The Cry of Tamar was a very impactful book to read as a woman in general. But to be transparent, it was exceptionally impactful for myself: a woman who has been a victim of emotional and sexual abuse. There was a lot of great material in the book, but I would like to reflect on the topics most impactful to myself. Cooper-White first starts the book narrating the story of Tamar in the Bible. In all the years of growing up in church, I had never heard this story. I would like to say that I feel like I have read most of the Bible, but apparently not. I was just horrified at this story on so many levels. Not only was Tamar horrifically raped and set aside for the rest of her life, but this was done by FAMILY. Cooper-White explained how if Tamar …show more content…
It started slowly, with just him not wanting me to go to one type of social event because he didn’t like the people there. Then it got worse and worse. He was trying to control me by alienating me from my friends. After a bit I started fighting back, which made his obsession with controlling me as his possession stronger. When I finally asked him to leave he threatened to kill himself. I finally got him out, and he was staying at his mother 's house, but then the stalking started. On page 92 in the book, Cooper-White explains stalking by outlining the Justice Department 's Stalking Victimization Survey 's seven types of harassing behaviors: "1. Making unwanted phone calls, 2. Sending unsolicited or unwanted letters or emails, 3. Following or spying on the victim, 4. Showing up at places without a legitimate reason, 5. Waiting at places for the victim, 6. Leaving unwanted items, presents or flowers, and 7. Posting information or spreading rumors about the victim on the Internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth". My stalker did every single one of these things to me. When I read the chapter on Sexual Harassment and Stalking, it was almost a validation of what I went through as a victim. Thankfully in my situation, I kept track of his stalking and took him to court. The judge was able to identify his actions as stalking, (probably unknown to me she probably used this …show more content…
Also, towards the end of the book, Cooper-White writes about counseling for survivors. I never went to counselling, although I think I should have, but I can relate to her section on "Empowerment-Based Pastoral Care and Counseling" (pg 239). She talks about the different components of empowering pastoral relationships, and the one that I know helped me the most was "trust in the Spirit to move. It 's going on 6 years after I was stalked and I am constantly gently reminded by the Spirit, that God has kept us (my son and I), safe so far, and will continue to keep us safe. Just a month ago he created fake profiles, and posted pictures of my son all over the internet again to harass me, but through it I still heard that sweet gentle voice of the Holy Spirit reminding me that He is protecting us. Cooper-White talks about how Pastors should empower survivors in a new freedom and actions, and a survivor 's own decisions bring healing and renewal. I have to say that after the stalking, I moved to Arizona, got an AMAZING new career, am going to school, and am raising one heck of a strong, smart, and sensitive young man. This statement is true. Once I was EMPOWERED to lead my own life free
... Joyce Dorado. "Who Are We, But For The Stories We Tell: Family Stories And Healing." Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, And Policy 2.3 (2010): 243-249. PsycARTICLES. Web. 2 May 2014.
...f Jacobs’s narrative is the sexual exploitation that she, as well as many other slave women, had to endure. Her narrative focuses on the domestic issues that faced African-American women, she even states, “Slavery is bad for men, but it is far more terrible for women”. Therefore, gender separated the two narratives, and gave each a distinct view toward slavery.
...hose moments of violence with this woman, being raped by men who have no say so with their own lives. The more your read you are forced to put yourself in this woman shoes, to imagine what she went through. As you read the article you are forced to ask questions, to reconstruct the past with Warren as she pieces together this slaves story. Even in the lyrics to the song he asks “Now stop and imagine that’s you. Now stop imagining unravels the truth and asks just who it is happening to”. (Veit, “The Travelers” Lecture) In both sources imagination is an imperative piece to reconstruct the past. There is no way that we can go back in time, resurrect the dead and ask them are the things true or false, we solely depend on our imagination to make this reconstruction, which is why our imagination is important to understand and construct life during the time of slavery.
“Stalking is conservatively defined as "a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated (two or more occasions) visual or physical proximity, nonconsensual communication, or verbal, written, or implied threats, or a combination thereof, that would cause a reasonable person fear." [1] Stalking behaviors also may include persistent patterns of leaving or sending the victim unwanted items or presents that may range from seemingly romantic to bizarre, following or laying in wait for the victim, damaging or threatening to damage the victim's property, defaming the victim's character, or harassing the victim via the Internet by posting personal information o...
This book shows the struggles that the main character, Precious Jones, has to go through after she was raped by her father twice. Not only is she raped, but her mother does nothing about it and just wants her to live with what ha...
