Dating - An Issue of Personal Choice
First there was the passing notes, hand holding and name-calling of middle school. Then you survived your first heartbreak when your high school sweetheart decided it would be best to be “just friends.” Now swept away in college life, with an important aspect being dorm life, you hardly take the time to step back and ask yourself, “What am I doing here? Who’s bed did I just wake up in, and how the hell did I get here?!” Okay, so the second part may not be applicable to all students, but at the same time you cannot deny that it happens, likely more often than one would be comfortable thinking about. If you have not yet taken the time to ponder what it is you plan to do with the so-called “best four years of your life,” besides studying and eating dorm food, perhaps it is about time you did. What do you want to be accomplishing in these prime dating years? More importantly, is that what you are accomplishing?
In short, the purpose of this writing is to discuss the question: “What role should dating play in college students’ lives?” Initially one might think this is a frivolous subject. On the contrary, there is a quite a range of opinions on the subject with marriage incorporated into a number of them. Marriage is not a frivolous topic. Consequently its precursor, dating, also bears significance.
One might also think that college students, being in the midst of their own dating lives, would be able to define dating, be familiar with their intentions, and have a strong concept of where the decisions they make today will take them tomorrow, as they relate to dating. Surprisingly, of the students I spoke with here on the Colorado State University campus, while conducting an informal survey, none would have met that standard. All hesitated greatly when asked to simply “define dating.” Once done struggling through that answer, they were asked “In your opinion, what is the purpose of dating in college?” These students’ answers ranged from “getting laid!” to “discover more about yourself through others and to find the person you want to marry” to “I have no clue.” Clearly, the college masses are blissfully unaware of exactly what it is they are doing when they are in pursuit of the attractive sex.
Belongingness is an emotion that everyone longs to feel throughout the course of their lives. Starting in adolescence, we as humans are naturally attracted to others in a romantic way. Girls in junior high start wearing make-up and dressing nice in order to impress the boys and get their attention. During this time, both girls and boys want a boyfriend or girlfriend, and are interested in this idea of “dating.” As boys and girls progress into high school, dating becomes even more of the thing to do. As a young teenager, I wanted to date, but my parents were against it. Many parents have a negative outlook about dating because of the consequences it may lead to, mainly sexual activity. Some believe that dating has changed drastically for the worse, but Beth Bailey believes differently. In Bailey’s article entitled “From Front Porch to Backseat: A History of the Date,” she analyzes the history of dating and how numerous people have not conceptualized this idea correctly. By showing authority, evidence, and values, Bailey presents an effective argument about the history of dating.
Colombo explains that “Beginning college can be disconcerting experience” (Colombo, p.1). That there will be more peer pressure from your peers and an increase expectations that you have never faced during your high school days. “In the dorms you may find yourself among people whose backgrounds make them seem foreign and unapproachable” (Colombo, p.1). Colombo also states “If you commute, you may be struggling against a feeling of isolation that you’ve never faced before” (Colombo, p. 1).
In Paul Toughmay’s “Who Gets to Graduate,” he follows a young first year college student, Vanessa Brewer, explaining her doubts, fears, and emotions while starting her college journey. As a student, at the University of Texas Brewer feels small and as if she doesn’t belong. Seeking advice from her family she calls her mom but after their conversation Brewer feels even more discouraged. Similar to Brewer I have had extreme emotions, doubts, and fears my freshman year in college.
Students entering college for the first time become concerned with their college life. The students are on their own once they enter college. There are no parents or guardians telling them when to do homework, when to go to bed, or how to eat healthy. These students are now responsible for how they are going to succeed in school and meet their own needs. From the beginning, these students wonder what their experience is going to be like and are they going to handle the demands of college?
They base their findings on the National Health and Social Life Survey, which found that those born after 1942 were “more sexually active at younger ages” than those born from 1933-42, and the trend toward greater sexual activity among young people “appears to halt or reverse” among those born from 1963-72. In addition to these facts, an English survey of more than 14,000 students from 19 universities and colleges about their hookup, dating, and relationship experiences revealed that 72% of students experience a hookup at least once by their senior year in college, but hooking up hasn’t replaced committed relationships and is not a new concept to young adults. The evidence is convincing and shows that students often participate in both at different times during college (69% of heterosexual students participated in a relationship lasting at least 6 months by senior year as well.) Based on this, the amount of hookups and committed relationship by college students seems to even out over
Martin O’Malley is currently running for president of the United States. In this paper I will be discussing his life and how he decided to run for presidency. Martin O’Malley would make a good president, but just like any other person, he has his flaws. For the most part, O’Malley is a man of his word. Being that he is very experienced in politics, he understands how everything works and would not have a hard time adjusting to presidency. Martin O’Malley has his own personal skills that would be of use to the presidency position. What makes O’Malley stand out as a politician is the skill that
In 1996, he won the election. By 2004, Obama made the decision to continue to climb up the social ladder. He decided to run for an open seat in the United States Senate. In November 2004, Obama received seventy percent of the votes allowing him to become the third African- American elected to the United States Senate since Reconstruction. In 2007, Obama publicized his candidacy for presidency for the 2008 election. In November 2008, he won the election and became the first African-American President of the United States. In just nine years Barack Obama went from being Junior Senator to President of the United States. In Ragged Dick, Alger presents the reader with the story of Dick Whittington, who has an even more dramatic case of rags to riches than Obama does. As a child, Whittington was poor but with hard work he came a very rich merchant and eventually the Lord Mayor of London.
