A Modest Proposal For Making Driving More Entertaining, While Creating The Same Risks For Everyone

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A Modest Proposal For Making Driving More Entertaining, While Creating The Same Risks For Everyone On The Road

It was suggested to me that we “…kill all [the] dumbasses [who choose to drink and drive],” but I felt this too harsh (Holzbach). Why not let them kill themselves? The nation, as a whole, would be more pleasant, happier and more carefree.

It is a melancholy object to those who often frequent the bars in this great country to see those who do not currently share in their fortunate state of being. They are usually alone, observing those around them with great envy, holding the car keys, but worst of all, sober. It is the inopportune being who is unluckily chosen to be the designated driver for the evening. It is always an enjoyable experience to spend hour upon hour pounding back the drinks in a bar. Why limit the fun? Why choose someone to be a designated driver and make his or her night miserable? Why not take the fun onto the road?

I think that it is agreed by all parties that the prodigious number of sober drivers in our neighborhoods, city streets, and country roads is at present deplorable to the state of our great nation. Currently, a whopping ninety-eight percent of Americans of driving age feel threatened by those who drive under the influence of alcohol, which means that only two percent of Americans are able to fully relax and enjoy themselves while on the road, and with the growing awareness, this number could be on the rise (MADD Online: General Statistics 1). What a travesty! All drivers, and passengers alike, should be put at the same risk for danger, be it damage, injury, or death.

But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for those driving the cars: it is of a much ...

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American FactFinder. U.S. Census Bureau. 18 September 2002

<http://factfinder.census.gov/bf/_lang=en_vt_name=DEC_2000_SF1_U_DP1_geo_id=01000US.html>.

Brown, Meg. Personal interview. 18 September 2002.

Holzbach, Wyatt. E-mail interview. 18 September 2002.

Licensed Drivers – Our Nation’s Highways – 2000. 26 April 2002. U.S. Department of

Transportation. 18 September 2002

<http://www.fhwa.dot.gov/ohim/onh00/onh2p4.htm>

MADD Online: General Statistics. MADD Online. 18 September 2002

<http://www.madd.org/stats/0,1056,1789,00.html>.

MADD Online: Government Survey Shows Troubling News On Drunk Driving, Underage

Drinking. 5 September 2002. MADD Online. 15 September 2002

<http://www.madd.org/news/printable/0,1068,4966,00.html>.

Reed, Kim. E-mail interview. 18 September 2002.

Santo, Beth. E-mail interview. 18 September 2002.

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