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Courtship before and now in America
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19th Century Courtship Etiquette
Etiquette has played an important role in a secular society of the 19th century. Manners and rules of behavior meant as much as the social origin or status. Etiquette was a basis for any kind of relationships including romantic ones. Courtship of the 19th century had strict rules that were respected by the society. Through certain rituals of communication, people were getting to know each other better in order to get close and build the fundament of the future family. However, etiquette also played a limiting role. It was an unwritten law that only people of similar social status could get married. Etiquette was forbidding any unequal marriages and romantic relationships between people of different social classes. Moreover, etiquette was very strict to women and their reputation. The only possible way of relationship between a man and a woman was marriage, and any other kind of communication was restricted. For instance, if a woman had sexual relationship before marriage, she was considered impure, and her reputation was ruined for the rest of her life, it would also bring shame to all her family. Such women often could not get married after the fact of their dishonor had been exposed. In this paper, I would like to examine the courtship etiquette of the 19th century in detail and analyze its impact on the society.
In the 19th century, the society considered love essential for marriage and developed a certain code of ethics that would provide a descent way to build a strong union between a man and a woman based on companionship. The fiction of that time focused on love themes proclaiming respect, cooperation, and romance as the fundamental elements of a good marriage. It became a popular tendency...
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The first chapter begins with an exploration of love and marriage in many ancient and current cultures. Surprisingly many cultures either avoid the discussion of love in marriage or spit on the idea completely. China and other societies believed that love was simply a product of marriage and shouldn’t get too out of hand, while a few Greek and Roman philosophers shunned excessive
Robinson, Charles F. Dangerous Liaisons: Sex and Love in the Segregated South. Fayetteville: University of Arkansas, 2003. Print.
He attempts to convert A into an ethicist by using conjugal, or companionate love, as an example of how leading an ethical life does not mean surrendering all enjoyment and pleasure. Marriage falls under the umbrella of conjugal love. In “The Aesthetic Validity of Marriage,” Wilhelm offers an enlightening comparison of romantic love (in the aesthetic form) and conjugal love, arguing that the aestheticism of romance is not lost with long-term companionship or marriage and the challenges and responsibilities that come with it. Rather, marriage speaks to a higher form of aestheticism because it includes both love and sensuality — not just fickle lust (Kierkegaard). Those, like Johaness, who view long-term love with cynicism either marry for convenience or end up alone because they are blind to the possibility of anything
Where there is a strengthening of the idea of love and companionship (Briggs, 2016b). That marriage should be based on friendship and a more intimate type of love. The capable women who were able to succeed in a “precarious male venture,” (Sleeper-Smith, 2000, p.440) that Sleeper-Smith presents contradicts the ideal women of the 19th century as being nurturing, gentle and in need of protection and support (Briggs, 2016b). Which reinforced the patriarchal model of marriage that native women worked hard to
In class there have been many discussions over the relationships and marriages among the books we have read. When someone thinks of marriage, a fairy tale with a happy ending might come to mind, or possibly a safe haven for those looking for something stable. In The Awakening by Kate Chopin, and “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, marriage takes a turn for the worse. Marriage is no longer the happy memories in a lifetime. It can be the thing that hinders the women in these stories from developing their full potential or experiencing the world and other lifestyles. Through these texts and this time frame, we will analyze the meaning of their marriages, how they function, and the end result of both.
A marriage in the 19th century had many different expectations than it does today. Most marriages, especially for the upper class, were conducted as an exchange of assets and used for public display. Hendrik Hartog in his lecture titled, "Marital Expectations in Nineteenth Century America," writes, "At least until the middle years of the nineteenth century being married meant subjecting oneself to a known and coercive public relationship," (96). It was an agreement that publicly cha...
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Moran, Rachel F. "Interracial Intimacy: The Regulation of Race and Romance." History Today. 52:11 (2002): 75.
In the podcast, Politeness, Melyvn Bragg discusses the idea of politeness at the start of the 18th century. As mentioned, politeness is “a notion that implies care and the ability to recognize others feelings”. The guidelines for best behavior at the end of the 17th century was formed out of moderation, so going into the 18th century created a new world of contact and conversation through the development of coffeehouses. People discovered interaction through politeness, thus allowing them to deal with people inferior to them or to those who made them feel inferior. Melvyn brings up how the movement of politeness was essentially a reaction to the civil war that eventually laid foundations for a new world. The introduction of coffeehouses permitted the public to read The Spectator and embrace issues and arguments; which allowed it's readers to recognize problems and social issues. Melvyn brought up that conversation was how one learned politeness so that opposing people can meet on equal terms. As the civil war continued in politics, politeness became an attempt to making a difference in society and social life. It allowed people to speak to others regardless of rank and gender. He discusses how the growth of public space in coffeehouses was both a real place as well as a metaphorical one, which allowed opinion and publication so that people can read aloud and interact with others. An interesting point he mentioned was showing politeness through culture; that the whole idea of culture is displayed by reading and how/what you read. Also I found it interesting how manners are based on inner morality, but excessive manners can lead to manipulation and getting one's own way. Politeness brings philosophy to the table, thus ...
Essential yet underplayed, seduction is a means to establishing a physical union. Throughout literature the basic arts of seduction, chasing the opposite sex, have changed, but a reader of such literature can see that the motive of seduction has mostly remained the same. The metaphysical literary motive of seduction in the context of this paper is a delicate technique of intentionally tempting a person to participate in a physical union or exploitation, or to inspire or persuade a person to partake in sexual behaviors. Although the outcome of these seduction techniques are sexual, literary authors have their own ways of writing these complex ideas in a colloquial language. As time progressed, debates over the literary means of seduction has
Mahin, Michael J. The Awakening and The Yellow Wallpaper: "An Intertextual Comparison of the "Conventional" Connotations of Marriage and Propriety." Domestic Goddesses (1999). Web. 29 June 2015.
A lot has changed in the past few decades, not to mention centuries. Perhaps you’ve heard your grandparents, or any adult in general, talking about how much the world is changing. In the past few decades, commitment has gone on a rollercoaster. At times it’s going uphill-marriage rates are up, divorce rates are down, and people are happy in their relationships. At other times, it has been quite the opposite. In A Brave New World, they show a glimpse of a possible future society; the novel serves as a warning to help the world slow down when it comes to technology and love. The expression of love has evolved throughout time due to the decrease of chivalry and the increase in divorce rates because of the change of “steps” in a relationship.
“Biography of Jane Austen.” Critical insight: Pride and Prejudice (2011): 18-31. Literary Reference Center. Web. 24 Nov 2013.
In this essay I would like to emphasize different ideas of how love is understood and discussed in literature. This topic has been immortal. One can notice that throughout the whole history writers have always been returning to this subject no matter what century people lived in or what their nationality was.
Fergus, Jan. “Biography.” The Cambridge Edition of the Works of Jane Austen. Ed. Janet Todd.