Obama goes on to say “We cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together.” He believes that this is the time to change, and a new generation governed by racial minorities. Obama support these claims by reiterating his own beliefs and those of the American nation. “I would not be running for President...
Advice I would give to next years freshman is do not go boy-crazy or girl-crazy during the first semester at least because you need to focus on what you really came here for is higher education. It’s hard enough to get adjusted to the college life, with different methods of teaching to all of the homework. The only emotional distress one should have, not that one should, is just stressing over school. Stressing over being in a relationship isn’t worth it. A second piece of advice I would love to give is studying or doing homework in your dorm room is not effective, you get distracted easily. Go out to the library, and get your homework done faster in a peaceful and quiet environment. I didn’t learn this until the ending of the semester, I wish I had gone to the library earlier, then maybe my grades would be better than they are this semester.
Barack Obama has made a giant impact on the world, especially America. Living in a world were Africa Americans are a minority, and using his passion for helping other he has become one of the power men in the world. He has adapted to the constant changes in society, and tried to give all Americans a fair and happy life. He stopped a war, captures a fugitive, and passed laws are just a few of things that make Barack Obama so successful to serve two terms as a president. His honesty about his past, and his family relationship has made the Obama’s one of the most influential in the world.
We all share the same expanse of both Earth and time, and yet our perceptions of whether we can truly be romantically destined for another or not tends to differ considerably. Nearly three in four of Americans -- 73% -- believe in soulmates (Marist Poll). What’s going on with the remaining 27%? Since college has been dubbed the quintessential time for self exploration, the mystery of this discrepancy tugs at me and challenges me to investigate an unfamiliar world where soulmates cease to
Arnett (2000) explains the nature of romantic relationships in adolescence as tentative and transient where dating has more of a social component rather than romantic. He also describes dating in adolescence as often taking place in groups, where “adolescents share recreation such as parties, dances, and hanging out” (p. 473). It is evident that romantic relationships in adolescence are unstable, short-lived, and lack the mature component seen across adult romantic relationships. Arnett conveys that exploration in love becomes more serious and intimate during emerging adulthood. As opposed to adolescent romantic relationships, dating in emerging adulthood “is more likely to take place in couples, and the focus is less on recreation and more on exploring the potential for emotional and physical intimacy” (473). For instance, an adolescent in high school may seek a romantic partner to gain some sort of social status or experience in the process of romantic exploration whereas a senior in college may seek a long-term and mature partner to build a life with in adulthood. Exploration in the area of love during emerging adulthood “tends to involve a deeper level of intimacy, and the implicit question
...hey are involved in a commitment. An attractive girl always seems to become a little more popular when she becomes single. The rating system exists today, but not like it did in the economy of dating that Bailey discussed. It is more of an approval rating by peers based on the person’s qualities that you are dating, not their popularity. Trying to define dating proved to be difficult because it is a hard term to define, and it means different people to different things. My synopsis of dating in the modern world could be totally altered from someone else’s. I tried to write about what I have seen though, and how dating appears to work in my peer group. I believe that the peer group that I have been involved with is a good control group for popular society. However, it is always going to be difficult to try to make a lot of generalizations on dating rituals.
Perlman, D., & Sprecher, S. (in press). Sex, Initimacy, and dating in college. In R. D. McAnulty (Ed.), Sex in college. New York, NY: Praeger.
Are relationships in high school truly worth the potential heartache? Answers to this question vary, ranging from the enthusiastic “yes!” to the skeptical view of which cutting off one’s own third toe makes more sense to indifference. Yet, how can the value of a relationship be determined when the tumult of everyday teenage life may result in the potential loss or gain of a new relationship every week? One view may be relationships teenagers enter into are valuable practice for later in life, teaching those which engage in them how to interact with members of the opposite sex in a way which leads to marriage or family. Others, however, state the truism being a significantly low percentage of high school romances result in marriage. Although some may say the benefits outweigh the risks, relationships in high school are not feasible for many and may not be worth the effort put into them.