A Man's Car

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A Man's Car Any guy can tell you about his first time. The moment he knew it would happen, usually some fateful day after school. He slowly slipped in, then just froze, enjoying that single moment, hardly believing it was happening. Then, slowly but surely, with years of seeming evolution guiding him, he begins moving, changing his position, pushing buttons, then the final blissful moment…he turned the key and the car actually STARTED!! In that singular moment, an addiction is formed for most men. Contrary to popular belief, it has little to do with thinking it impresses women, and nothing to do with his penis size. Nearly 100 years ago, man gave birth, without the aid of a woman, to his own startlingly ugly little creation. And much like woman does, he has been taking that ugly creation and sticking it in other's faces, and asking "Isn't it beautiful?" or some variation thereof. After a few forty-odd years or so of evolution, a genuine automotive culture sprang up that's as American as, well, a Chevrolet. It became a minor sign of adulthood, for the young man to earn his license at the age of 16. Even moreso when he managed to get his hands on his first car of his very own. Women are certainly not excluded from this right of passage, but due to the sexual status of men and women when the car culture first began, it was predominently male, and continues to be. The young man, now outfitted with a license and wheels, was suddenly able to visit friends without his parents' knowledge or aid. To visit and pick up girls without his parents' knowledge or aid. To come home at any time of night without his parents'...aid (usually they somehow find out how late it was, and the young man remembers he's still a boy). All this sybolism and freedom offered by the automobile coupled with the raging repressed Oedipal complex of most teennage males makes for a hell of a need to get that license, get the car, and get out once in a while. Oedipus? Where does he come in? Have you ever seen a teenage male driving? The expression "Drive it like you stole it!" comes to mind. Every man remembers the first time he was driving faster then his father ever did, and a lucky few remember seeing the look on their father's face when they came home in their new sports car, and Dad's sad expression when he looked at his old grocery getter.

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