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There are lots of different theories and ideas that psychologists as well an any scientist has about couple and family relationships. The one element that seems to be something more and more common between romantically involved couples is emotional abuse. The saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is a lie that people tell themselves that will make them feel better about their situation. A lot of women as well as men are feeling the abuse that words can come with. The following critique will be looking at advice given by Dr. Steven Stosny (2010) about emotional abuse and what types of measures you can take to prevent such an awful concept from entering your relationship. The article goes to say that no matter if you are male of female that you are can experience emotional abuse and then it gives …show more content…
However, after a long search two theories appeared that proved to be worthy. The first theory was developed by a man named David Olsen and it is called the Circumflex Model(White et al. p. 300). To commence, the model looks a three different dimensions of family functioning: cohesion, flexibility and communication(White et al. p. 300). The whole model shows the overall physical and emotional connectedness of a family and it ranges from overly disconnected to overly connected and balanced(White et al. p. 300). This seems like it would not connect to the advice that was presented previously however, according to this model, a stress-free couple is a couple family. By using communication and taking each crisis one day at a time there is no need for emotional abuse. That being said, this theory does not say that as a couple you just need to gain more self-compassion but it says to work together with your partner and then you will have significantly less
In Queen’s “Being Emotionally Abuse: A Phenomenological Study of Adult Women’s Experience of Emotionally Abusive Intimate Partner Relationship”, focused on a total of 15 women, who have been emotionally abused from an intimate partner relationship and wanted the women to describe, “What is it like to live the life of a woman who is emotionally abused by her intimate partner?” When experiencing emotional abuse, it can be express as “not easily detected; it is non-transparent in there is no physical markers.” (Bornstein 2007, Campbell & Humphreys, 1984; Evans 1996; Gelles & Strauss, 19888; Kurst-Swanger & Petcosk, 2003, O’Leary 1999; Walker, 2000). The emotional abuse can be very hurtful towards the women at times because while in the cycle of the relationship, the woman cannot tell when something bad or good will happen. While this is happening, she begins to lose strength that she once had before and in away she is trapped inside her own mind. With physical harm, individuals outside the relationship can notice the bumps and bruises on the skin. Alma, a young mother of three pre-teen girls describes her personal experience with emotional abuse as, “I was very restricted. He wouldn’t allow me to contact my mom...my family, my friends. After I had my daughter, I wasn’t allowed to go to the doctor. I could only go to take my daughter...I didn’t know anything about our checking account..I didn’t have my own money.” When thinking about emotional abuse, understand that you cannot see the “bumps and bruises” but you can still see the effect it has on the partner by using their minds as their weapon rather focus upon the individual. According to Queen and others, after their research, they would define
... own childhood; no matter it are security and nurturing or abandonment and neglect, guidance and respect, or abuse and disdain. Not only the man becomes psychologically or physically abusive, but he is also aggressive towards his partner whenever he feels that his experience of rejection and consecutive disruption cannot be soothed by the defence that he mounted. Those people with a history of neglect or abuse, they usually not able to have confident in their partners whereby they perceive their partners as enemies instead of allies. These abusive relationships are often repeatable becoming more intense as if the man is riding on a rollercoaster ride. The rejection-abusive cycle is considered complete when the man felt he is not appreciated as his unrealistic expectation on relationships is not fulfilled - closeness and intimacy, in other words, further rejection.
