The Birth Order Book: Why You Do What You Do Essay

The Birth Order Book: Why You Do What You Do Essay

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It is quite amazing how much birth order affects our personalities. As I read this book, it opened my eyes to see why my family members have the personalities that they do. Maybe you can find yourself in these lists. Everyone may not match perfectly to every characteristic.
Kevin says a person is probably a first born if he is “perfectionistic, reliable, conscientious, [a] list maker, organized, critical, serious, [and] scholarly.” The second born will likely avoid conflict, be a mediator, be independent, have the fewest pictures in the family photo album, and be very loyal to peers as well as have lots of friends. On the other hand the baby of the family will probably be manipulative, charming, and engaging. He may also blame others, show off, and be a good people person, and salesman.1
There are many things that effect this birth order in each family. These include gender, spacing, disabilities, birth order of parents, and the blending of families. For example if one family has two older kids and two younger it may turn out to be like “two families”.
Taking a look a the first borns we see that many of them are perfectionists. Since the parents the first borns are new to this parenting thing, they tend to be overprotective and anxious as well demanding and encouraging for excellence. We can also divide these first borns down even farther. We have the compliant first born who wants to please everyone. We also have the strong-willed first borns who are assertive. First borns tend to be the ones in leadership and high achievement jobs.
Very closely related to this birth order is what is called the “lonely only”.2 They have the traits of a first born with the word super in front of them like a supper-perfectionist. The only ...


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...each child and that each birth order is just as valuable. As an end note, a good way to look big in a child's life is to keep these words in their vocabulary: “ I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”.
I really enjoyed this book. I believe it would be a very helpful book for everyone to read. For parents it will help them to better understand their children, as well as train them in an effective way. For anyone working with people it will help them to know a little bit more of where the other person is coming from. Finally if nothing else it is quite interesting to learn about some of the traits one has, but never thought of as going with ones birth order. I read The Birth Order Book (236 pg) as well as 21 pages of The Five Love Languages.












Works Cited

Leman, Dr. Kevin. The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are. New York, Dell Publishing, 1985.

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