There are 5 different conflict management styles and using them can either negatively or positively affect relationships. I use all the styles of conflict management, but in my most recent conflicts I have been using a competitive style. The competitive style is mainly described as being quick to resolute, upfront, and in my case, fun. Like all the styles, there is drawbacks and benefits, but the competitive style is not too beneficial to everyone in the situation. If things do not go my way, I look to the other conflict management styles to resolve. That may sound self-centered, but that is not always the case.
II. What is your conflict management style?
After thinking about the most recent events where I had a conflict (conflicts) with someone else, I found that I am mostly managing them with a competitive conflict management style. I believe my position comes off as a superiority complex and usually people are reluctant to discuss things with me. In my perspective, life is boring without arguing and usually I am right about the outcomes, but I come to resent myself for being right because the outcome usually negatively impacts someone. In other words, people do not like being wrong, but I do not like being right either.
If I do get into an argument, I try to point out faults of everyone (including my own faults to dilute the tension; deescalate) or mention past events to justify things. People rarely listen to what I have to say, so I argue or use relevant social ammunition to discredit someone in order to get them to listen or act upon my concern. If the person does not budge on the subject, I search for a middle ground (compromise), walk...
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...forefront about my intended level of commitment and what I, “need” from others in a respectful way by engaging in dialogue. Taking an interest up over a position would be an improvement.
I take up a competitive conflict management style to resolve my problems, but I do not do it out of hurtful intend. People have obligations or promises they should adhere to, and I try to keep them down the straight and narrow with well-intended arguments or protests. If I do not get my way, I reel to resolve the conflict nonetheless. Social norms dictate how I react to situations and my emotions are not obvious to anyone. Collaboration is a style I would like use, but it is difficult for me because my lack of trust for others. So, I either need to surround myself with trustworthy people or become more open to get my interests across (socially and emotionally open).
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