The dynamics surrounding the decision to leave or stay, and possible consequences are very complex. There are various reasons victims may either opt to stay in an abusive relationship. Feelings of fear, shame, hopelessness, and the inability to provide for themselves are common factors. However, one of the primary reasons is some people do not realize they are victims. Quite often abusers can be very charismatic using apologies, affection, and promises to end the negative behavior to control their victims. Unfortunately, this tactic can create an emotional sense of conflict as the victim begins to reflect on the good times, while battling with the reality of the present. This type of behavior often predicates or serves as the prelude to the cycle of abuse theory, a component of the Battered Woman Syndrome; thus being the primary reason victims find it difficult to leave. In an article entitled “When Love Hurts” by Jill Cory and Karen McAndless –Davis, various facets and resulting impact of domestic violence are explored and correlated to BWS. In making the correlation between the cycle of abuse of and BWS, the cycle of abuse is the eighth component of the Battered Woman Syndrome (Fulero & Wrightsman, 2009) defined as a distinct pattern having three
Control and emotional manipulation are more commonly used in the beginning of a relationship as the “captain” of the house. The abuser starts to control who their spouse can be friends with, when and how they can spend money, and when they can go to town. If the victim of the relationships does anything without their permissions, he or she is emotionally punished by the abuser by threatening to leave the victim, uses guilt, rage, or criticizes. An abuser feeds off of these two types of abuse. A relationship that starts out like this can grow into something potentially more dangerous for the victim. The last three types of abuse are the more dangerous kinds of abuse. Verbal abuse is harmful to the victim’s confidence and self-esteem. Name calling, cruel jokes, and humiliation in public places are all types of verbal abuse that will bring someone into deep depression. Sexual and physical abuse is harmful to the victim’s health. In a healthy relationship, sex is wanted and meaningful; however, if the spouse is being forced to have sex, use unprotected sex, or not allowed to decide about keeping the baby, than this is a health hazard. It is an unhealthy relationship that is untrustworthy and disconnected; therefore, transmitted diseases can spread to the victim. Physical abuse is the more commonly known type of abuse. It is intentional pain from
Intimate partner violence does not discriminate. The ramifications of domestic violence can lead to serious issues within a family and one’s mental health (Graham-Bermann & Miller-Graff, 2015). Women and men can be abused. When discussing the how the perpetrator’s loved one is affected by intimate partner violence, one must recognize the ways that it impacts men and women.
Domestic abuse is quite a peculiar concoction to swallow. At first, it tastes like a sweet ambrosia but as it settles the pleasant dream quickly spoils into a putrid rot, leaving the victim confused and longing for what once was. Love- it is the factor that makes these cases so perplexing. The threats, the isolation, the insults, and the pain comes from what strikes as an unlikely source; an abuser whom one is close to or loves. To define, domestic abuse is intentional intimidation, physical assault, sexual assault, or any other abusive behavior by one intimate partner to another to display power or control. Its components include physical, sexual, and psychological violence as well as emotional abuse. As an outsider looking at a case of domestic
People do not fully understand domestic abuse as much as they should. It is not simple and the different forms of it needs to be explained more often. “Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse” (“What is Domestic Violence?”). These types of violence can range from mild to severe. Mild abuse includes pushing, grabbing, shoving, or slapping a woman. Severe abuse includes kicking, choking, beating or using a weapon on women.
Karen Horney “Distrust between sexes” proceeds go into the different aspects of Love and Relationships. In this book Horney gives examples on how women deal with emotions which transitions from childhood to adult life. The fundamentals of documentation are displayed in unavoidable ways in most occurrences people run into. People are blind to the fact that love in relationships can be destroyed by overt or covert? In some cases lack of sympathy is then blamed, when relationships don’t work out between two individuals. Some couples fall into social, economic defaults which impacts the relationships. These are issues people never stop to think about, all they want to do is shift the blame to one another in a relationship. Self-preservation is a basic instinct for everyone and is present at birth. This can enhance the natural fear of losing ourselves in a relationship (Horney 1930). In Horney discussions I found that a person only feels despair because of the deep emotions of abundant from “Love” during childhood. That can develop more mixed emotions that turn into mistrust, which causes delusions that tell them they are not getting love from their partner (Horney 1930). With these types of feelings mistrust sips into relationships, starting from a child carries over into adult life. Reasons are when a child comes into the world learns everything it needs to know from its parent. If the child’s emotional needs are not taken care of when the family increases, the child will feel a need to compete for affection from the parents, which could turn into a painful situation. With this being said the child grows into an adult with suppressed aggression. If he/she has not learned how to deal with...
Emotional abuse is when the partner tells you things like “no one else will ever love you”, “you are worthless”, “you do everything wrong”, and so on. These are things that you think about all the time after it is said and you replay over and over in your mind. Emotional abuse can lead to you feeling like you have no self-worth, and could push you to do something drast...
