My first realizations of being a female came when I was six years old. I was home from school and watching TV with my older brother. He ordered me to give him the remote, but I told him, “No” because I was there first. Before I had time to blink, I was thrown to the flood with my brother pinning me down and hitting my entire body. I could feel my body ache with every punch and all I could do was cry because I was not strong enough to fight a boy, let alone a boy that was four years older than me. When he was finally finished punching me, he menacingly stated, “Don’t ever say no to me again. You are a girl and I am a boy. Whatever a boy says, goes.” For about four years after that incident, I would frequently get beat up by my older brother. I got beat up for eating too much, playing basketball or football, and hanging out with guy friends. What I got beat up for was all of the female stereotypes that I had failed to follow.
For many years after that, I had an incredibly hard times with self-confidence and the image of me as a female. Although, since I have come to college, I am starting to view myself as a female in a more positive way. Occasionally I will become overly self-conscious and worry about how skinny my waist is, what food I eat, what I say around girl...
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...rlfriend, and I thought the rest would be history. I was wrong. We had been dating for about seven months when I started to notice the different quirks that he had. He would only eat pizza if it was covered in vegetables with absolutely no pepperonis. He would be busy every Thursday night for about an hour or so, and simply say, “I had errands to run.” He would always be busy when I asked him to come to church with me on Sundays. He refused to come to Christmas dinner at my house because he felt that the holidays were meant for immediate family to be together only. Mostly, he absolutely could not stand the smell of bacon. That is when I knew that something about him was not making sense to me.
I knew if I asked him, he would not tell me the true answer. So I decided to ask his mother about why he had so many objections about certain things. She looked at me, puzzled,
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