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A Modest Proposal For Making Driving More Entertaining, While Creating The Same Risks For Everyone

opinion Essay
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1522 words
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A Modest Proposal For Making Driving More Entertaining, While Creating The Same Risks For Everyone On The Road

It was suggested to me that we “…kill all [the] dumbasses [who choose to drink and drive],” but I felt this too harsh (Holzbach). Why not let them kill themselves? The nation, as a whole, would be more pleasant, happier and more carefree.

It is a melancholy object to those who often frequent the bars in this great country to see those who do not currently share in their fortunate state of being. They are usually alone, observing those around them with great envy, holding the car keys, but worst of all, sober. It is the inopportune being who is unluckily chosen to be the designated driver for the evening. It is always an enjoyable experience to spend hour upon hour pounding back the drinks in a bar. Why limit the fun? Why choose someone to be a designated driver and make his or her night miserable? Why not take the fun onto the road?

I think that it is agreed by all parties that the prodigious number of sober drivers in our neighborhoods, city streets, and country roads is at present deplorable to the state of our great nation. Currently, a whopping ninety-eight percent of Americans of driving age feel threatened by those who drive under the influence of alcohol, which means that only two percent of Americans are able to fully relax and enjoy themselves while on the road, and with the growing awareness, this number could be on the rise (MADD Online: General Statistics 1). What a travesty! All drivers, and passengers alike, should be put at the same risk for danger, be it damage, injury, or death.

But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for those driving the cars: it is of a much ...

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American FactFinder. U.S. Census Bureau. 18 September 2002

<http://factfinder.census.gov/bf/_lang=en_vt_name=DEC_2000_SF1_U_DP1_geo_id=01000US.html>.

Brown, Meg. Personal interview. 18 September 2002.

Holzbach, Wyatt. E-mail interview. 18 September 2002.

Licensed Drivers – Our Nation’s Highways – 2000. 26 April 2002. U.S. Department of

Transportation. 18 September 2002

<http://www.fhwa.dot.gov/ohim/onh00/onh2p4.htm>

MADD Online: General Statistics. MADD Online. 18 September 2002

<http://www.madd.org/stats/0,1056,1789,00.html>.

MADD Online: Government Survey Shows Troubling News On Drunk Driving, Underage

Drinking. 5 September 2002. MADD Online. 15 September 2002

<http://www.madd.org/news/printable/0,1068,4966,00.html>.

Reed, Kim. E-mail interview. 18 September 2002.

Santo, Beth. E-mail interview. 18 September 2002.

In this essay, the author

  • Opines that it is a melancholy object to those who frequent the bars in this great country to see people who do not currently share in their fortunate state of being.
  • Opines that the prodigious number of sober drivers in our neighborhoods, city streets, and country roads is deplorable to the state of our great nation.
  • Opines that their intention is to take in the whole number of citizens, whether they are driving the car or riding in it, and even extends to those who are merely walking down the street.
  • Opines that there are not enough drivers who drive under the influence. madd online estimated that only one in ten drivers, a mere 25 million, drove drunk.
  • Opines that their scheme will obliterate the need for expensive car insurance plans, which steal from us our hard-earned money.
  • Explains that the number of souls in this country is currently reckoned at just under three hundred million.
  • Explains that three in every ten americans will be involved in an alcohol-related crash at some time in their lives. why are the numbers so low? why not make the possibility more widespread?
  • Humbly proposes their thoughts, which they hope will not be liable to the least objection. a drunk driver is an acceptable ride without another "...safe ride or [in] an emergency situation."
  • Humbly proposes to publick consideration that the one hundred seventy-five million drivers who do not already claim to drive while intoxicated, should be forced to.
  • Opines that everyone will be put at the same risk of getting into an alcohol-related accident. no one will have any driving advantage over another. teens should be forced to be legally, drunk and could get used to the additional impairments of driving while inebriated.
  • Opines that the nation would be more pleasant, happier, and more carefree when drunk.
  • Opines that since the risk for accidents and injuries would rise so substantially, we would no longer have to have insurance.
  • Opines that touring the streets of our country would provide entertainment for hours. we could watch drunk drivers dodge others on the road or if not so lucky, watch the collisions.
  • Opines that they can think of no objection to this proposal, unless it should be urged, that the sheer number of human life injured and lost would skyrocket throughout the country.
  • Describes the benefits of having sharper penalties for those found to be drinking and driving, having more roadblocks, teaching children the risks and dangers of drinking, and abstaining from drinking if there is no other safe ride.
  • Opines that these solutions could work to curb the problem of drinking and driving in america, but only if done completely.
  • Cites american factfinder, u.s. census bureau, brown, meg. personal interview, holzbach, wyatt. e-mail interview.
  • Cites madd online: general statistics, government survey shows troubling news on drunk driving, underagedrinking.
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