Dreams And Its Effects On The Lives Of The Married Essays

Dreams And Its Effects On The Lives Of The Married Essays

Length: 1850 words (5.3 double-spaced pages)

Rating: Better Essays

Open Document

Essay Preview

For perpetual problems, problems that boomerang into the lives of the married, Principle 6 advises to Over Come Gridlock, which shows how to save and protect marriages from irreconcilable differences. A Gridlock is a problem that just cannot be solved, such as the wife wants a baby and the husband is adamant about never wanting to have a baby. Gottman says that in order to navigate out of the gridlock, the cause of the problem must be understood. The goal in ending the gridlock is not to solve the problem, but to move from the gridlock to dialogue. Talking about the problem without hurting each other and learning to live with the problem in a healthy manner is vital. Spouses have different dreams for their lives and this can often lead to gridlock. Both party’s dreams are beautiful and important, and both should acknowledge the differences in the dreams and respect them. Dreams and goals must be brought forth and discussed, not buried within. Dreams may not ever change, and neither will the perpetual problem, however the couple’s response to the problem can. To work through Gridlocking , couples should become dream detectives, looking for and honoring each other’s dreams. In addition, couples should continue to work on their perpetual, unresolvable conflicts, never lowering their expectations and growing numb to one another. Instead, they should soothe each other and attempt to end the gridlock, by finding common ground. The fifth way Gottman advises overcoming gridlock is to say thank you to one another, counting blessings together and placing more importance on the good, rather than the gridlock.
Facing the gridlock allows it to no longer hover over the marriage, sucking the life from it. Principle 7, Creating Shared Meaning...

... middle of paper ...

... done in order to grow our friendship and become emotionally intelligent spouses, Gottman’s key themes to a vibrant and lasting marriage. I do crave a vivacious, undying, marriage with my best friend, and I believe that by seeking The Lord , by reading this book and keeping its 7 principles buried in my heart and mind, I can be prepared to keep a lasting and fruitful marriage. This will not happen by going on romantic dates, and solving every single problem, but by being his friend, being emotionally intelligent, and by handling problems and joys together. With his hand in mine and a fierce determination in our hearts we can choose to love each other relentlessly while making the most of our time here on earth together. We must keep the commitment to begin each day loving and verbally embracing each other, starting with the first date and bowl of cereal

Need Writing Help?

Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.

Check your paper »

Essay about What Dreams May Come: Identifying and Addressing Conflict

- The film I chose to focus upon for the purposes of this reflection paper is titled What Dreams May Come. I have considered this piece to be my favorite since I first came upon it more than ten years ago, and was pleased to be assigned the responsibility of identifying conflict; as I had not realized that this content existed prior to the completion of this assignment. I had always highlighted the cinematography, emotional attachment of the characters, and progressive ideation of the afterlife when reflecting upon the film....   [tags: Cinema]

Better Essays
1892 words (5.4 pages)

The Influences of Curley's Wife on the Development of John Steinbeck's novel, Of Mice and Men

- Curley's wife is an essential character for the development of John Steinbeck's novel, Of Mice and Men, even though mysterious and nameless, she portrays the women of the 1930s, as well as emphasises their objectification and undermining. Curley's wife is also of great importance for developing the themes of dreaming as well as their downfall, the desire to be free and independent or essentially the American Dream. Finally, she also develops the theme of loneliness in the novel, as well as the theme of bitterness; her conversations with other characters in the novel greatly show this aspect of her and contribute to the novel in many ways, making Curley's wife one of the most influential and...   [tags: women, dreams, loneliness]

Better Essays
1191 words (3.4 pages)

The Holocaust: Still Destroying Lives Since 1933 Essay

- The Nazi regime referred to the Second World War as the ‘Final Solution to the Jewish Question’. An estimated sixty million people lost their lives during this war and the effects from its destruction can still be felt today. In Europe, Jews were hunted down, mistreated, taken to concentration camps, and eventually killed. One camp, Auschwitz, became an ideal model of what these camps should be. Millions of people were taken to this camp, tortured and killed (Grahovac & Herman, 2006). Consequently, what happened to the “lucky” ones who survived and how did the Holocaust effect them....   [tags: WWII, SHOAH, Nazism]