When people think of domestic violence, they often think of an injured or bruised woman who has been brutally assaulted by her partner. However, not all abusive relationships involve violence. Verbal abuse is the main abuse that will be discussed in this research paper. Just because you’re not assaulted does not mean you’re not battered. Many women suffer from verbal abuse, which is no less devastating. Sadly, emotional abuse is often unrecognized, even by the person being abused. Emotional abuse can hurt just as much as physical violence, or even more in my opinion. This problem has become especially evident in in our country today. As an example, lets look at my last relationship, we were together for almost two years, and sometimes it seemed we were on a roller-coaster ride, in our relationship. It appeared she was so insecure about herself that she had a breast implant surgery, besides that she was not happy with her figure. She is now thirty-four years old and there is a fifteen-year age difference between us. The truth is that it seemed that every time she would get upset, she would just yell and threaten to call my parole officer, and she would say to me how “I was a no good gangsta thug, and she wished that I was back in prison or dead, and how she regrets leaving her former boyfriend for me.” When in fact, my anger and jealously would overcome my feelings for her.
A common problem in the world today is domestic abuse. Many times the male of a household abuses the woman and children that they life with. Although there are opportunities to safely get out of these situations, women too often stay. While this seems crazy that anyone would even think of staying in a situation of such violent nature, the reason is for more astonishing. Many times the women of these relationships love their abuser. An article written by a woman named Amanda
Abuse has become so common that some people do not realize they are being abused. It is important that this topic is studied because there are many gaps of knowledge to what all an abusive relationship can entail. The goal is to help someone somewhere get out of an abusive relationship before its too late. Whether its emotional or physical abuse, neither is healthy for a person to maintain in. So seeking relationship advice from outside sources, such as popular press articles may be a usual for tool for people who are looking for insight as long as they know to check up on the research involved in the article. This paper will compare and contrast the findings from the article I have chosen to the scholarly research that has been conducted on abusive relationships.
A persons emotions influence every aspect of ones lives. Especially when you’re a child, your emotions are vulnerable to every interaction they receive. When these emotions are beaten down and destroyed continuously, a common name for this is abuse. For example, Dee, a young married women, was emotionally abused everyday by her husband. He treated her as more of a servant than a wife and she eventually hated her life. She became depressed and eventually contemplated suicide. It wasn’t until then that she considered getting help (YWCA Mohawk Valley, 2014). Approximately one third of Canadians have experienced child abuse (CBC Radio, 2014) and approximately 8% of Canadians experience depression (Mood Disorders Society of Canada, 2009)? This is normally an uncommon conversation topic in today’s society because most people do not like to talk about it. The statistics above are connected; many people who experience abuse are prone to mental illness. When a child has been physically abused, there are noticeable bruises, or other effects on the person. On the other hand, most people do not recognize or even know the effects of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can deeply wound a child, and as the child grows, the scars will remain; the scars that people do not see that can cause a lifetime of suffering. These invisible scars can affect a person’s development as they struggle to accept themselves from childhood through adolescence to adulthood. Emotional abuse negatively impacts an individual’s self-esteem, which can in turn, cause depression and substance abuse later in adulthood.
There are many different forms of abuse and many people do not realize. Verbal abuse is the use of words to attack, hurt or injure someone, or to gain power and control over them, or to persuade someone to believe something that is untrue and harmful. Abuse does not just occur with men to women, though this paper is going to focus on it. Abuse is about control and the fear of losing it. The abuser may fear not being “good enough” and or meeting others expectations. He/she may attempt to make their victim feel and believe similar things about him/her self. Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the "silent treatment"), manipulate, and control. There are a million ways to abuse, directly and indirectly.
Falling in love with someone is supposed to be one of life’s greatest gifts. People fall in love, get married and have children. Sometimes life is not that simple for some people. Sometimes during this great time in their life, their partner becomes physically, mentally, and sexually abusive. So one would ask, why not leave and get out of the relationship? It is not that simple for the victim. Fear of their partner’s actions, concerns about their children, and their deep attachment to their partner are factors that cause people to stay in abusive relationships.