather superficial terms.” (Xu 15) his analysis paints a dark picture for average Chinese American daughter who is in a difficult position being neither fully-Chinese nor All- American whose struggle to choose a side, and the realization that neither one fit’s, creates a mini- identity crisis. To make matters more difficult The mother’s spurred on by fear that their daughter’s will lose total connection with their ethnic origins, push harder, which only makes their daughters further retreat within themselves. As a result there is nearly a complete aversion by the daughters in the novel to anything relating their mother’s traditional background, resulting in a loss of culture and a mini failure on behalf of the mothers. A second failure on behalf of the mothers that is highlighted in Tan’s novel, is the failure at times to maintain the respect of their daughters.