Better Essays
1524 words (4.4 pages)

The Dark Side Of The Lives Of Today 's Society Essay

- She stands, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. She is drowning so far under, the ocean drips from her eyes. She is screaming, but staying as silent as the shadows in hopes to avoid brutal words. Analyzing her options, she walks away from the edge: she keeps trying as she whispers to herself: one more day. She silently ascends up the stairs to her bedroom – her safe-haven. She’s laying beneath the blankets, hoping sleep will soon be washing over her and take her far away from this place her parents force her to call home....   [tags: Child abuse, Domestic violence, Abuse, Neglect]

Better Essays
1219 words (3.5 pages)

Domestic Violence And Its Effects Essay

- Although conflicts subsist inevitable, the degree to which individuals react to the conflict stands well-regulated. While some individuals react with negotiations and agreements, others rely on the power of violence and degradation. According to the text, domestic violence reflects “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner” (Olson, DeFrain, & Skogrand, 2014, p. 427). When contemplating domestic violence, many individual’s minds wander to physical abuse, but domestic abuse subsists far greater, including physical, sexual, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse....   [tags: Domestic violence, Child abuse, Abuse]

Better Essays
1077 words (3.1 pages)

Dreams And Its Effects On Our Lives Essay

- Dreams are states of consciousness, known as the stories and mental images our brains create during certain stages of sleep. Even though these are a common feature of humankind, they continue to remain a mystery. For many years, psychologists have come up with different theories as an attempt to explain why this phenomenon, we have not been able to understand, takes place. While some researchers believe dreams have no purpose nor greater meaning, others believe dreams are imperative for mental and emotional health....   [tags: Unconscious mind, Sigmund Freud, Dream, Carl Jung]

Better Essays
1019 words (2.9 pages)

Childhood Dreams To Adulthood Reality Essay

- Nothing gets lost in the transition from childhood dreams to adulthood reality. The Childhood dream world resides with the subconscious stream of images and ideas, and are perpetually modified and refined throughout our lives. This continuance is in accordance with an ever evolving self enlightenment, and includes a strong influence from our interactions with others. That is, the gradual transition from childhood to adulthood is subject to constant internal and external changes, guiding a spiritual journey from the conception to the culmination of our desires....   [tags: Dreams]

Free Essays
446 words (1.3 pages)

Essay about The Effects of Industrialization in William Blake's London

- The Effects of Industrialization in William Blake's London 'London' by William Blake is one example of Blake's disapproval of changes that occurred in his lifetime. In his poem "London," from his work Songs of Experience, Blake describes the woes of the Industrial Revolution and the breaking of the common man's ties to the land, which he has brought upon himself. He describes the Thames River and the city streets as "chartered," or controlled by commercial interests; he refers to "mind-forged manacles"; he relates that every man's face contains "Marks of weakness, marks of woe"; and he discusses the "every cry of every Man" and "every Infant's cry of fear." He connects marriage and death...   [tags: Blake London Essays Poetry Poet Poem ]

Better Essays
1029 words (2.9 pages)

Essay about Dreams And Its Effects On Our Lives

- 10:52, 8 minutes until bedtime. You go through your nightly routine religiously; you memorize these steps to the point of it almost being second nature. Teeth brushed, hair combed, pajamas on, and ready to go. 8 hours of sleep waits. As you slowly fall into a deep sleep, and time passes. The brain actively enjoys hours of majestic journeys and exploration of colors, the possible places to go and things to see. Dreams are the thoughts, images, and emotions that come to our heads mostly when we are asleep....   [tags: Dream, Dreaming, Sigmund Freud, Brain]

Better Essays
2380 words (6.8 pages)

The Effects Of Social Networking On Society Essay example

- Learn from your past, do not regret it; do what makes you happy today; plan your future - Thoughts. Many philosophers, teachers, counselors and even many parents teach these ‘important rules’ of life. In the era of this techno-freak and socio-freak world these important rules are also seen on social networking sites as posts of people or pages followed. But, thoughts are always far from reality. A bridge has to be made to link both – again a thought. When it comes to put them in practical life, it becomes difficult....   [tags: Happiness, Positive psychology, Family, Life]

Better Essays
761 words (2.2 pages)