Did you know that according to a recent study, approximately one in ten girls have been victims of rape or forced sexual acts? In other words, women and girls are seen and reduced to their bodies, rather than human beings. Even girls are forced to be treated as objects, and are oppressed at a young age. This is an ongoing issue, as women across the globe are being objectified. This is also true in family life. Men treat women as if they were something that they have a right to own and use, which is toxic for both sides of the relationship. Linda Pastan, in her poem Marks, finds that instrumentality, denial of subjectivity, and ownership cause the narrator to rethink and reject her
In the literature The Cry of Tamar the author Pamela Cooper-White provided an in-depth insight on how the act of violence has received increase attention over time throughout all over the world. I found it really interesting how the different violent acts that have been directed towards women, can all be directed toward really anyone not just women. This text helps the reader understand the acts of violence that are being used against people, and how the church should respond to assist the victims in coping and moving forward to get past these vicious acts. Pamela uses the story of Tamar the daughter of the king of David to help us get a grasp for the type of violence that can take place, shockingly even within a family. I found several parts
...eneficial due to the suggestions Simmons gives to teachers, parents and the victims themselves on effective ways to avoid and prevent this abusive behavior from continuing. I would highly recommend this book to girls of all ages, parents, teachers, school faculty or anyone who has contact with girls. Simmons believes we need to teach girls that it is okay to expose their most uncomfortable feelings. There are many dangerous warning signs of girls giving themselves over to someone else’s terms and denying their own feelings which worry Simmons the most. This behavior is dangerous and could lead to victims staying in violent relationships in the future if we do not teach girls early to know how to resist the signs of abuse.
s women deal with are mentioned in her book in particular battered women and domestic violence touched home with me. Sexual harassment however is one of those topics that also disturbs me as in my opinion it seems to proceed most cases of rape or sexual assault. The author does good to bring to the forefront the underlying cause of such acts and much of the research shows how behind such acts is the need for a man to possess, belittle and overpower women. The drawing back to the story of Tamar does good to show how these practices have been instilled in men since biblical times. In Tamar’s story it explains how the men surrounding Tamar and even Tamar herself viewed her body and rights as issues which the king and brothers could address. As children we are taught to behave properly according to our gender and this has lead us to a society in which women even after all the struggles to be viewed as equals, are still treated as sexual objects, or possessions of a man. Women
The frequency of women who had been abused as children was much greater than we had thought. We soon had 4 groups and more than 50 names on a waiting list. I learned about the tremendous cost of keeping the family secret. I learned of the emotional pain that can result from feeling different. As an educator I was appalled at my previous lack of awareness of the consequences of abuse. I vowed to somehow assist in giving a voice to those survivors who can teach us what it was to live with abuse and how to help today's
For twelve years I’ve tried to hide my pain and fear from you. I’ve been trying to ignore the horror stories, unknowingly blinding myself from the stories of hope. I’m not as bitter as this story may lead you to think. In fact, I am an adamant believer in the statement (overheard three years ago in the Coffee House): “God has never taken anything away from me that he hasn’t replaced with something better.”
In “The Trial of Girlhood” and “A Perilous Passage In the Slave Girl’s Life” Jacobs’s narrative emphasizes the problems that are faced by female slaves. She shares the sexual abuses that are commonly practiced by slave master against young female slaves. She does this through revealing the unique humiliation and the brutalities that were inflicted upon young slave girls. In this narrative we come to understand the psychological damage caused by sexual harassment. We also realize how this sexual harassment done by the slaveholders went against morality and “violated the most sacred commandment of nature,”(Harriet 289)as well as fundamental religious beliefs.
"Around the world at least one woman in every three has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family." (C,J Newton, 2011)
Rape is a crime of sexual violence that can cause “long-term emotional devastation” in a victim although some victims may respond to it differently (Williams, 16). Victims of this act can also face physical injuries: “the National Women's Study, funded by the National Institute of Drug Abuse, found that more than 70% of rape victims did not report any physical injuries as a result of their assault; only 4% sustain serious injuries that require hospitalization” (Frey). But, the most disturbing impact that society puts upon women after being raped is shame making the victim feel blamed. Usually the victim may feel less open and more “fearful” and “humiliated” towards society, making them not come forward and report the crime.
Using this method, he successfully engages the congregation through descriptive narratives and relating ideas to current times. As part of the narratives he includes descriptive biblical stories beginning with the story in his text, claiming it as a “scary story”. He further re-enforces this scary story concept by sharing two more biblical passages where a scary story exists. These biblical narratives are the beginning of what Wilson would call the second page of the sermon where the trouble in the text is given. This of course was preceded by his first page that discussed the idea of having scary stories in our lives today (trouble in the world) by using a vivid personal illustration. He continues to use vivid illustrations to hammer in his focus on the church needing to be friends to the downtrodden because God responds that way. He designs the third page to share the Gospel in the text reminding us that God responds to continual injustice by sending his son to be the friend that everyone needs. The one who stands up for injustice and never leaves your side. Finally, he concludes with the fourth page by demonstrating how churches can live the gospel in the world today. They do this through friendships with people in their surrounding community whose stories might be