Dave 's Family And The Family Essay

Dave 's Family And The Family Essay

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Dave’s family controlled almost everything in their lives and were able to do so because Dave worked for the family business and was completely dependent on the family financially. Because he didn’t have a college education, it was difficult for him to break off on his own. The family even had Dave and Julie move into a family house that was only a few streets away from the business. Also, Ron was even an ecclesiastical leader in the church which caused even more enmeshment in the family. There were few boundaries between these two families which is problematic. As Harway. 2005, p.50 explains “Partners who have not sufficiently separated from their family of origin court serious interference from well-meaning but intrusive parents.” Dave and Julie didn’t have a problem separating from Julie’s family, but Dave’s family was a different story. Harway, 2005, p. 34 goes on to explain, “Marriage is concerned with moving from a dependency relationship with one’s parents to a peer relationship with one’s spouse. The major focus of the marital relationship (is) ending the primary ties with one’s parents and redirecting one’s energies from the family of origin into the marriage.”
Dave’s role in the family was that of a peacekeeper. He was also the baby of the family and his mother’s pride and joy. When Julie came along it changed that relationship and caused triangulation between Dave, Julie, and Karina.
The inferred marriage contract and schema that Julie believed the marriage would be was different from what it actually was. A family schema is explained as “those jointly held beliefs among the family members that have formed as a result of years of integrated interaction within the family unit” and that “Schemas are often at the heart ...


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...eir lives have been independent of each other. They had a more loosely formed family structure without a strong hierarchy. Dave’s family, on the other hand, has a strong hierarchical structure with Ron Palmer as the head of the family and Karina a strong second in controlling the family. For example, before the business had cell phones if Julie wanted to speak to Steve during work hours, she had to call the plumbing business office and talk to Karina. Karina would ask what Julie wanted to talk to Dave about and then she would decide if she thought it was important enough to tell Dave then or wait until after work. Unbelievably, when Julie called to say she was going into labor with her first child, Karina decided to have Ron take Julie to the hospital instead of Steve because Steve was on a job. Steve wasn’t informed about the impending birth until later in the day.

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