“Anyway, enough of that, I’ve got to give you a bollocking”, I said pretending to be stern. “Why what have I done”, she asked. “You told Adela some of my deep and dark secrets”. “Oh”, she replied, “Did I say something I shouldn’t”. “No, but it did give her grounds to give me a bashing, telling me that I am not the person I used to be and making me feel like shit. “Well you have changed a lot”, she said. “I haven’t…I’m still me”, I said with a raised voice. “Oh don’t go losing it with me, I’m just saying what I see”, she said defensively. I took a long drag of my cigarette and then an equally long exhale as I pondered the stacking evidence. “Have I changed?” I asked. She nodded whilst forcing a tiny smile. “For better or worse?” I asked. “Neither, you have just changed. I’m sure if you think for a moment about me, you would see changes in me, from when we first met”. I sat deep in thought for a moment before I replied, “Yeah, I suppose we all change but Adela meant that I had change...
... middle of paper ...
...made an excuse and disappeared, I thought it was strange but dismissed it and put it down to her trying to be everywhere and anywhere; the trials of a hostess.
A couple of hours later I was back in the car, driving Lisa home. I drove in silence as Lisa had fallen asleep and that gave me a chance to look back over the night and then the year. It had been a great year, our success seemed endless but losing Margaret had yet to bite and that scared me. However, Adela’s words echoed all the time and this worried me the most. Did I want to change? Did I want to be the person I had become? I glanced at Lisa, curled up in the passenger seat, her head resting against the door. I had hurt her for no good reason and I knew that given the chance I would hurt her again. Why was I like this? Should my new years resolution be to give up this lifestyle? Would 1978 have the answers?
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