Cooper-White first starts the book narrating the story of Tamar in the Bible. In all the years of growing up in church, I had never heard this story. I would like to say that I feel like I have read most of the Bible, but apparently not. I was just horrified at this story on so many levels. Not only was Tamar horrifically raped and set aside for the rest of her life, but this was done by FAMILY. Cooper-White explained how if Tamar 's father and brothers thought of her as a sacred "Thou" instead of a possessive "it", then this whole situation would have been avoided or played out differently. This explanation of "it" vs "Thou" was a great to way to set the foundation for the book and the violence against women portrayed throughout the book. Cooper-White talked about how in courts, they view a man killing his wife as a "crime of passion" and that he just momentarily loses his head when performing these crimes of passion, and somehow that makes it not as serious. But instead she argues that instead of losing his mind, the man is actually viewing the woman as an "it". If the man in the first place viewed his spouse, or the woman whom he is abusing, as someone precious and sacred (the "Thou"), he would never dream of allowing the abusive attitude to take over. This concept is important when reading the book, because it takes the blame off the victim. I know from experience as a victim, that we are quick to blame ourselves...
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...alks about how Pastors should empower survivors in a new freedom and actions, and a survivor 's own decisions bring healing and renewal. I have to say that after the stalking, I moved to Arizona, got an AMAZING new career, am going to school, and am raising one heck of a strong, smart, and sensitive young man. This statement is true. Once I was EMPOWERED to lead my own life free from his control, my life has flourished and I am so blessed.
As I stated in my introduction this book was especially impactful to me as a survivor of abuse. I really enjoyed Cooper-White 's thoroughness in explaining the topics and offering some insight for sure. Although some of the topics were tough to read, I really enjoyed the emotional journey I went on while reading. I also will recommend this book to some friends who have gone through similar or worse situations than I went through.
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