He remembers how radical his mom and dad were: their nakedness, their interests, their politics. Daniel thinks about his father 's voice, saying it 's “a voice l associate with the expression on his face of complete self-absorption" (36). He waxes poetic about Paul 's hypocrisy and redundancy, recalling these traits with an unbelievably fond tone (36). From a young age, he wills himself to “...[take] what he gave to have him” because he loves his father so much. Daniel recalls, initially, the beauty he saw in his mother, as every young child does.
Once his parents have been arrested, there is a sense of sadness and estrangement when he writes about them. When visiting them in prison for the first time, Daniel realises his mother is “no longer pretty to him” (245), and he fears his father’s manic disposition and conspicuous mental instability (248). As time goes on after their deaths, he develops a retrospective resentment of the Issacsons which he projects onto the Lewins a great deal. He struggles to reject the parts of him that mirror the people his parents were. In the end, though, it seems that Daniel simultaneously accepts those parts of himself and lets go of all of the anger he felt towards his parents.
I’m currently at a point in my life where the primary emotion I feel towards my parents is anger (read: borderline rage). Even though I’m well aware of the fact that my ange...
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...d when I was younger and she told me that she thought I was just “clingy and shy.” You see, my parents have always been good at defending me (or maybe themselves), but never all that great at understanding me. So when we have these misunderstandings, at the end of the day, I still find it quite scary to go to bed when I’m angry at them. I know that they’ll be there in the morning, but that doesn 't stop the wave of anxiety and nausea I feel when I’m trying to fall asleep and I know I’m still very angry at my mom or dad. I’m too old to sleep in their bed and glue myself to their sides, but I’m certainly not too old to need them. A long time from now, when all of my anxieties finally leave me, and maybe my mom and dad do, too, I’ll still need them. Because they’re my parents, the only two people in the world that are obligated to love me no matter how much I screw up.
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