The Cries of a Lost Child

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I am gonna start of by saying this is not a call for help, or me trying to get attention. I am simply pouring some of the pain out of my heart nothing more nothing less. Well I suppose the beginning of his life is the best place to start. Terry Raynard Tyler Jr better known as T.j . was born August 1st, 1991. He would be 22 years old, six foot seven inches tall, healthy, in college playing football, trying to make something out of his self but I guess you could say the Lord had different plans.T.j was an only child for about two years then his younger sister Valerie came along. They were partners in crime. They were very sneaky children but didn't get into a lot of trouble. This went on for about seven years when T.j and Valerie’s baby sister Maya came along ( yes me). Oh they weren't happy about the arrival of me to say the least. They treated me like a step sister. I got pushed around by them all the time, but I knew one thing if I ever needed help I could go to either one of them. People said T.j was a “troubled child”, or a “problem child”. I didn't think so. Growing up T.j got into a lot of trouble at school, home, and with the police. I was aware of every wrong thing he had done yet I saw the good in him. T.j looked like a “thug” you know big and scary, but he really wasn't. The T.j I knew actually lots of people knew this T.j was funny, crazy, smart, caring, a big teddy bear. He wasn't just another hood-rat he had things going for him. He had athletic, and drawing abilities, as well as he was a people person, easy to get along with, and very knowledgeable about various topics . He was an almost well rounded person. (I say that because he was awful in math. I mean he puts the “Aw” in awful.) It’s crazy... ... middle of paper ... ...e life, I had several suicidal thoughts especially when I had the same recurring dream about him. After a while I accepted the fact that my brother died because of a higher purpose. Even though it’s not my fault my brother died doesn't take the hurt I have in my heart. It’s been two years, eleven months, and twelve days since I talked to my brother and things haven’t got all that much better. They say time heals all and I think that is absolute bull shit. All time does for me is remind how long it’s been since I've held a conversation with my brother, last time I hugged my brother, joked with my brother, had any type of contact with my only brother. There is not one day I don’t think of my brother and feel a little sad. I’m not so sure if this pain will fully go away but I feel alot better because I have never shared this “inside information” with anyone.

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